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What do you do


Guest Esm

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I haven't been out properly for nearly 2 years now....ok its probably been longer. On the odd occasion I do, it's basicaly to get into a car to go round to my parents house.

I go for weeks not seeing another living soul....making up excuses why I can't see my friends, lying so people don't think im pathetic. I can't go to see my psychiatrist because I can't face going outside, even getting in a car is becoming unbearable....for fear that someone will see me.

The longer I've left it the worse everythings got. Given up every part of my life to sit by myself all day. So just wondering what others do when they can't go out etc...what helps

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Hi Esm,

It sounds really tough for you not being able to go out, and lonely too.

The longer I've left it the worse everythings got. Given up every part of my life to sit by myself all day.

On another thread (by Victoria) we've talked about lack of motivation - is that a problem for you too or is it more a fear of going out.

When I was quite poorly and found it difficult to get out, my psychologist used to come to the house; I wonder if your GP or psychiatrist could arrange for a CPN to come to your house

- so you get to see someone

- they may help you to get out

Do your parents come to you as well as you to them or is that a problem too? It might be nice to do alternate visits with them....I don't know whether that would be feasible.

Anyway, meantime, we're here on the board - not much of a substitution for the real thing but people to chat and listen to.

Hope soon you find things feeling a bit better.

Take care :thumbup:

whitebeam

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Guest Muse_Man

Hi Esm,

I go for weeks not seeing another living soul....making up excuses why I can't see my friends, lying so people don't think im pathetic.

When I was in teenage years I felt the same way to you as well, but for probably different reasons. I felt lonely and trapped and became a hermit, of course I went school but unfortunately I was a loner. Life circumstances and the OCD at the time didnt help, I lived in a semi rural quiet area (Romney Marsh, Kent) and found I was cut off. I became depressed and scared of going out, because I became more self conscious of what other people would think of my OCD rituals and other insecurities I had about myself. It was a sad and lonely time for me, I had no friends. :thumbup:

This carried on for years, but I realised in the end that the more I left it the worse it got, and I eventually found that I was the only one who could change this situation. Things did help when I went to University where I moved to a town and was living with people my own age all the time, and had no choice but to go out with my friends, go shopping for myself, etc.

I can't go to see my psychiatrist because I can't face going outside, even getting in a car is becoming unbearable....for fear that someone will see me.

Do you have any idea what the reason or trigger is for your fear of going out, and why you fear that someone will see you? Can you get out and about to do the essentials like shopping, etc or do you have someone that does these things for you?

Obviously this is an important issue you have to address with your psychiatrist, so it is important that you work at getting over this fear. With what you said so far, I can suggest:

Get your friends to come and visit you instead of going out to them

Try relaxation exercises when the anxiety symptons start to come on to help combat the stress of being outside. Distract yourself from the things that cause you anxiety and focus on your task in hand.

Try not to take everything thats happening around you and filter out all the busy things going on around you

Go to a peaceful place like the countryside, park, library, etc where you can get some fresh air, meet someone or do something stimulating

Set tasks and purposes for going out which require a short distance, like walking to the local paper shop to buy milk or chocolate, have a little chinwag/small talk with the shop assistant. Than once you feel more confident doing this move onto bigger things in your own time e.g. going on the bus into town. You can use the car to your advantage

Get someone you trust like your parents to go out with you

On the internet find some local clubs or interest you could go to, you could even go to a local self help group

Remember the longer you leave it the harder it will be to overcome this fear!

Hope this helps and things get better, :thumbup:

Stuart

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