Should my ocd get this bad so soon

[Guest Beth]

Please be aware that this has some possiblity perhaps of affecting you, if so I'm deeply sorry I mean no harm I just really need to write this.

I feel like every day my ocd gets worse. My problem with writing is really getting me down and I think about it a lot, but what I just did has really upset me. I was taking a shower and the only problem I usually have is reading all the stuff on the labels of things like shampoo, although I have a problem with washing my hands its doesn't usually occur when I'm in the shower. However, I'd washed my hands before taking a shower and I kept having to wash them over and over and my hands were so cold I could just about feel them then I took a shower (in warm water as usual) and the warm water was making my hands tingle and it felt really weird, then at the end of the shower after I turned the water off something in me made me turn it back on but on a cold setting, then stand under the water and count to 4, then I had to do it again, then I turned it back to warm because obviously I was cold.

But this was a bad idea, something inside me was saying, 'NO!' telling me I had to leave the shower cold, and that putting it on warm and feeling warmth for even a second was wrong. So I did it again, but it went colder and when I stood under it I had to go, '1,2,3,4...1,2,3,4' and I couldn't change the setting something wouldn't let me. The most distressing part is that I became breathless and for a few seconds after had trouble catching my breath. I felt so cold and once I stepped out the shower I felt the urge to go back in because I'd only said '1,2,3,4' twice not 4 times, but I told myself the others counted, then to reassure me I said I have til next week to complete it and I do that a lot I tell myself I have a week or so to finish the ritual.

I'm really worried about this, it's getting worse really quickly, so much so that yesterday when I washed my hands and they were cold and red my mom even asked if it was because of obsessive washing and all I could do was nervously smile and change the subject. My family haven't noticed anything before for the past 3 1/2 years, it's getting so bad I can't hide it, surely it shouldn't progress this quickly?

:help:

Beth

[Guest jaded_and_back]

it has taken me ages to find out how to reply to messages on the board!!

I do not know how old you are Beth or how long this has been going on or what prompted it.....but this site interests me because it has made me realise just how many people out there feel alone with this distressing syndrome...whatever form it takes.

I have worked for almost 20 yrs in the NHS..neurology and other specialities and i never ever thought OCD would hit me!! but it did!!! Im a chilli pepper rock chick with my feet firmly on the ground...yet i spent almost 2 yrs in the irrational world where i knew my thoughts were controlling me...and yet...i could not get out of them!!!!

Its too complex to explain in a few lines.....but its real and its happening and even though I consider myself ''over it'' i still have thse days where im totally thinking on a different plane to the rest of the world and it controls my every movement.

I found a very good way of overcoming things......i didnt realise how at the time..but looking back....i realise i found the key to working it out of my system...and for the most part.....im fine all the time! I may try to look like Madonna but i have the hands of a 95 year old!! If you want to contact me to chat (cos im really bad at working these mssge boards) and that goes for anyone else.... then please just send a pm.

Have a nice evening people!

[Guest hayley73]

Hi Beth

You sound so stressed. I know from my own experience that OCD can become really intense all of a sudden. Have you changed medication recently? Have you been extra stressed? Has something majorly changed in your life? All these things can make OCD worse. To have to cold shower must have been really distressing. Is there someone you could talk to? OCD drives. Its relentless. It doesn't care about you and how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Please don't give in to any new compulsions. When I read your post, I could so identify. What I do now is get MAD at my OCD. I think to myself, this thing is not taking over my life!!!!!!! Please talk to someone. Maybe get some help if things are stuff. You do not need to suffer alone.

[Guest Beth]

I'm 16 and have had ocd for 3 and a half years. I saw a doctor in January and are waiting for my referral, I'm not on any medication. I know I need helpas it affects my daily life and causes me to life in what I call 'my daily hell'. It all started on September 11th 2001, though what happened had no direct affect I can only think that seeing what happened made me think my fears could come true and now I go to the extreme to stop them happening.

What was more distressing than the fact the shower was cold was that it cause me to have problems breathing I just couldn't catch my breath which caused me to panic a bit. My family knows about the ocd but I only really talk to my mom about it and we've only spoke a few times about it as I don't want to throw her into the whole situation.

I cna identify with having hands of a 95year old, I have eczema and washing obsessively makes it worse and so my hands are painful and sore sometimes.

Thanx for replying

Beth

[Guest CaptnDan]

I'm an OCD sufferer as well, so I'll give you my advice for dealing with problems like this. I'm just finally getting to grips with mine.. and this site has helped a lot!

When you have this problem:

If you can, try stopping the shower altogether. This may require some willpower, but if you can... close your eyes, and breathe deeply. Push as much air out of your lungs as possible, and breathe deeply. It's a refreshing sensation.

You may want to try some self actualisation. Consider other people, how they shower, and how they can about their lives. Then consider yourself, you are just like them, and you CAN beat it. Identify yourself, and how you were before, identify yourself as a person. This can help trigger that spark "What am I doing?!".

You may find after this, you can simply step out of the shower without continuing the ritual.

If not.. the most important thing is not too panic. OCD is a common problem, and take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.

I really suggest you refer to the anxiety curves on the main site. The anxiety creating from skipping a problem, will go away, if you busy your mind on something else.

Another useful method, is replacing any "bad thoughts" that you have with a neutral word. Strawberry, for example. If you block out bad thoughts, it may be easier to avoid any anxiety that would have been caused by them.

Good luck with this, and remember.. don't panic

[Guest hayley73]

Hi Beth

Hows things today?

As a fellow 'hand washer', I know your hands must be so sore. Heres some practical tips. Have you tried Palmolive Instant Hand Cleanser? Its made by other companies too. No need for soap and water! Just squirt a small blob on your hand and rub in. Try using baby wipes. Use hand cream (not the perfumed sort!!!! stings like crazy). When my hands were really bad I covered my hands in cream and wore cotton gloves to bed, really soothing. Take care Beth, I how these tips help.

[Guest Beth]

Hey thanx for the advice,

I covered my hands in cream and wore cotton gloves to bed

I have to do this already mainly because of my eczema which is made worse by the washing. Are you serious about the handwash, I like that idea, so much less stress, I already use E45 for my eczema, I may convince my mom to buy me some instant hand cleanser. Worse thing about obsessive washing is soap makes my hands sting really badly, and eczema gets really bad in the winter for me so this time of year is painful and sore.

Thanx again for all the advice, means a lot, always grateful.

Beth

[Guest hayley73]

Hi Beth

Yes, Hand Cleanser is available. I got some from my local chemist. Perhaps your Mum would buy some for you. Its much less harsh than soap and water.

Another way I fight my hand washing is by making my hands something to be proud off. I've stopped bitting my nails and try to shape them nicely. They look so much better!!!! I also got engaged at Christmas and so want to show my ring off!!!!!! Its a good incentive to have nice hands!!!!! Perhaps treat yourself to a nice piece of jewellery (doesn't have to be expensive) You will want nice hands to show of a nice ring!!!!

I totally relatate Beth to all that you have been saying. If you would like to Personally Message me thats fine. We can then perhaps talk in depth with confidentiality.

Chat soon

Hayley

[catherine]

Hi Beth

Just a practical suggestion to add to Hayley's. My psychiatrist now prescribes me 'Dermol' lotion for washing and it is specifically for problem skin such as excema. It is actually a soap subsitute but works just as well (it's even anti bacterial!). It has revolutionised my hands and although it doesn't address the underlying problem ie excessive washing, it makes it a damn sight less painful .

It's expensive to but (£12/bottle) but you can get it on presription which I guess you don't pay for at your age? Even if you do, it works out cheaper than buying it, and it does last a long time as the bottle is very big....500mls

Catherine :blushing:

[Guest ScottOCDid]

I saw a doctor in January and are waiting for my referral, I'm not on any medication. I know I need help as it affects my daily life

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Hi Beth,

I know that waiting for that help is hard for you - but you're definitely heading in the right direction by seeking professional advice.

I'm sorry to hear that it's all beating you up so much at the moment. The "challenge" aspect of your OCD, the compulsion to go back under the cold water, is very common. You might not even be clear what the related obsession is - you just "know" that you have to carry out your ritual to reassure yourself.

Unfortunately, this also seems to have had the knock-on effect of making you worry retrospectively about whether or not you were endangering yourself by standing under the cold water. Easier said than done, but I wouldn't worry too much about feeling weird when the water hit you again - it's normal for your nervous system to kick up a stink about sudden temperature changes (NOT that I'm recommending the cold shower as a habit).

Keep venting your frustrations on the board - it's a much better way of getting it out of your system.

S