OCD about friends and feeling like a bad person.

[Guest arctic_vixen80]

I haven't posted in a while but I've been getting a different type of OCD I think from the usual one. Maybe this one has come more to the surface now that I've been able to take a bit more control over the other one since my CBT.

The other one feels more like depression but there is an obsessional thing going on or like I'm paranoid or something. I have it where when I talk to people, I worry afterwards that I've said or done something stupid and they're gonna think things about me like she's sefish, wierd, rude, boring or just something negative that's gonna put them off being my friend.

I feel like I'm really losing reality on a lot of situations like for example, I've noticed someone has removed me from their friends list on Facebook and I start questionaing it like why did they do that? Was it something I did? Was it because I haven't talk to them recently. I worry what that I'm paying attention to some friends and ignoring others and feeling like such a terrible person to the point it makes me wanna cry. I feel I should be giving my time more equally. I worry that I'm not a good person because I don't reply to hardly anyones posts here. But I have this thing where I just don't feel like talking to some people or replying to a post and I dunno why I feel like that but it makes me feel I'm a bad person.

I feel lonely and fed up and I think about that more than I think about other people and I feel selfish. I see people who have lots of friends and think that's because they're lovery person and I don't have lots and I think I'm obviously not a good person. I wish I could be less selfish. I feel such pressure about this and that I'm selfish person because I always have my own reasons and needs for talking to somone. The guilt about these things just tears me apart. I dunno what to do about this. :crybaby:

Edited January 7, 2011 by arctic_vixen80

[Guest george25]

I know Just how you feel, I actually came on here today for the same reason. I figured these feelings were because of my OCD, but just wanted conformation! Every time I go out I spend the next day obsessing about what I might have said or done and how people viewed me. 'Did I flirt too much' 'Did I say something stupid' 'Am I a bad wife....and if so am I a bad person???' etc etc, the list goes on forever!! With me it's if I did a little thing I then turn it into a MASSIVE thing the next day! It's like I have OCD or something...oh yeah

Like yourself, It's not just worrying about how I come across too others, it's also overwhelming feelings of guilt, I do tend to feel responsible for other peoples happiness. But then I guess that's the essence of OCD! What we have to remember is that we are actually good people and thats WHY we care so much about what people think and if we upset others! Yes sometimes we don't see or hear from friends for a while but thats because life takes over and can get hetic but with a true friend you can just pick up were you left off You say that you always have 'own reasons' to talk to someone, but isn't that what friends are for and I bet if you think about it there is times when you have been the 'ear' for those same people and felt happy that they were able to confide in you! At the end of the day if you were truly a selfish person then you wouldn't give a damn or feel the way you do! You would just feel like a lot of other people out there with 'whatever,like I care'...oh how I envy them!lol

[Guest arctic_vixen80]

Hi George,

Sorry to hear about your OCD. I hope my post helped in some way. Thank you for your reply. It really helped. It must be an OCD thing but it's so difficult to tell sometimes.