OCD on past memories

[Guest Whatif]

feeling a bit stressed tbh and can't stop thinking about that program.

I'm sure everyone on here gets it but its the what if its not OCD and I am using OCD as an excuse for my fear and what if my mind has blanked out me doing my fear.

I know I should accept its OCD but that is the hard part I guess....

For those that have got over it, when did you realise that you had got over it, its not like a switch from OCD to fine so there must be that period inbetween and how did you know?

[worriedjohn]

It is surprising to see someone with exactly similar type of OCD as mine. What you described is exactly similar to mine. From my experience the more you check the memory, the harder your OCD gets. Whenever you are checking the memory, you are actually feeding your OCD. As far as I know what you need to do is not to check the memory at all. It is your compulsion. Just don't do it. In start you will feel more anxious, but tolerate the anxiety and not check the memory in any circumstances. After some time/day anxiety will be decreased. Over time your thought will begin to lose its strength and start to fade away.

[Guest Whatif]

It is surprising to see someone with exactly similar type of OCD as mine. What you described is exactly similar to mine. From my experience the more you check the memory, the harder your OCD gets. Whenever you are checking the memory, you are actually feeding your OCD. As far as I know what you need to do is not to check the memory at all. It is your compulsion. Just don't do it. In start you will feel more anxious, but tolerate the anxiety and not check the memory in any circumstances. After some time/day anxiety will be decreased. Over time your thought will begin to lose its strength and start to fade away.

Thanks for the post, nice to know somene else with a similar OCD to me.

Had a crappy night, had a nightmare over something else which is related to the main fear but again the dream felt so real but I'm not sure I did what I dreamt back in the past (I could have, I could not have) and to be honest even if I did it wasn't illegal so why am I so panicked over it.

Fun day ahead I can see!

[Guest Badger]

Thanks for the post, nice to know somene else with a similar OCD to me.

Had a crappy night, had a nightmare over something else which is related to the main fear but again the dream felt so real but I'm not sure I did what I dreamt back in the past (I could have, I could not have) and to be honest even if I did it wasn't illegal so why am I so panicked over it.

Fun day ahead I can see!

I'm going through something at the moment. Really worried. Can't keep on as my wife is on the edge of having enough of me. Causing me loads of stress and panic.

[Guest Whatif]

I'm going through something at the moment. Really worried. Can't keep on as my wife is on the edge of having enough of me. Causing me loads of stress and panic.

Sorry to hear that, I am trying to be proactive and not wallow in my mind but its hard and this dream I had last night has really thrown me and again if I had done this thing about 12 years ago that I am now worrying about it wasn't illegal but my mind is trying to twist it into something bad even though for 12 years its not upset me and then bam!

However I know not to obsess and I have been trying to do mindfulness (lol I was listening to Kabit Zinn this afternoon of work and I fell asleep!). I am trying not to go back into my memory and try and work it out and analyse but as I keep saying its hard as I want to prove to myself that I have done nothing wrong....if that makes sense

Positive thinking and all that

[Guest Whatif]

feeling alot better tonight, went and did something with some mates to distract me but I still have the urge to try and work out my thoughts but I am still just accepting the that thought is there.

[Guest Whatif]

Still feeling ok at the moment, not obsessing but the thoughts are like a white noise in the background waiting to explode and I feel like I have this nervous anxiety.

[Guest lard]

Hi

My mind is the same, it's locked onto an event that happened 19 years ago, I've dealt with it and accepted that I can't go back and change what happened. I feel guilty over the whole thing but looking back it wasn't really my fault. I keep punishing myself thou, should have known better. Maybe this is where my hate for myself comes from? Its hard to forget things when you have OCD, it just keeps coming back again and again!

[Guest Whatif]

I feel like I am on a losing battle with this new memory, I have more certainty than the other memory that nothing happened but I feel that I am losing that certainty and the longer this memory plagues me the less certain I become.

It is ridiculous how this thought caused me no problem for 11-12 years and because that time has elapsed i feel my mind is twisting the memory (which was innocuos and not illegal and really a nothing thought and now I am beginning to doubt this) into my worst fear even though.....I'm gonna stop because whilst this is a differant memory I know its moaning and self pitying etc and I know I have to accept that it IS OCD! and that my fears have no basis!

[Guest Whatif]

Its funny now that the last few days I have been feeling great and the thoughts are not causing me problems, I still get the thought but I can dismiss it as just being OCD and that I have not done anything wrong.

I just find it strange how I can have weeks where I am able to overcome the thoughts, relabel them as OCD and move on but once in a while (normally every 4-5 weeks) I have a period of 2-4 days where whatever I do I cannot relabel and cannot accept its OCD etc.

Anyone get any views on this and why its like this?

Cheers Guys

[Guest kazzam34]

wish there was an easy way to deal with this one. In my experience, so far, all the usual things like distraction, the four steps, re-labelling, getting on with your life, accepting it, etc etc don't seem to be able to exorcise this fear of "what if it really did happen".

The only thing that keeps me going with my particular horrendous thought is:

1. There is no evidence that it happened

2. I suffer from a chronic disorder which involves the brain, so it is plausible that the brain can believe something that isn't true because it is faulty.

3. there is no doubt that I do have OCD as I have responded to treatment in the text-book way (as confirmed by my psychologist)

4. I have told other people - professional and non-professional - what I fear I have done and they all say it is definitely OCD.

5. I have wholeheartedly believed things in the past which I later realised were just OCD.

Hope this helps. I am still in the midst of the battle so can't give you a solution.

Kazzam

[Guest Whatif]

wish there was an easy way to deal with this one. In my experience, so far, all the usual things like distraction, the four steps, re-labelling, getting on with your life, accepting it, etc etc don't seem to be able to exorcise this fear of "what if it really did happen".

The only thing that keeps me going with my particular horrendous thought is:

1. There is no evidence that it happened

2. I suffer from a chronic disorder which involves the brain, so it is plausible that the brain can believe something that isn't true because it is faulty.

3. there is no doubt that I do have OCD as I have responded to treatment in the text-book way (as confirmed by my psychologist)

4. I have told other people - professional and non-professional - what I fear I have done and they all say it is definitely OCD.

5. I have wholeheartedly believed things in the past which I later realised were just OCD.

Hope this helps. I am still in the midst of the battle so can't give you a solution.

Kazzam

Hi

Thanks for the reply, I know what you mean, I feel like I just have this nervous energy all the time but the last few days have been good.

I find it is easier to accept is OCD when my days are good, its just when I have a two or three day patch where my mind cannot accept its OCD that I find the hardest.