self doubt

[Guest scarednortheast]

hi im really worried my thoughts t not ocd, this i cant stop thinking. im sure by now everyone knows wot my problem is, has everyone on here at some point in their lives thoght they wish/want/hope/pray people they r most clsoe to family members to die? n they tell themselves they want this to happen? im tryin my best to help myaelf im off to see someone next week n ive read imp of the mind n im eradin brainlock at the moment.

please people two things,

i) tell me u have or have had the same thoughts?

ii) this is defo ocd n common?

thanks so appreciated as always xxxx

[catherine]

Hi scarednortheast

I can answer the first question by saying 'yes I too have these thoughts', but you try and answer the second question yourself

The problem is that however much we reassure you that it is OCD (which it is!) and that it is certainly not uncommon where intrusive thougts are concerned, you have to believe it yourself. It's really hard to do this and I'm so sorry that it's churning you up inside.

I do hope that by talking to someone face to face, it will help you with your struggles.

Take care

Catherine

[Adamski]

Hi scarednortheast,

As Catherine has already suggested, this post and the way that you have been thinking has got ocd written all over it. a lot of time has clearly been spent ruminating over a set of thoughts that most people have had at some point in their lives. But because we have ocd we tend to pin far too much attention to them and in doing so tangle a web of deceit.

I see that you are reading Brain Lock at the moment. Well one statement that you might like to keep in mind is this...If it feels like it is ocd then it is ocd. What you have presented in this post is a set of unwanted and worriesome thoughts that you are having trouble coming to terms with. By seeking reassurance that you are not alone..well that is your compulsion in this respect.

It is also good that you are trying to get something sorted out with regards to talking to someone about your problems. But ultimately the work that you will have to put into getting better is recognising that when these thoughts come along they are ocd thoughts and of no consequence.

See ya

Adam

[Caramoole]

Hi Scared...This is OCD in full reassurance mode and sadly, whatever someone says will not allay your fears, it will just ask for more i's dotting and t's crossing, and change to say ahhhh but.......

You need a great leap of faith here to read the books and the boards and then trust in yourself. I know it's hard though.

Good Luck

[Guest hope125]

Hi Scared Northeast,

Again having problems sending to you personally. I will sort it out! So am replying on the bulletin board.

Yes don't worry I have had the exact same thoughts, i only mentioned my fear of harming others because that is my main problem at the moment. I have had the same thoughts as you with regrad to hoping people die etc. IT's OCD! I read you are going to see somebody and am very happy. It really does make a difference!

Speak soon and good luck! I have a meeting with my therapist next wek for the first time in ages, just to touch base!. Let me know how you get on. I am so proud of you because you are taking the steps to beat it!!

Take Care

Hope125

xxxxxx

[Guest scarednortheast]

Hi Scared Northeast,

Again having problems sending to you personally.  I will sort it out!  So am replying on the bulletin board.

Yes don't worry I have had the exact same thoughts, i only mentioned my fear of harming others because that is my main problem at the moment.  I have had the same thoughts as you with regrad to hoping people die etc.  IT's OCD!  I read you are going to see somebody and am very happy.  It really does make a difference!

Speak soon and good luck!  I have a meeting with my therapist next wek for the first time in ages, just to touch base!.  Let me know how you get on. I am so proud of you because you are taking the steps to beat it!!

Take Care

Hope125

xxxxxx

37323[/snapback]

thanks for all the words of support it emans so much. sometimes i wonder how im going to live a normal life and get through this as every dingle thing i read watch seems to trigger another thought. i mean none of them but my brain convinces me i do but i do not. its like when people r ill ie the pope stuff like that it triggers my bad thoughts as i know things r goin to happen n then i can blame myself anyone get me? thanks so much to everyone luv n hugs to u all xxxx

[Guest hope125]

Hi,

You will be able to live a normal life, this problem takes management, "mind management".

If it's any consolation I thought i'd give you an example of one of my thoughts which are a little like yours, a couple of years ago a friends close relative died, my bad thoughts were triggered and I would tell myself that I was glad! Of course I was not, but it disturbed me that I could think of such an awful thing!

I fully understand what you mean by your explanation that your brain seems to be convincing you want these things when you don't.

I don't know whether this will be of any use but I have a technique that may help which I use sometimes. Here are a few ideas that my therapist has mentioned in the past, may sound daft but they help on really bad days! If I think a "bad thought" I imagine the computer desktop and drag the thought into the recycle bin! Another one to try is when a bad thought comes into your head, then think something really silly e.g. pink spotty dogs! This technique is training your brain to accept that the bad thoughts are just as daft as pink spotty dogs! I know this sounds really odd, but i thought it may help. This is just a tiny example of the things you may work on with your therapist.

This intense fear will pass because you will soon realise that these are just thoughts, not reality.

Speak soon

Hope 125

xxxx

I'm glad that you have found some reassurance from this bulletin board.

[Guest mandy]

hi im really worried my thoughts t not ocd, this i cant stop thinking.  im sure by now everyone knows wot my problem is, has everyone on here at some point in their lives thoght they wish/want/hope/pray people they r most clsoe to family members to die?  n they tell themselves they want this to happen?  im tryin my best to help myaelf im off to see someone next week n ive read imp of the mind n im eradin brainlock at the moment.

please people two things,

i)  tell me u have or have had the same thoughts?

ii)  this is defo ocd n common?

thanks so appreciated as always  xxxx

37274[/snapback]

i myself has wished my twin sister would die. i would hate it if she did but she doesnt understand me and my illness. all the time she calls me a freak. i hate her and do wish she was dead sometimes.

[Guest scarednortheast]

hi im really worried my thoughts t not ocd, this i cant stop thinking.  im sure by now everyone knows wot my problem is, has everyone on here at some point in their lives thoght they wish/want/hope/pray people they r most clsoe to family members to die?  n they tell themselves they want this to happen?  im tryin my best to help myaelf im off to see someone next week n ive read imp of the mind n im eradin brainlock at the moment.

please people two things,

i)  tell me u have or have had the same thoughts?

ii)  this is defo ocd n common?

thanks so appreciated as always  xxxx

37274[/snapback]

i myself has wished my twin sister would die. i would hate it if she did but she doesnt understand me and my illness. all the time she calls me a freak. i hate her and do wish she was dead sometimes.

37405[/snapback]

thanks hope i shall really try and use those, im pleased u understand me n seem to perfectly. mandy im very sorry ur twin sister doesnt understand u shud suggest she reads info on it and becomes more open minded as u r far from a freak. u hav an illness that can get better but understandin and support is needed, i really hope she turns round for u.

i see u also see wot i mean by thinkin u wish these things, im sure everyone does it dont u agree peeps? but only people with ocd worry ova it - but as everyone tells me thoguhts r harmless yeah? and this is an illness so i shud not feel guilty bout thinkin such things?

thanks all as always xxxx

[Guest scarednortheast]

also i want to add i totally do not mean any of the bad things i think my family are more important to me than anyone in the whole world this is y i cannot understand the horrible thoughts i hav. sometimes they r even worse whrn they r particualryl lovely to me which is all the time. its a weird illness people think it hits where it hurts? it amkes ya think the worst thing that cud happen in ya life?

[Caramoole]

also i want to add i totally do not mean any of the bad things i think my family are more important to me than anyone in the whole world

37418[/snapback]

We know this Scared, so do you, it's just your OCD nuisance that hasn't quite got it yet Try not to worry too much, it's a formidable enemy but you'll get there

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hi Scared

Just to say I have replied to your PM now from the other day so I hope you find it a little helpful.

Brainstrain

[Guest hope125]

Hello,

I'm glad we have been of some help. Going to see my therapist this week so if I come across any new techniques I will let you know.

E mail me whenever you need to.

Speak soon

Hope 125

xxxxxxx

[Guest scarednortheast]

does everyone think tis goin to get easier as at the moment its not doin. its like if i hear bout disasters/murders i think im pleased n ooh i wish it wud happen to my best mate or other people i dont mean it but it jsut happens? is the answer to just let myself think them one after the otehr? wot if they happen i wud fweel terrible?

[Guest hope125]

Hello scared,

Have replied to your pm but again not sure if it has gone. Let me know as i will have to look into this!!

Hope my pm is of some help.

Take Care

Hope

xxxx