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Guest Brainstrain

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Guest Brainstrain

Hi all,

I have mentioned this before but it is really getting to me, and the more I worry about it the more it happens.

I keep getting thoughts of other people in my head when I am trying to make love to my husband. Obviously I try to ignore this but then it seems to happen more and it makes me feel like I'm cheating him or something.

Even if it starts off ok, about halfway through my brain will go, 'Ooh do you remember what you started thinking about last time you did this?' and off I go again!

It's really upsetting me and is putting me off doing it! Which is hard to explain as things have always been healthy in that department.

Somebody help me please!

Brainstrain :)

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Guest twoshoes

I used to have thoughts that I would call me husband by someone elses name, not just when we are alone together but at any time. Like in the supermarket or out at the pub and then I stop thinking about what I am doing and start having to really concentrate on my husbands name. I had not thought that it may be linked to my OCD but now...Yeah! A fear of doing something inapropriate, that would cause offence without any evidence that this is likely to happen...perfect OCD.

Can't give any thoughts on combatting it. Sorry

take care.

twoshoes

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Guest PrincessJenna

Every day that I am reading here I find more and more things that I can relate to and this is a BIG one. I live in fear of calling my partner by my ex-husbands name. So much so that I have given my partner a nickname that begins with the same sound as my ex-husbands name... just in case. I have worried about it so much, that I think I have done it! Never in the bedroom thank goodness!!

I also get thoughts of other, innapropriate people while in bed with him. Which does just shut me down cold. Not just because of the thought but the fear of "Oh God what if I think of _______" <----- insert one of my many fears here. The thing I find most helpful is if we take a step back, usually I tell him I have moved the wrong way or something is hurting and then we just kiss or cuddle a bit and I give myself time to relax and reassure myself. Reconnect with him and the moment. It helps sometimes, other times we have to just stop or I kind of close my eyes and count until it is over :censored:

Sorry I could not be more helpful... Good luck!

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Guest Brainstrain

Thanks for your replies. I am interested in what you say about the name thing. I get this too and like you, princessjenna, I am paranoid about saying my ex's name. To be honest that is a whole area of fear for me. I get scared if I even remember something me and my ex did or went or anything. If a song comes on that reminds me of something that happened while we were together I get scared and think that by remembering this it must mean something and my OCD starts analysing it.

I had a horrible relationship with my ex and haven't even seen him for over two years and I love my husband so much that it really hurts. One of the problems is that we live in the same house that I shared with the ex. I have tried to dispose of everything that was from that time but if I happen to come across anything that was here when the ex was I get worried that touching it will contaminate our relationship and stuff. Luckily we are moving soon. My brain - OCD - is always trying to find different ways of convincing me I don't really love my husband which is plainly not true and I think this is just another part of that. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!!

Brainstrain :censored:

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Guest patsy

Hi Brainstrain,

As you have told me, it's the OCD that is the problem. It is the same for you!

I know it's hard for you. Quite different to the kind of thoughts I have but equally distressing. Hang in there and I'm sure things will improve, hopefully for us both :censored:

Love Patsy xx

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Hi Brainstrain,

There's not much more that i can add to people's responses, other than to reconfirm that this is the ocd talking, and therefore needs challenging.

To some it may seem that ocdonline are paying me to plug their website, but i truly think the website address i am going to give you (or indeed you may already have) can help. One case study is particularly relevant

http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson1.htm

Hope this helps

Adamx

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