Partner claims that she's cured.

[Guest tiredteddybear]

Hi' I wrote before in the friends and familly board.

My partner has had severe and unremitting OCD for most of our ten year relationship and up until three weeks ago. She was taking 150mil of antidepressents daily and had recently started drinking and acting irresponsibly.

We seperated three weeks ago and she has taken to socialising with other very exciting, socially active, middle aged single parents.

Deciding to remain friends we spoke today and she informed me that she no longer has OCD. She says that she is also cutting down on the antidepressents with a view to comming off them.

Was it me who was causing her problems and my departure that cured them? Or is she still suffering and hiding the symptoms from me aswell?

Confused......Graham

[photog]

hi sorry to hear about your situation i've never heard anything or read anything about carers causing ocd. sufferers of ocd are fantastic liars (not deliberatley but caused by the condition) thats why it is called the hidden ilness. i'm sure youdidn't cause it i must admit after many years i wondered that occaisionally. an outsider can't see ocd so it looks like its you that has the problem. good luck try not to dwell on it try to enjoy YOUR life. if you do care for her i guess you will soon be called upon to pick ip the pieces. :confused1:

[Guest tiredteddybear]

hi sorry to hear about your situation i've never heard anything or read anything about carers causing ocd. sufferers of ocd are fantastic liars (not deliberatley but caused by the condition) thats why it is called the hidden ilness. i'm sure youdidn't cause it i must admit after many years i wondered that occaisionally. an outsider can't see ocd so it looks like its you that has the problem. good luck try not to dwell on it try to enjoy YOUR life. if you do care for her i guess you will soon be called upon to pick ip the pieces. :confused1:

37525[/snapback]

Thanks pal. If it was'nt for people like yourself I would have no one to share with and I think I'd crack up.

[Guest harmony]

Was it me who was causing her problems and my departure that cured them? Or is she still suffering and hiding the symptoms from me aswell?

You have not caused OCD, if that was the case I would of left my partner long ago has I would do anything for her, I wish it was the easy, It's true has partner we can do and say the wrong things (and I ve done my fair share) and can add to stress and anxiety which can add to OCD, but I would say that by removing the things we do that causes stress and anxiety doesn't remove eveything else.

It maybe possiable that she is over OCD, she may be in a good period and it may return, she may not be telling the truth I don't know but don't beat yourself up about, try and stay good friends and I would say that no matter what happens try and move on and seek your own path, if you get back together thats great but maybe its not to be, has painful has it may seem. I would talk to her if you have hopes getting back together and explain your feelings, she may no plans of getting back together with you, maybe she wants to try again but one way or aanother you will know and have time to move on and lick your wounds or plan your future.

sorry its not very useful

Take care

Alan

[Guest tiredteddybear]

Was it me who was causing her problems and my departure that cured them? Or is she still suffering and hiding the symptoms from me aswell?

You have not caused OCD, if that was the case I would of left my partner long ago has I would do anything for her, I wish it was the easy, It's true has partner we can do and say the wrong things (and I ve done my fair share) and can add to stress and anxiety which can add to OCD, but I would say that by removing the things we do that causes stress and anxiety doesn't remove eveything else.

It maybe possiable that she is over OCD, she may be in a good period and it may return, she may not be telling the truth I don't know but don't beat yourself up about, try and stay good friends and I would say that no matter what happens try and move on and seek your own path, if you get back together thats great but maybe its not to be, has painful has it may seem. I would talk to her if you have hopes getting back together and explain your feelings, she may no plans of getting back together with you, maybe she wants to try again but one way or aanother you will know and have time to move on and lick your wounds or plan your future.

sorry its not very useful

Take care

Alan

37529[/snapback]

Thanks Alan,

You do'nt have to be in the army to fight in the war!

Graham

[Guest tiredteddybear]

Hi Graham :confused1:

I am sorry to hear about the separation , but that is positive that you have remained friends .

I certainly do not think that you were causing the problems, or that your departure has cured them. Unfortunately, there is no known "cure" for ocd. However, ocd can be overcome with suitable treatments.

If your partner is drinking in excess whilst on Anti-depressants, it may lead to your partner suffering from more anxiety or she may notice an increase in ocd symptoms.

It may just be the case that she is hiding the symptoms. OCD is also known as the "secret" illness as some people with ocd when experiencing symptoms feel shame or embarrassment and can become experts at trying to hide the ocd behaviour. Some people may also try and hide the behaviour as they are in denial about having ocd.

Did your partner mention whether she had spoken to her doctor about cutting down on the anti-depressants?

Any changes anyone wants to make to their medications whether it be cutting down or coming off them, should be done under medical supervision and a doctor should always be consulted first, before taking any action regarding medication.

Has you partner had any CBT for the ocd? Or any other treatments for it?

Is it possible you can have a chat with your partner, and express your concerns to her?

Please feel free to post anytime

Take care.

Love Kirstiexx

37532[/snapback]

Thanks Kirstie,

Only medical help she has had so far is antidepressants & two hours councilling in over a year. I bought her the book brain lock but I don't know if she read it.

GRAHAM

[Guest harmony]

Thanks Alan,

You do'nt have to be in the army to fight in the war!

Graham

I agree but we all have limits, we can only fight if we are able,I mean send a solider to war without a gun and he is dead in the water, and we can only win if we are united if we are fighting the same side. I am not saying give up, I am not saying stay but remember this if we pull in different directions we will get nowhere fast. I would say talk openly with your partner about how you feel and how you feel about them, that you want to help that you love them, you can do nothing more other than being there for them.

Take care

[Caramoole]

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup, it must have been very difficult to arrive at that decision after so long.

As for the OCD 'going', who knows, it may be in remission but I doubt it, it's probably her way of putting on a brave face to you and the World. Then again, it may have given her the jolt she needed to look at her problems but I doubt it's gone.

You certainly shouldn't take on blame or worry that you were the cause, OCD is a nero-biological disorder.

Take a bit of time to get your own thoughts back in order and find your feet. You're suffering from a break up too. Stay friends if it's possible and when she's ready for help maybe you can lend that support, standing a step or two removed for the moment.

Good Luck and remember to take care of yourself, you've been sharing this problem for a long time.

[Guest tiredteddybear]

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup, it must have been very difficult to arrive at that decision after so long.

As for the OCD 'going', who knows, it may be in remission but I doubt it, it's probably her way of putting on a brave face to you and the World.  Then again, it may have given her the jolt she needed to look at her problems but I doubt it's gone.

You certainly shouldn't take on blame or worry that you were the cause, OCD is a nero-biological disorder.

Take a bit of time to get your own thoughts back in order and find your feet.  You're suffering from a break up too.  Stay friends if it's possible and when she's ready for help maybe you can lend that support, standing a step or two removed for the moment.

Good Luck and remember to take care of yourself, you've been sharing this problem for a long time.

37565[/snapback]

I love her, I adore her, I worship the ground that she walks on. The only help that she has had has come from me. you have got to meet her to understand how wonderfull she is. Thing that U dont know is that I have MS. Depend on the NHS? Thier is no NHS. Only a bunch of ******* looking after themselves. I'm ****** G'nite.... Graham

[Guest tiredteddybear]

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup, it must have been very difficult to arrive at that decision after so long.

As for the OCD 'going', who knows, it may be in remission but I doubt it, it's probably her way of putting on a brave face to you and the World.  Then again, it may have given her the jolt she needed to look at her problems but I doubt it's gone.

You certainly shouldn't take on blame or worry that you were the cause, OCD is a nero-biological disorder.

Take a bit of time to get your own thoughts back in order and find your feet.  You're suffering from a break up too.  Stay friends if it's possible and when she's ready for help maybe you can lend that support, standing a step or two removed for the moment.

Good Luck and remember to take care of yourself, you've been sharing this problem for a long time.

37565[/snapback]

I love her, I adore her, I worship the ground that she walks on. The only help that she has had has come from me. you have got to meet her to understand how wonderfull she is. Thing that U dont know is that I have MS. Depend on the NHS? Thier is no NHS. Only a bunch of ******* looking after themselves. I'm ****** G'nite.... Graham

37572[/snapback]

Sorry about the above from last night! Went to the pub last night & got blotto on the strength of what's been happening the last few weeks. Feelin' sorry for myself I suppose, Sorry.

..........Graham

[Caramoole]

Hi Graham :dry:

Don't worry about it, we all need to get this stuff off our chests...rant away, we've all been there, it's good to have a blow out. Just hope the head wasn't too bad this morning :bangin:

You don't need to convince me she's wonderful, I'm sure she is, that's why you've been together all these years and want everything to be okay. Sometimes though you do need to stand back, to give you the space and maybe to give them the jolt it needs to look at things again. Maybe, you might find a time when you can get back together. As I've said, stay friends, see each other and you still can help her but she needs to face that she has a problem to be able to move on.

I'm sorry to hear about the MS, that's a fair old lot with you to cope with anyway. Maybe it's a cynical view but I tend to agree with you about the NHS.

I hope things turn round for you Graham and no apology necessary, pretty broad shouders you know

Take Care

Caramoole :lol:

[photog]

Sorry about the above from last night! Went to the pub last night & got blotto on the strength of what's been happening the last few weeks. Feelin' sorry for myself I suppose, Sorry.

..........Graham

37621[/snapback]

A CPN once advised me to do that not on a regular basis but at times you do need to block it all out. ed