strange thoughts

[Guest summerleft]

Morning all

As most know ive been u pand down with my ocd but on the whole a hell of alot better since i started CBT etc

When i started cbt i realsied how much of my life was due to ocd and how much it took over.

The thing is this morning id booked a horse riding morning and was ll excited and looking forward to it.

Then as it got nearer i started thinking do i really want to do this, no i dont like it as much as i used to.

Then got a feeling that i wouldnt enjoy it it was cold and wet( never stopped me before) and that is wasnt a good idea so i drove home

then i got there and felt so much better i thoguht hang on is this ocd so drove back to the yard again but drove past it!

stopped for a while by this time it was past 10 am when i should be there.

In the end i decided to go home as id convinced myself that it wasnt what i wanted and that i didnt want to make any friends in the area ive moved and i was happy without :dry:

I dont know i think it was ocd but this is weird it didnt feel like it and im worried shes trying a new tac

Now im not sure wether i wished id gone or not

My partner is worrying me a little as his new job will take him to hotels a fair amount and as i know no one here, hes worried tht i will be stressed if alone

but at the same time i feel it annoys him somewhat as i know he has to do his job but..... lol

Part of me thinks oh get on with it everyone else manages but i know how i react in situations and im not sure im ready to be that far away from everyone i know leaving me little options

ohhhhhhhhhh pah!

shutting up now

[whitebeam]

Hi summer,

Sorry to hear about your trip out horse-riding. Maybe you'll make it next time and then it will be easier for the next times that you feel like going.

I know it can be difficult moving to a new area. When I moved I found it hard as I didn't know anyone.......working changed that - I met loads of new people. Then I was unable to work and things got really bad; it suited me not to know anyone as then no-one would come to my house (which I was scared of) but gradually I have met new people....through an OCD support group, as a member of a team put together by my psychologist to provide support for each other - I have made a really good friend and life has been a lot happier as I guess I was lonely too.

It's a shame your partner has to go away for work.....I used to quite enjoy these types of break....it gave me some 'me' time without feeling guilty that I wasn't doing anything (housework-wise). Hopefully you'll find a way of lessening the anxiety when he is away.

Any time you want to talk to someone though, there's usually someone on here to listen and so on.

Take care

whitebeam

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hi Summer

I definately think it's your OCD trying to find a new way of getting you and it's probably because you are feeling vulnerable having moved etc. Maybe you should consider going to the forum night out in London and meeting up with people you've already been chatting to on here - I am right in thinking you have moved down south aren't I? Try not to worry about your partner worrying about you, that's his job, if it was the other way around I'm sure you would feel the same about him so don't feel guilty.

Keep Smiling

Brainstrain