OCD???? Night Time Fears

[Hurting]

Hiya Guys,

Since I started planning my holiday this year I have been having a good bash at beating my OCD. I know I wouldn't be able to get on a plane with it so I have started to push OCD out of my life. It's hard but I'm on a mission. Plus, while I'm in a happy mood, it doesn't seem such an impossible task.

Well, things are still going well, during the day, (I have got my showers down to 25 mins and I don't check my doors as much as before, still needs work but I sure it will in time) but, and I don't know whether this is OCD or just a fear/phobia, at night time I get pictures in my mind which I can't shift.

I HOPE THIS ISN'T A TRIGGER FOR ANYONE

I am sure that there are people, who are going to kill me, standing behind me as I wash my teeth, or walking upstairs etc...... Even in the bathroom, because we have had to take the side off the bath for plumbing, I think something is going to come out from under the bath.

I get these faces in my head of like ones you see in a movie, for example:

The last few nights I keep imagining a young girl with long, messy, dark hair standing behind me.

When I close my eyes I see them and I'm scared to close my eyes to go to sleep. I can't even go to sleep unless I leave a light on.

I shake all over and I am scared stiff. Sometimes I can't lie down or move incase I miss them coming into my room. I have to be able to see everything all the time.

Even wierder; I can hear the jumpy music and screams in my head.

It only happens at night and when I'm alone in the house.

Is it just my imagination running wild or is there someway I can stop it?

The thing is I have only watched one horror movie and nothing with what I imagine in them.

I'm absolutly shattered all the time because I force myself to stay awake. I always put music on at night otherwise I concentrate on 'creaks' and other noises until I go crazy.

Thanx for listening.

Love

Gayle

xoxox

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hi

Actually this was one of my first memorable OCD symptoms dating back to when I was about 6 or 7. I would be petrified that someone was going to climb up the drain pipe, break in my window and kidnap me, my mum despaired because she just didn't know what to do with me! These days I still have these types of images and I am constantly scared that someone is coming to kill me. Sometimes it's not so bad but other times at night if I have to go to the loo or out to the kitchen to get a drink I feel like there is someone behind me so sometimes I even have to walk with my back to the wall so that I can see and it is a very real fear! I also have to have the radio on at night and have done for about the past 15 years!

Sometimes I lay in bed and actually end up resigning myself to the fact that it's a certainty that someone is going to come in and stab me and my husband, so much so that I still remember this in the morning and feel a great sense of relief that I am still alive!

Good Luck!

Brainstrain

[Guest Marcus]

Hiya Rustle,

OCD always manages to find the things that are most frightening. I have noticed that mine changes over-time so once I am used to one set of obsessions I have them about something different.

Your latest thoughts do sound very OCD-ish. I have found that if i listen to the thoughts and don't try to do anything about them, its a lot less stressful and hopefully ultimately they will get bored and go away. When the thoughts come you can acknowledge them and perhaps try and do something that will take your mind off them - even if its so simple as to stroking the cat (if you have one) or tidying up. I know its very very frightening.

Good luck

[Guest Deb]

Hi Gayle,

My son suffers a lot at night too. He either can't get something out of his head or wakes with frightening dreams. He gets scared quite a lot and one of his most recent fears is that someone will hurt him. It used to be that something would happen to me so he used to wake me up all the time, checking that I was still ok.

I guess when theres less activity at night these thoughts can run riot. Try keeping yourself occupied with something else. I let my son watch TV untill he falls asleep. It's always "friends" videos. Watches them time and time again. Thank god for friends!

Don't know what else to suggest, you just hang on in there. Your a woman on a mission remember? You can get through this.

Debx

[Guest Brainstrain]

Hi Gayle,

My son suffers a lot at night too. He either can't get something out of his head or wakes with frightening dreams. He gets scared quite a lot and one of his most recent fears is that someone will hurt him. It used to be that something would happen to me so he used to wake me up all the time, checking that I was still ok.

I guess when theres less activity at night these thoughts can run riot. Try keeping yourself occupied with something else. I let my son watch TV untill he falls asleep. It's always "friends" videos. Watches them time and time again. Thank god for friends!

Don't know what else to suggest, you just hang on in there. Your a woman on a mission remember? You can get through this.

Debx

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Hi Deb

When I'm having a bad time I watch endless 'Friends' DVD's too! I think it is because it's light hearted and plus I am so familiar with it there aren't many things that can trigger thoughts for me in it I suppose! I thank god for Friends too!!!

Brainstrain

[Guest Dragonfruit]

I am sure that there are people, who are going to kill me, standing behind me as I wash my teeth, or walking upstairs etc...... Even in the bathroom, because we have had to take the side off the bath for plumbing, I think something is going to come out from under the bath.

When I close my eyes I see them and I'm scared to close my eyes to go to sleep. I can't even go to sleep unless I leave a light on.

Sometimes I can't lie down or move incase I miss them coming into my room. I have to be able to see everything all the time.

Even wierder; I can hear the jumpy music and screams in my head.

38122[/snapback]

Hi Gayle

I'm so glad you posted that - I just always thought I was just the biggest scaredy-cat ever!

If I ever shower in the evening - after dark would be a better description - my fiance has to come into the bathroom with me to keep me company cos I'm too scared to go on my own (happened again last night). As soon as I get behind that curtain I'm convinced there are people there and as soon as I close my eyes to wash my hair I'm terrified and see images of people lurking - it once took me 15 mins to open my eyes in the shower cos I was so scared.

I can't hoover or anything like that if I'm alone in the house, in case I "miss" a sound which would alert me to an intruder and I used to have to check every conceivable hiding place in the house when I got home to ensure no-one was waiting to jump out at me.

At night I used to be convinced that shapes in my room were people and would have to turn the light on to check - it was always something stupid like a washing basket or a pile of towels on the blanket box or something - and I knew that it would be - but I still needed to check.

It drove me (and my fiance) mad.

It's so horrible because even though the fear is only imagined fear it is really scary.

Wish I could offer you some help on this one - but I'm still not sure how todeal with it myself.

You're not alone though

[Guest antonia]

I do exactly the same thing. It started when I was a kid, when I was told our house was built on an old Roman burial ground. I used to lay in bed at night, eyes so tightly shut it hurt, hiding under the covers and utterly CONVINCED the room was full of ghosts who wanted to kill me.

When I'm alone, I never look out of windows as I have a huge fear of looking out of a window and seeing someone - murderer/rapist etc - looking back at me.

I never associated it as part of OCD, I just thought I was bizarre! Thanks for that

[Hurting]

These days I still have these types of images and I am constantly scared that someone is coming to kill me. Sometimes it's not so bad but other times at night if I have to go to the loo or out to the kitchen to get a drink I feel like there is someone behind me so sometimes I even have to walk with my back to the wall so that I can see and it is a very real fear! 

38141[/snapback]

That's exactly how I feel sometimes. I think that is where my problems checking come from because I make sure that once I shut my door (and check that it is shut so they can't get in) I don't have to leave until morning.

As soon as I get behind that curtain I'm convinced there are people there and as soon as I close my eyes to wash my hair I'm terrified and see images of people lurking - it once took me 15 mins to open my eyes in the shower cos I was so scared.

I can't hoover or anything like that if I'm alone in the house, in case I "miss" a sound which would alert me to an intruder and I used to have to check every conceivable hiding place in the house when I got home to ensure no-one was waiting to jump out at me.

38155[/snapback]

When I shower I'm like that, so I only shower in a morning. It's a pain if I get 'contaminated' during the day and have to shower again though. I'm on edge as soon as I shut the curtain (I have even tried not shutting the curtain but then I feel I am not clean) but the worst bit is when I have to open the door. I am sure that someone is standing the other side.

I can't even sleep on a pillow now because I think 'pins' or 'poison' is on them. My Mom is sick and tierd of washing my pillows, pillow cases and sheets. Sometimes I have wrapped myself in my dressing-gown, put my thick PJs on and slept on top of the matress.

When I'm alone, I never look out of windows as I have a huge fear of looking out of a window and seeing someone - murderer/rapist etc - looking back at me.

38176[/snapback]

Ditto!!!! Wow I thought it was just me. I leave my blinds and windows shut constently. One of my windows is above a porce so I am convinced that they could climb in and rape me or kill me.

It's horrible because all my thoughts contradict each other. I can not sleep unless a lights on but when I do I think that a fire will start or that the rapist/murderer will see the light and come in, or they are hiding somewhere but I can't rest until I check even though I am putting myself in danger. My parents room door is always open and at night all you can see are the shadows in the darkness, I am convinced that someone will shot me as I open my bedroom door (which is opposite). :2guns: Even as I check my door when I'm inside I think the bullet will come through.

I have had to arrange my bedroom in such a way that I can see my door, that I can not get shot from a window, that my furniture won't fall and kill me in an earthquake and that there are no electrical appliances near or turned on which will start a fire.

Although my hands aren't hurting as much as usual I wish that I didn't have the thoughts and had just stayed with my washing and checking. What a mess I'm in.

Thank you for replying guys. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

Love

Gayle

xoxox

[Guest kirk27]

Hi Gayle,

Sad to hear that you are haveing these thoughts.. especialy as its bedtime

For me haveing the Radio on low works to get me off to sleep,all the suggestions

on this topic sound good, I try to have something stimulating on the radio this will

distract from what your mind is forcing upon you, because you are stimulated for a while you are bound to feel tired, The bbc radio collection have some great shows on tape, theres nothing like falling asleep to something cheap and cheerful ..........and FUNNY

all the best

[Hurting]

Thanx for replying guys,

I have some tapes which I am trying although it's hard to stop the thoughts I have had a couple of slightly better nights since trying that.

Love

Gayle

xoxox

[Guest kirk27]

Well thats a grleat start! obviously the thoughts will be around for a while (i am sure things will be ok) so carry on

kirkxx