dont want to feel guilty on my wedding day

[Guest millie moon]

Hi everyone,

I've suffered from pure o for a while now but recently it's got worse again. I'm getting married next month so not sure if wedding stress has something to do with it. Basically i've been having distressing thoughts which make me convince myself I'm a bad person. The other day a thought came in my head that if my mom wasn't so opinionated then I might not be anxious. I've now been feeling really guilty for days because I love my mom to bits and she sacrificed so much to give me and my brother a good life. I feel bad because in my head I've blamed her for giving me a mental illness. In some ways I think I believe the thought and it makes me feel sick. Normally I speak to my mom to get reassurance and then the obsession goes away but I cant do this this time. Is this just the ocd making me think I'm a horrible person? i want to walk down the aisle feeling happy but I dont know how to feel better and feel like I deserve to be happy. I feel like I've done something wrong all the time.

x

[Guest hope*]

Hi everyone,

I've suffered from pure o for a while now but recently it's got worse again. I'm getting married next month so not sure if wedding stress has something to do with it. Basically i've been having distressing thoughts which make me convince myself I'm a bad person. The other day a thought came in my head that if my mom wasn't so opinionated then I might not be anxious. I've now been feeling really guilty for days because I love my mom to bits and she sacrificed so much to give me and my brother a good life. I feel bad because in my head I've blamed her for giving me a mental illness. In some ways I think I believe the thought and it makes me feel sick. Normally I speak to my mom to get reassurance and then the obsession goes away but I cant do this this time. Is this just the ocd making me think I'm a horrible person? i want to walk down the aisle feeling happy but I dont know how to feel better and feel like I deserve to be happy. I feel like I've done something wrong all the time.

x

Your mam is prob driving you mad over the wedding arrangements and being fussy about them? My mam drove me mad at that time too. I feel guilty alot re being critical about my Mam, she drives me mad and irritates me so much at times. My Dad can do no wrong. But I love her so much and she has sacrified so much too for us all, more so than my Dad really. She so rubs me up the wrong way at times. Many of my family think its down to her, why we lack confidence and she is very negative too, which can be annoying.

I try not to feel guilty and say, look I'm not going there, I love her and I really can't help it if I feel this way about her. So I do what you are supposed to do with all ocd thoughts, let them be there without feeling too guilty, not engage in it or analyse it, and move into the present moment. Hope that makes sense.

This will pass soon and you will have a fantastic wedding and dont feel guilty about thinking that way about your Mam.

:hug:

[fefee]

Your mam is prob driving you mad over the wedding arrangements and being fussy about them? My mam drove me mad at that time too. I feel guilty alot re being critical about my Mam, she drives me mad and irritates me so much at times. My Dad can do no wrong. But I love her so much and she has sacrified so much too for us all, more so than my Dad really. She so rubs me up the wrong way at times. Many of my family think its down to her, why we lack confidence and she is very negative too, which can be annoying.

I try not to feel guilty and say, look I'm not going there, I love her and I really can't help it if I feel this way about her. So I do what you are supposed to do with all ocd thoughts, let them be there without feeling too guilty, not engage in it or analyse it, and move into the present moment. Hope that makes sense.

This will pass soon and you will have a fantastic wedding and dont feel guilty about thinking that way about your Mam.

:hug:

yes you deserve to enjoy your wedding. it normal to have those thoughts about are mums we al do ,so dont feel guilty.

[Guest summerleft]

i found before my wedding was difficult as already said others stressing, you stressing etc, the actual day I dint have much trouble at all until the evening when tired, because so much was going on, Id suggest taking lots of you time when you can relax and do some nice things and I bet yuor day will be wonderful and you will enjoy it

[Guest millie moon]

Thanks everyone. It's made me feel so guilty thinking that my mom has in some way contributed to be being anxious because I love her to bits and she'll be helping so much on our wedding day i'm scared i'll just feel guilty on the day. I think I've definitly given too much weight to the thought and I'm trying to move on. It doesn't matter how much reassurance I get there is always a 'what if' and 'yeah but' to counteract it. bloody ocd x

[Guest hope*]

Maybe think about it this way:

Yes, she has contributed to me being more anxious, but so what!!! Agree with the thought and say yeah, fine, yes I am anxious because my mam made me be that way. Yes I do feel guilty because I am thinking like this about my mam, but I cannot help the way I feel. I love my mam but it is ok to think like this about her.

Good luck and take care and happy wedding preps! concentrate on enjoying the lead up if you can as the day itself will fly byxx

[Guest millie moon]

thanks hope, will definitly give that a try. xxxx