newly qualified teacher hell...

[Guest IrishOCDLady]

hey all - i hope everyone is keeping good...

its been so long since I have been on here - because i was doing pretty good... but i have just qualified as a teacher and moved back to ireland. the job situation is stressful enough - but i landed a substitute position at a big town school - and my ocd about not being good enough/being able to cope/am i doing the job right/what do the other staff think of me... have been going on over-drive.

****PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME REASSURANCE****

i know that is what i am craving but i want to beat this on my own! i have been working there 2 weeks and been going on 3-4 hours sleep a night as my head is racing and i cant seem to switch off the thoughts that i didnt so such and such or that i must do x-y-z tomorrow...

i have gone back to my cbt methods of meditation to see if that will help as i am so tired that i am now really not that good in the classroom as im so tired that my energy is not in it!

Without telling me everything is going to be ok --- (as I know it obviously wont and that they all hate me, think im no good at the job and wonder what uni i bought my qualification from... that i have not taught the kids anything... blah blah blah (joke!!!) ) --- does anyone have any good tips on where to go or what to do with this?!

thanks

[Guest Elle Belle]

Hey Irish,

I could have written that post myself. Teaching is hard enough without OCD isn't it? I have two things to say. I promise neither are reassurance:

i) Accept the possibility that you are/might be rubbish at your job. Just allow the possibility to exist. (And if in/when 1 or 5 or 15 years time when you're not an NQT, and you're experienced, you will see that now by comparison you are not as good as you WILL BE. Mistakes etc. are an inevitability whatever stage you're at. Accept them, learn from them, but don't be destroyed by them, especially not the ones you haven't even made yet.)

ii) I've found that everybody is wrapped up in their own mistakes, worries, demands, problems. I make shed loads of mistakes every day (I think) and nobody but me seems to give a damn!

Just be yourself.

Me, I've got a lesson to plan and a scheme of work to reinvent and five individual learning plans to fill in and an LDD learner who I can't work out how to cater for and a splitting headache. Let's be friends! You're not alone.

See, no reassurance!

Elle

xxxxx

Edited October 12, 2011 by Elle Belle

[Guest akkers1]

I work at a school but am not a teacher. Mainly librarian work and teacher aiding. School's are busy, busy places with all sorts of things happening all the time. Just take baby steps.

No-one will be expecting wonders, it is all a great learning curve. Everything will slot into its place and you will feel a lot less stressed when you have had a good chance to settle in.

I'm trying not to reassure you - just asking you to be realistic!!!!

[Guest nic]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well I can tell you one thing, the perfect teacher does not exist! Experienced teachers have exactly the same thoughts as you, even ones without OCD. When you get to my age, you realise that you can only try your best, that noone is perfect, and you are more accepting when things go wrong. I guess you learn to prioritise what is worth worrying about. It is so easy to analyse everything you do or say with the children, and go everything again and again, did that child gain anything from that lesson, did i deal with that situation correctly etc etc. The truth is , as a teacher , you have to make quick decisions hundreds of times a day, they can't all be the right ones. I still have no confidence in myself whatsoever, and am quite a maverick really, but as long as the kids are happy and learning that'll do me! Get some rest in the evenings , and rest assured the re4st of us insane people who went into teaching struggle on from day to day too! love nic xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Guest Elle Belle]

I just taught the worst lesson ever. And got observed!

xx

[carolj]

All those things just seem to be part of being a teacher. My daughter doesnt have OCD and woke up at 5.30 yesterday morning and thought OMG I havent planned today's assembly!

What age does everyone teach?

Welcome back Irishlady, it seems only yesterday you were starting the course!

[tigershark]

Irish OCD Lady! First of all congrats on getting through your teaching course!

Teaching is a tough profession. As a teacher, you are expected to teach, model good behaviour, motivate, correct & discipline the kids, deal with parents, Boards of Management, other teachers, the Principal etc etc,... It is a very public...multi-faceted energy draining job.

If you have a supportive Principal, nice kids & parents...you can have a smooth & successful year.

However if your Principal is unsupportive & your kids are disruptive and difficult & parents critical..it can be really tough. It is important to take one day at a time and be your own best friend. You can beat yourself up over mistakes, but this will not help you in any way.

As a new teacher, mistakes inevitably will happen, but all you can do is learn from them. Also sometimes what we consider to be mistakes are not..we can have black and white thinking...we can exaggerate the negatives and completely ignore all the positive and good things we do.

I have worked as a teacher for the last 5 years. I have enjoyed it but found it very tough. I have generalised anxiety & ocd ...I get unwanted obessive thoughts about the kids I teach;this really upsets me & gets me town at times.

But I try to be my best friend and hang in there!

I wish you the best of luck with your job.

You can apply cbt techniques to your negative thoughts.

1. Describe the situation.

2. describe the thought

3. How did you feel after these negative thoughts.

4. Come up with alternative outlooks to your negative thoughts:

-Maybe the staff like me.

-maybe they actually dont think about me too much

-maybe they would really sympathise with me if I talked about my negtive thoughts.

-maybe they are thinking the same themselves about themselves!

5. How do you fee now.

When you write your thoughts down..we can stand back and look at them.

I would also recommend plenty of rest...exercise and mindfulness meditation!

Hope this helps!

Tiger