i am scared now

[joanne123]

Hi everyone i am sorry to have to post this but i am scared i am going downhill and i just feel powerless to stop it. Today i have been really down and i am feeling like i can`t go to any of my or my husbands familys houses cos they are dirty somewhere.and there are places that worry me too much and i got really upset today when i didn`t feel i could go to my nans cos i think the door is dirty. I don`t know what i`gonna do i tried talking to my husband but he just said i`m lucky he doesn`t have a go at me for not trying harder and now i don`t know how to get through this i just feel so tired of it xx

[Guest KateandIvy12]

Ocd makes us feel powerless the best bit of advice I can give you is we all suffer here... Ignore your husband he doesn't understand what OCD is like and is lucky not to... I wish people who say things like that could experience a day of ahving OCD and see how horrible it is and how it can ruin your life..

[Guest leinad1988]

I know it's hard but try not to let your OCD stop you from doing things or going places, the risk is that by not going to your nans, you are positively reinforcing yourself not to go as by not going you don't experience as much anxiety. I hope you find the strength to overcome this problem

[SaraJane]

Hi Joanne

Ocd can wax and wane and a really bad day is, at least in my experience, usual for ocd. Even a few bad days in a row doesn't necessarily mean a full relapse. It's hell to go through and some days it's just a case of surviving through them and hoping for a better day the next day. Overall, you are doing really well and I've been really impressed and inspired by your progress. I've ventured into the supermarket thinking of you - you went to the supermarket t and posted about it and it inspired me to try the same. You've achieved these things whilst being pregnant and all the changes of medication that has brought with it. I'd say looking at the bigger picture you've been doing fantastic and a bad day or few days doesn't take anything away from those achievements. I'm sorry you didn't get the support you needed at home - I agree with KateandIvy12 - it is hard for a non-sufferer to really feel and understand what a horrible illness ocd is.

Sending love

Sara x

[joanne123]

Thankyou for your replies. Kateandivy12 your right about non sufferers not being able to understand.

Leinad 1988 i know your right if i don`t try i am feeding the ocd

sara thankyou i hope it is just a day or a few days and i am not having a full relapse xx

[Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze]

Hi Joanne,

((((hugs))))

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment. Try to ignore your husband's comment - he is lucky enough not to have OCD, so he doesn't understand what it's like!

It is so exhausting, isn't it? You are doing very well coping with OCD whilst being pregnant and looking after your little girl as well.

Do you feel able to try CBT again? xxx

[joanne123]

Hi lost in a dark maze and thankyou. I don`t know if i feel upto cbt yet but i do want to try it again when i have had the baby xx

[Guest Snooker]

I know only to well just how this condition can get a hold of you and make you feel, and even stop us doing ordinary basic things as well, and that's why I think it is one of the worst conditions to have

I am not sure if this will help but as an ocd sufferer myself I can look at your issue and see that everything will be fine, because "your ocd" is making this matter 100 times at least worse than it actually is in reality, all of us with ocd want to live in a perfect bubble where everything is guranteed to be 100% perfect and safe and that nothing bad what so ever will happen to ourselves or others and that we can do exactly what we want, or in another way what we are saying is that we of course don't want this horrible and horrendous ocd condition, but we don't live in a 100% perfect world and what we need to remember is that all of us are taking chances all the time, but those with out ocd do not even notice it, so the issue you currently have is not a real issue as I am sure you know, it is an "ocd issue" which you think is real, the human body and life has been designed to allow for the fact that things in this life are not perfect and that no harm or anything bad will happen in normal everyday life situations, if we all died because of having a cold there would be nobody left !

Please don't get me wrong I have been struggling really bad this last 3 month's and still having problems now, it's just we all need to take more chances I think especially myself and I know only too well just how very very hard that is to do, because of our in built ocd rules and stuff etc which we do to try and get rid of the anxiety etc, but again we need to remember that nothing is 100% perfect and the chances of anything bad happening are in fact probably just the same as any of us say getting accidentally run over etc etc, its just we ocd sufferers feel we need 100% certainty not 99.99999999999999999999999999999999 ........etc% which is the equivalent of perfect in this life, I hope this helps and I have explained myself clear enough, its funny you can be an ocd sufferer and look at another ocd persons issues and not worry about them at all just our own, but its all the same ocd stuff really with lot's of different themes

[joanne123]

Hi snooker that does make sense and i know your right i just hope i can take the chance of seeing nothing will happen thankyou very much xx

[Guest FobicFairy]

Just wanted to say hang on in there Joanne, this will pass again in time. I hope you can get the oommph to kick OCD ass when the new baby comes.

FF x

[joanne123]

Thanks ff i hope so too xx

[Guest Annabel]

Aww Joanne! you've been doing amazingly with exposure work (going to your Nan's) alongside looking after a toddler and being pregnant. Most contamination-OCDers would struggle in those dirty environments.

Maybe you're just having a bit of a blip, it could even be to do with hormones (I think my OCD gets worse with PMS).

I hope you're okay tomorrow xxx

Edited March 16, 2012 by Annabel

[joanne123]

Thanks annabel xx

[Guest PaulM]

Hi joanne,

Sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. I've found the more I focus on getting rid of OCD the worse it has been feeling much of the time. I hope that's the big mess that happens before the epiphany but my optimism wandered off long ago. Strangely the pressure to get better seems to be having the opposite effect and it's difficult to curb at times. It's making me depressed.

I hope you are feeling better soon.

Paul

[Tulsas]

dont be scared Joanne....thats ocd's main weapon...This is a blip...bet theres many of times you (and others, me included) think your going downhill and the ocd is getting worse only for it to be a blip....

it WILL pass

[Guest LucyS]

Joanne, I had a huge blip last weekend, so much so I couldn't face doing anything and could feel the need for staying housebound again. It passed, I forced myself out of the house and refused to think of it as going backwards or it being a sign of the ocd getting stronger, just tried to stay positive and think of it as a blip. It started on the Friday and by the Tuesday I was much stronger and more positive. Keep focused, you're doing brilliantly and in a few days it will feel better. I'm pregnant with a toddler too, it's bloody difficult balancing motherhood with ocd and hormones, give yourself the credit you deserve xxx

[joanne123]

Thankyou everyone for your support your all great i hope this passes soon and i have better news for you all thanks again xx

[Guest fayeray]

Hey Joanne, How you feeling now? Could be your hormones too, that can make you feel down at times, it did when I was pregnant. I had a bad week last week but now feeling a little better, sure it will pass... keep up the good work, even peeps without OCD have bad low days. x

[Guest Stressedout]

It's an overwhelming disorder.... We all understand that and you are amazing to be a parent and cope with the OCD. Please forgive me for saying I really don't think that was a fair thing our husband said... But we all come across non sufferers who can't understand the burning and sickening worries and anxiety xxx I hope you are ok and this is just a tough day xxx take care xx

[Guest chocolatefudge]

Hi Joanne, just want you to know I understand exactly how you feel! I am currently pregnant and have a toddler as well and I am finding contamination issues simply overwhelming! Pregnancy hormones mixed with OCD is not a great combination..

I am probably not much help but I just want you to know that you are NOT alone and that i am thinking of you and hope that you feel better really soon.

Take care and best wishes to you.

[joanne123]

Hi and thankyou very much for your support. Good luck to you too xx