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My son's 1st birthday... please help


Guest fayeray

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Guest fayeray

Hi Guys, Im really stressed out, ideas would be really appreciated,

My OCD is severe and im struggling with what to do for his birthday, family and friends dont quite understand this massive challange im faced with, I have to fit in 14 people fit in seeing my son over the weekend. I have contimination OCD.

I have being setting myself small challanges but this is huge, im really anxious and upset about it.

I know its his birthday but this feels way too much for me, I feel I cant be honest with people to the extent of how bad I am feeling with the OCD.. I cant go into pubs or have lots of people in my house, I know exposure is good but all at once... im dreading it.

How will I cope, I not good with any social sitautions atm. :(

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Guest owane1

Hiya, I have been there, and know just what you are going through.

Is there not a place where you feel safe with your little boy, like a play centre or a park - and you could ask people to meet you there, make a little 'party' of it, then you have your home to go to without wondering if anyone has messed with anything or used your loo or whatever? x

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Guest fayeray

Thanks for your reply. Its so hard isnt it? Was thinking a park as its outside and not an enclosed space but thats weather permitted and not sure everyone meeting all at once is a good idea. Im just dreading it, i feel so awful and feel guilty :( x

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First of all you should remember however much you would like him to, your son will never remember his 1st Birthday. At this age, this is really about the adults celebrating, so dont feel guilty. My granddaughter was 1 last November and yes she had a lovely day, but for her it was no different to any other.

Its great that you have been setting yourself small challenges and there must be a way you break this down into smaller challenges, rather than one big one. Could you invite immediate family to your house and meet other people at the park? How does Daddy feel, have you talked to him about it?

Carol x

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Guest fayeray

Thankyou Carol, thats made me feel a bit better about it, I guess you are right... he wont remember it.

Daddy is ok to do whatever im comfy with, its the pressures of everyone else, phone calls and texts asking about his birthday wanting to see him and I just want to please everyone and its getting all too much for me. I do like the idea of the park, I just need a plan B if the weather is bad.

I just want it over and done with, is that awful to say? I am happy setting myself small changes and have been doing quite well but this seems like the hardest challenge ever. :( x

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Carol is right hun, I made such a huge deal out of my first child's birthday, when we look at the pictures now she says "why were there so many there?" The answer is really for the grown-ups, don't get me wrong, she had a Lovely day! But she would of had a Lovely day if there had only been 3 or 4 of us there. It's what you do together, not how many are there hun xxx

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Guest fayeray

Thanks very much for your time replying, you are right he wont understand and he will have a lovely day whatever.

Just hope that it isnt too stressful and I cant cope with it all.. as I don't have a choice they are his family and have gifts so I have to fit them all in, I just wish I could say 30 mins each.

Thanks.

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Guest fayeray

Yes I might have to say something on them lines, I think it will send me over the edge fitting them all in for hours, as long as he gets to see them all to receive his gifts that will have to be enough this year, hopefully I will be lots better with treatment next year and make up for it. x

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