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New Baby, OCD horrific, Husband wants divorce


Guest heatherm

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Guest heatherm

Hi. Not sure how to begin this... so.... in short = baby number 2 now 9 weeks old, already have a 2 year old.. stress levels high due to general lack of sleep & mothering duties resulting in OCD being awful resulting in husband cannot live with it anymore resulting in possible separation/divorce. In the past I have been on medication and had CBT. Both did nothing for me. As I have suffered with OCD for such a long time (since childhood) I am unsure if I am treatable or if my routines/ways are engrained into me...... Obsessions = cleaning house (I have a thing about body hair & dust) things must be in order and arranged to perfection before leaving the house. OCD is killing my life and my family. HELP?

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I'm honestly not surprised that your OCD is going through the roof. This is clearly a very stressful time for you and you sound like you could do with some extra support. Have you spoken to your doctor? This is clearly a big change in your life that you need to adapt to and you don't have to do it alone.

C x

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Guest heatherm

Hello. Thanks for response. No I havent spoken with my Dr.. sometimes I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall with the help available... I have spent hours and hours with various therapists who go over the same type of material... I find myself just being 'polite' and agreeing with them! I cannot take medication as I am feeding my baby myself. I just get desperate at times and feel like a complete freak... madness!

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Sweetheart, you are NOT a freak. I think we've all felt like that at some point or another, but you're not. You're someone who's dealing with a problem and is trying to keep her family together. It sounds like you're not getting the support you need though; I wonder, if you spoke to the moderators, or checked around the website, you might be able to find something useful here? Just a suggestion. In any case, keep writing, keep talking and don't be afraid to say what you feel.

Also, I personally wonder if therapists are the right course of action. Of course, everyone is different, but for you I wonder if it might be better to have someone to help go deeper with you. I don't know the ins and outs of your sessions, so can't comment further than that, but it sounds like you really need to get some stuff off your chest to someone who knows what they're doing.

C xxx

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Guest heatherm

Thank you. I find reading other peoples posts on here comforting.. like it's not just me with these strange thoughts/feelings. I often ask 'why' I have this as all my friends and relatives seem so normal and nothing like me. Its like I am so highly strung and strive for perfection.... and if it isnt.. OCD begins. My therapists all just said the same thing... like they printed off a leaflet/booklet ad recited it to me. I got sick of drawing a bloody circle of how OCD is triggered... i felt like saying to them all... 'i know what ocd is, and what triggers it blah blah blah... can we stop doing this and get down to it!'. I didnt find CBT helpful at all.... i felt like every session I tried to please the therapist by saying i was trying..... but in reality, nothing was changing as i just could not face up to it... all i know is i am totally frustrated by it and its such a burden.. as im sure you know! xx

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Hi Heatherm

I'm a Mum myself and have contamination OCD. I am a firm believer in ERP CBT but I think that CBT can differ slightly in quality depending on the Therapist so please don't give up on it!

Unfortunately I don't know of any way out of OCD other than good CBT and facing your fears. I have also had some Psychological Therapy to help with a few issues which was useful but CBT is the only thing that helped me with my OCD, without it my life would still be a terrible mess but now life is nearly 'normal'.

It might be helpful for you to have a read of a thread on the Family, Friends and Carers section of the forum called 'My wife's severe contamination ocd....'. I've put a fair bit of info on there about my recovery process that might hopefully help somewhat. I wouldn't want to repeat it all on this thread as I expect people will get bored of reading my story!

Take care and just let me know if I can help any further!

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Hi hun

You are not alone, My daughter is 10 weeks old and I also have a 5 year old son, Im also quite stressed at the minute and I feel like its a constant battle with the OCD from the moment I get up to when I go to bed.... Obviously we just have to perservere and get on with it! But it is hard.

Im suppose to be having CBT but havent heard anything yet, and Im also on medication which you can still breast feed on although Im not, Im bottle feeding. My obessesions are intrusive thoughts that I have about everything and anything, dont really have any rituals though, I suppose sometimes I avoid certain things, which could be a ritual, compulsion.

But your definately not alone and we are all here to support you.

Jo

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