Feel like I am taking a step backwards

[Guest jojo**]

Going to the doctors tomorrow because I need some support, weather it's meds or therapy. I feel like I am taking a step backwards because it's been three years since I had to go to the doctors for help. The intrusive thoughts are getting stronger and more powerful, which is making it hard for me to let it go and then it wins. I know your suppose to resist the urge to fight back, well I really cant because I'll panic and think it's real or that's what I really want. I can't let myself believe that so that's why I cant let the thought go. Also the thoughts are telling me I want them and I dont want to get rid of them, also get feelings when it says "want" in my head, like it means it I know I might not make much sense but I just needed to let this out. Thanks for reading

[Guest ihaveocd23]

Hi

sorry to hear you are struggling :hug: i too suffer from intrusive thoughts the med helped calm them down now though. In the past they were constant, i felt sick with the anxiety, Maybe the doctor will prescribe you something that will help. I was having thoughts like killer and when i say no i dont want these thoughts my head was saying i do, when i was saying its not real my head was saying you know it is which freaked me out even more, and the obsessions also changed i had 3 obsessions 1 after the other i still struggle though dont get me wrong but i can relate to you hun. I did not know what intrusive thoughts were till about 3 months ago i thought i was going mad i truely did. let us know how you get on at the doctors xx

[Guest jojo**]

awww thank you for your reply What medication are you taking? if you don't mind me asking. Yeah when I get the thought/feeling a rush of depression swoops over me, that's the only way I can describe it really. Yeah my head says oh you do want these thoughts but then I get confused over if their intrusive or if it's my ocd making me doubt them etc, and I just have to analysis it or worry. Sometimes i just forget the thought I had but then I'll just get another one, the worst thing I do is trying to control a thought for example if I know one is coming I shake my head or shout or something. When I first had intrusive thoughts I was 17 and I thought it was jokes in my head haha. Thanks hun I will xx

[Guest ihaveocd23]

Hi I'm on sertralin hun. Yes I get that too sometimes I can feel I'm going to get a thought its weird.the ocd will make you doubt its ocd that's very common. Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, frequent thoughts but not always constant.of you try to fight them orsupress them it will only make them stronger. At the time in high anxiety I didn't know this I used to think hy won't they go away I must want them, even though I knew I didn't if that makes sense xx

[Guest jojo**]

Yeah i can understand that my head tries to make me think that I want them by saying oh you do and stuff, but I just have to pass that off as intrusive thoughts. It's like you know the tricks to really self destruct yourself. The doctor has now put me on citalopram which is mainly for depression, ocd and anxiety