Was this an example of OCD or was this just me?

[Guest Sassy Soph]

Hi there! I'm a new sufferer to OCD (as I will explain in another post), and most of my obsessive thoughts revolve around fear of criminal activity, eg. saying something like confessing to a crime I wouldn't dream of commiting, writing something of a similar manner and also, as I go down the street I worry I may accidently attack, hit or kiss somebody - anyone! These feelings have been incredibly powerful and on many occassions I feel I have done these things but 'forgotten'.

Today however, was something new. I walked past a woman and thought to myself 'Hmm it says OCD suffers are unlikely to commit the things they fear... so in my mind, I said 'why don't you hit her (in a slight swiping way)... go on, do it... do it... go for it' and for a split second as I walked past my mind considered it but obviously didn't do it (well unless I forgot that I did it). I think part of me like the idea of doing it - I don't think if I did do it, I'd do it in a violent way and no, there was nothing in it for me... no sexual thoughts or anything! I then had to turn around a few times to check her reaction!

But this is odd... so far it has been fear and being terrified of this, now my mind is actually telling me to do it! And for a split second or more... I think it considers it as an actual option! Very scary!! What else am I capable of, I think!

So is it OCD, or is it me enjoying the risky thoughts?

I feel now like I always do after these attacks, I don't feel worried, I feel calm and am fairly convinced on the whole that I didn't do it.

[Guest jojo**]

It's ocd and it sounds like you get urges to act on your thoughts but no one with ocd ever does. With my ocd it always tells me oh you want to do this etc, this is happening because we hate the thought being there and worry about it, so it keeps coming back stronger and ocd can be so convincing sometimes. If you were a bad person you would of acted on the thoughts. Your ocd is just trying to make you believe you did something wrong when you haven't, you would of remembered it!

hope this helps

jojo x

[Claire1704]

Hey there :original:

I often think about hitting people - my arms twitch and I feel like I have to really keep them still to stop me doing it! Or I think about insulting people at work and saying really awful things about them, that I know I don't mean.

I think this kind of thing isn't unusual when you're anxious... for example I went to the O2 a couple of years ago with my best mate who is terrified of heights... She kept saying that she wanted to throw herself over the railings, but there was no way she was going to do it..... Like jojo says, it's like you know it's he last thing you want to do, but in a way you're tempted to do it anyway as the feeling is so strong....