Guest FobicFairy Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 Hi Whitebeam :-D What a good idea, although I only write poems when I am in my deepest doom moods, so they are truly dreaful and quite comical reading them back later. Oh well, lets hope this theme takes off, it's a good way to express ourselves. FF Link to comment
whitebeam Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Nicola's poem I have copied and pasted Nicola's poem into this section. For original thread and comments go to: http://ocduk.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=107 . i close my eyes the fear sinks in i must defeat this i MUST win until i defeat this, i wont be satisfied the aim is to relax for my heart to smile eyes wide open compulsions begin i have to defeat this i have to win anxiety taking over myself giving in this ocd is a surviver and i will never win there wont be any smiles my heart will not feel light my tears fill my eyes and i hold myself tight i rock back and forth feeling a little mad i grab for the razor i am very sad i slice my arm neatly as if its a peice of meat the relaxtion and control comes back... i am back on my feet the feeling of controling me the feeling of not giving in makes me feel much happier i didnt give in but looking at my arm now i have made a bad mistake unhappy and abnormal i must smile, i must be fake to fit into a world like this we all must bear false smiles we all have something wrong with us no matter what we say so no more thinking we are stupid we are strogner than the rest how i wish i had someone to lean upon their chest to listen to their heart beat to feel safe in their arms to look up to trusting eyes to feel free from my world i have a long time to go now but i will get their in the end when i hit that goal post i will no longer pretend i will wear a smile from my heart that everyone will see i will be much happier i will have broken free but until that day comes upon me these rituals i must do for the feeling of something happening is my worst fear... ocd takes over and i disapear... ocd controls my life and my life is ocd 'i thank ya' nicci Nicola's poem standing in a crowded room lives hurrying by; i'm standing still in my little world no-one to hear my cries i scream and scream inside my head my heart is bursting with pain the tears start rolling down my face the fear starts to creep in i wipe my face with my sleeve i look up to the sky i pray to god oh why oh why i filled with so much pain i look down to the ground and think of my small world and know that i'm incomplete i should trust in god with all my heart and the fear will leave me quick i rub my face with cooling water and smile into the mirror, walk away into my room and vanish into my music some how i know that my life is false i know there is a stronger source i give my life to god alone and i know i will be healed my ocd will no longer be and i will smile to bright i will no longer be alone in a crowd i will no longer be in complete the only time of peace is when i close my eyes there i can live my life without the silent cries Link to comment
whitebeam Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 rocastle's poem I have copied and pasted this poem by rocastle. For original thread and comments go to: http://ocduk.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=63 Its called Never Too Late and is dedicated to all you good people When i was young i thought i was special Thought id end up great, But now i find that every days a never changing date. Nothing seems fun, whats the point in future if ur drowning on the day something good?it will destroy it, it will find a way. Fragile lonely frightened All these what ifs? What am i thinking? Worried what might might happen. But ive got the strength to fight this. My challenge its my call. Been on the ground,but now ive found Im special after all. Link to comment
whitebeam Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 tangoblu This is a poem my son won second place in an national competition with last year (aged 12) before we knew he had OCD: (although on reflection he has had since he was about 6 yrs old) Desire i was born when your desires got out of hand, and you selfishly took what you wanted with no thought at all I was born when you should "Buy me that ice-cream!" Gimme that toy" GIMME GIMME" I want it now!" I was born when you shouted "I want that tennis racket. Gimme it now! GIMME GIMME! Give it to me" I was born with a brother, GREED I fed him from the blue-pupil flame of selfishness, taught him to whisper temptations in your ears. I'll tell you what the whispers mean, they mean you will dissolve in the poisonous saliva of my brother, Greed. All you have to do is let the whispers in, just let the whispers in. It brings tears to my eyes every time!!! - from the mouth of babes.... Link to comment
Guest Stevie Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 Despite Penny's concerted attempts to sabotage my Dad's poem about struggling with christianity , here its is again... Beetle in Church Uphill to the altar-rail, you shuffle, trousered in dust under your polished Sunday black. You negotiate the heights and depths of worn encaustic tiles, more purposeful than me who come behind, patching thread-bare prayers, fingering worn coins. At the step you pause, nuzzle unscaleable heights and turn away, scuttle into debris that the cleaner’s missed and where it’s dark enough to be yourself unchallenged and ignored. I’d rather follow you, I think, than be out here, emblazoned, as a testament to faith. Link to comment
whitebeam Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 (edited) Hurrah! I'm so glad you had another copy! Pen xx Edited February 3, 2010 by whitebeam Link to comment
Guest FobicFairy Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 This link is great, keep em coming. The one by the 12 yr old boy brought tears to my eyes also, it's amazing to be able to write like that as such a tender age. I think OCD makes us mature for our years mentally. I also think it can make us more creative, at least thats some consolation. FF Link to comment
Guest MikeS Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 Poem I wrote, now my mates thing im mad lol Voices From Within I hear them throughout the day, only I and I alone know what they say. The Voices give rituals to perform, once done they go away, leaving me to wonder when they will return. They only work on fear, If I do not feed the Voices they surely should go away, I say, but no, they work to scare and make me anxious, and then finally make me give in. I am at constant battle with my own brain, it knows my fears and manipulates them into any scenario during my day, yet I still believe I can make them go away. It may look strange to other people what they make me do, but deep down I know that the voices will see me through. Link to comment
Guest Person Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 Mikestamp, that was a good poem. Do you study literature? Does anyone count number of toilet roll squares torn, number of emails sent, number of times hands are wiped, number of times the tap is turned on, number of times a word is said etc. In addition, does anyone have numbers they avoid, resulting in them wanting to repeat things until they reach a proper number? I haven't seen it on the bulletin board before. Well, here is a stupid rhyme about counting. It certainly does not fit into category of this thread, and is not at all comparable to Mikestamp's work of art. Title: This does not count as OCD 4 and 6 ineligible reasons unintelligible, 13 right out rationale without, Along with multiples, Squares and roots Cubes and logs, sum of integers too. All pervasive Yet inclusive. Coins paid, emails sent Words said, money lent Hands wiped, dollars brought Sentences typed, items bought. It was a sunny day, with clouds swept away, when we found Count Dracula amusing. Not mathematical ability Nor maniacal disability Just paradoxical inability to Stop. _____________________________________________ (Just to clarify, the last two lines are untrue) Link to comment
Guest Toffee Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 Here's the chorus from radiohead's Just. I thought it relevant. You do it to yourself, you do And that's what really hurts Is that you do it to yourself Just you, you and no one else You do it to yourself You do it to yourself Link to comment
Guest MikeS Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 Mikestamp, that was a good poem. Do you study literature?Well, here is a stupid rhyme about counting. It certainly does not fit into category of this thread, and is not at all comparable to Mikestamp's work of art. _____________________________________________ (Just to clarify, the last two lines are untrue) lol, my poems not that good, I just wrote it in a lunch break Link to comment
Guest jaci Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 Here's a little poem I wrote, it wasn't actually written about ocd specifically, more about loneliness but ocd IS very lonely. Black hole surrounded by Empty walls of white My heart beating To escape the prison of Self-imposed gravity To hear the voices behind the echoes With all the colors of the rainbow And make the hidden seen I dream Link to comment
Guest Saffa Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Hello guys..this is something I wrote when my OCD was at it's worse!! I'm a Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde, With more than one person aboding inside, Many a morn and night I have cried, For the removal of this unwanted visitor I hide, With pain and with fear my time I bide, How many times "I'm fine" I have lied, I'm a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Dying a death deep down in my inside!! It kind of describes how I often find myself feeling!! Saffa Link to comment
Guest Kitty Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Saffa I really like this. Do you write much poetry? If not you should. It sums up the way we all feel at times in a really clever way. I think that writing is a brilliant way to release the way you are feeling and express emotions that you maybe don't feel confident enough to say to people face to face. Anyway, just wanted to let you know I thought your poem was brilliant take care luv n lollies Queenie x Link to comment
Guest Saffa Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Hey Queenie, Thanks for your kind words...I only seem to write when I'm down!! I have pages of stuff..not poems but just you know stuff you can't tell anyone but well in my case God! Its a vent I guess!!! Thanks Saffa Link to comment
Guest patsy Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Hi Saffa, I like your poem a lot. I can identify with it. I bet a lot of sufferers can! Love Patsy x Link to comment
Guest Bobby Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 Hello Saffa,I have 2 little men in my head.One is white,and is logic and reason.The other is red,and is doubt and fear.Guess which one I have got to tell to go away. Bob. Link to comment
Stephen Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Nice poem Saffa! I have recently realised the paradoxes that define me. Paradox is an interesting concept! All the best Stephen Link to comment
Guest ocdfighter Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Thanks for sharing that with us Saffa (just relaised like I sound like a corny support group leader - AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!) Anyway it must be good catharsis for you to express yourself so poetically. How many times "I'm fine" I have lied - I am sure we have all experienced that feeling of our inner and public selves being so divorced from each other.So Saffa - you never did tell us what you are studying at SOAS? M. Link to comment
Guest Saffa Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Well M!! ...you don't mind if I call you M do you..reminds me of James Bond :grin: My degree is in Arabic and Persian and it has taken me seven years to get this far!!!Yipeeee :clap: :clapping: only a week to go God willing!!!!!At this stage Im like...so not bothered about my degree classification...I was aiming for a first but I don't think that is going to happen...My year was like some crazed Sit-com. Anyway Im looking forward to posting a pic of me with my cap and gown!!! Saffa..or S. Link to comment
Guest ocdfighter Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 My degree is in Arabic and Persian Cool Saffa - must be difficult! no doubt MI6 will be interesting in signing you up! I look forward to seeing you in your graduation gear. M Link to comment
Caramoole Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 I wrote this this morning, over my first cuppa and wondered if anyone else finds that talking to yourself on paper sometimes helps? Anyway thought I'd share it :crybaby: Feel free to add yours I can’t remember how to get out Once I get in I can’t remember the steps I need to begin I can’t find the hope Or the foothold I need But somewhere Just somewhere There still lies the seed Deep in the forest Of thoughts in my mind I know if I trust in myself I will find That there in the darkness Beyond OCD Lies the key to my winning “The essence of me” She’s not gone away And she hasn’t gone mad She may be quite frightened And rightly, feels sad She may be confused And frustrated and cross But, deep down at her core She still knows she’s the boss She’ll soon find the courage And strength to begin Front-up to this nonsense And yes, she will win It may not be easy And clouded with doubt But I’ll stick with the sign-post That says “THIS WAY OUT” A travelling Salesman Visits year after year His special, on offer Is selling you fear If this was an item Do you think you’d buy? From a liar, a cheat From this OCD Guy? I think not, you’d tell him, To get on his way With his sub-standard goods “Beggar Off” you would say You’d see through his lying You’d unmask his plan And soon send him packing This under-hand man! And life can be like that Though clouded and woolly I won’t give up now I’ll front up to that bully I’ll start out with courage That’s how I’ll begin And I know in my heart Though it’s hard, I WILL WIN Link to comment
Caramoole Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 ....and this is one I wrote some time ago Is this the you, you want to be Riddled and drowned in anxiety Living life not how you want it to be Believing the lies in your mind? It's the doubt in your mind That is often unkind Always negative, driving you mad It will shatter your faith Giving you no reprieve And each day sees you feeling more sad But if you listen deep inside You will hear the silly lies Of the Demon in your soul who isn't you He was put there to protect you Not to hassle and upset you But he often gets it wrong and so do you So close your ears, do not listen Shout right back, scream go away And the lies Do not believe him He's a lying, cheating, thieving Sort of Bully And refuse to share his day Is this the you you want to be Happy and strong and believing in me Living a life how you want it to be And beating the lies in your mind? Yeah, this is the me I wanted to be Happy and strong and believing in me Living my life how I want it to be And beating the lies in my mind Link to comment
Guest SallyB Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 Caramoole, Thank you for sharing your poems. I really enjoyed reading them - and felt that you really captured the feelings of ocd. Sally B Link to comment
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