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Gloria123

Groinal response - is it now real arousal or not?

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Hey,

I´m still quite unsure how to deal with my groinal response: Is it real sexual arousal or not? I sometimes get de advice to just accept that it might be real and to not analyse ist...

but the fact that it MIGHT BE REAL, is so horrible :(

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Your putting to much emphasis on if its "real" or not. What your feeling IS a groinal response. And yes, a groinal response is a real feeling. However, the reasons we feel them are not what we think x

Lucy xxx

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Gloria123

I don't want you to think about your knee itching. The last thing I want you to think about it your knee itching. If your knee itches then....

Wow. My knee started to itch after all that.

My point (yes, I have one) is that you can elicit a response from part of your body just by worrying/thinking about it. Where most people can get by without ascribing any meaning to it, those of us with OCD get all hung up on what it means.

It means nothing. Its not going to cause you to do anything. It doesn't mean you want to do anything.

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Guest Annabel

It's not because it's real, it's because constantly questioning whether or not it's real makes it stronger x

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Guest legend

Your putting to much emphasis on if its "real" or not. What your feeling IS a groinal response. And yes, a groinal response is a real feeling. However, the reasons we feel them are not what we think x

Lucy xxx

yes lucy it is called sensation by proxy, caused through the anxiety, and of course the more you focus on it , the more it will happen, but thats easier said than

done when you are in the grips of ocd., but what one has to work at is accepting and acknowledging that its happening because of having ocd, and to try and

not question it.

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Yes, but you also told me that unfortunately one can´t be sure if it´s a real arousal or not and that one has to accept the uncertainty that it might be real arousal?

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Guest legend

But I mean I often got a feeling that EXACTLY felt like real sexual arousal? :(

yes, and as i explained on here and via the pm, its the way that ocd works unfortunatly, and the key is acknowledging that, but its hard to do so

But its important to try and resist the urge to ask the same questions otherwise its a form of reasurance seeking and it will keep the loops

of ocd going.

Edited by legend

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Yes but my question still is: How am I possible to acknowledge it when it feels so real and if i also have to deal with the thought that it might be real?

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I dont want to reassure you to much. I have recently learned just how much reasurance seeking has held me back on recovering, but as groinal response was at one point a MAJOR obsession for me, i will explain to you how it was for me and hopefully you will use the information and believe it for yourself. My groinal response also felt (still does when i get it) EXACTLY like sexual arousal. Thats what scared me so much. But when i learned and believed exactly what it was and why i get it, when i do get them (and i still do) they dont bother me. I know im only getting them because of my ocd. I truly hope one day, you will inderstand and believe it to xx

Lucy xxx

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Guest legend

Yes but my question still is: How am I possible to acknowledge it when it feels so real and if i also have to deal with the thought that it might be real?

yes and questioning it and reasurance hasnt worked has it ? nope because the compulsions keep the ocd happy. if you starve it , then it will become

less bothersome

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my problem is all the time that, when i feel it, in that moment i´m not able to say "that´s just ocd", because it feels so real that i´m not doubting that i´m real aroused...

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@

lucylia: Thank you. Did you also have POCD and the fear you could be peadophile? Did it really feel like real arousal (got by you boyfriend for example)? But how were you able to get over the point to say "It´s just OCD"? It´s so hard for me...because when I actually have the feeling of arousel in front of kids (and which I actually just know from my boyfriend) it´s so hard for me to get it out of my head.

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Yes, worrying about being a paedophile was my biggest worry and obsession. The arousal/groinal response feeling i feel, feels the same as any arousal i ever get. But i know that my ocd is causing it. Ocd also exagerrates it. It can make it feel soooo strong. I never "got over" it so to speak, i just learned to accept that part of it as part of the illness i have. Its not my fault, if i could control it i would. I never asked for this, but its just part of me. Its just a feeling,its not harming anyone and quite frankly i promise you i still get these feelings alot (even hearing stories on the news about abuse etc) and they really dont bother me. Believe it or not,excitment over ANYTHING, e.g. going on holiday, going to see your fav band, ..... Can stir up feelings in every part of your body,including your private area,similar to that of arousal, nerves and anxiousness can also do the same xxx

Lucy xxx

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Guest legend

Yes, worrying about being a paedophile was my biggest worry and obsession. The arousal/groinal response feeling i feel, feels the same as any arousal i ever get. But i know that my ocd is causing it. Ocd also exagerrates it. It can make it feel soooo strong. I never "got over" it so to speak, i just learned to accept that part of it as part of the illness i have. Its not my fault, if i could control it i would. I never asked for this, but its just part of me. Its just a feeling,its not harming anyone and quite frankly i promise you i still get these feelings alot (even hearing stories on the news about abuse etc) and they really dont bother me. Believe it or not,excitment over ANYTHING, e.g. going on holiday, going to see your fav band, ..... Can stir up feelings in every part of your body,including your private area,similar to that of arousal, nerves and anxiousness can also do the same xxx

Lucy xxx

thats a brilliant post lucy. :O)

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Yes, it´s a really good post and it helped a lot. I ofted get insecured when i talk to other people who have POCD and who tell me that it´s another feeling than real arousal and that they know that it´s no real arousal...

But, i don´t know, maybe I´m also kind of "blinded" because of having so much anxiety but sometime i could swear that in my genital area there is the same tingling and everything which i get when i´m having sex with my boyfriend. of course often i say that i don´t want to have that feeling...but e.g. when i did the confrontation and afterwards i wanted to have sex, it was so hard for me to accept :(

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"The arousal/groinal response feeling i feel, feels the same as any arousal i ever get."

My biggest problem simply is that i have that feeling i just want to get in front of my boyfriend...and it´s really that feeling :(

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Hi there,

I too used to get this. Looking back now I can see it was meerly a thought in amongst a series of thoughts. The mind reproduces what we focus on, therefore, be it cars, then the mind produces more thoughts on cars, this unfortunately occurs when we focus on the things that we dont want to think about. The most difficult thing I had to get to grips with was that I wa doing this to myslef, unintentionally of course but I made a choice to think and feel this way. The thing is, no-one else is in your mind, so you are the one in charge!

Personally, I think that guilt has a huge part to play in OCD. If you have a thought, be it disturbing, then it can have no effect on you unless you feel guilty about it. Once I got this out of the way, everything just slotted into place. I am now proud to say that I am OCD free, I still get occaisional thoughts, but they are just memories and I never even stop to disect them. Getting back to the guilt though, if there is nothing to feel guilty about, then there can be no anxiety!! Simples!

We as OCD sufferers or ex sufferers need to realise that there is no shame in having thoughts about anything. If we intended on hurting someone or ourselves we would do it without guilt, and we would have done it by now. The thing is, the very fact that we are affected by the constant drive of disturbing thoughts is testament to the fact that we could never and will never hurt ourselves or anyone else for that matter. These sensations are meerly that, sensations, harmless and needless and can be erradicated for good.

I am cured, by myself and no-one else, through hard work and dedication, by studying ex-sufferers and by researching why I was suceptable to this unlike the vast majority of others. I am so glad I wnet through this amazing journey as now I am as happy as a man could be.

Please contact me if you would like to talk more.

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Guest legend

Hi there,

I too used to get this. Looking back now I can see it was meerly a thought in amongst a series of thoughts. The mind reproduces what we focus on, therefore, be it cars, then the mind produces more thoughts on cars, this unfortunately occurs when we focus on the things that we dont want to think about. The most difficult thing I had to get to grips with was that I wa doing this to myslef, unintentionally of course but I made a choice to think and feel this way. The thing is, no-one else is in your mind, so you are the one in charge!

Personally, I think that guilt has a huge part to play in OCD. If you have a thought, be it disturbing, then it can have no effect on you unless you feel guilty about it. Once I got this out of the way, everything just slotted into place. I am now proud to say that I am OCD free, I still get occaisional thoughts, but they are just memories and I never even stop to disect them. Getting back to the guilt though, if there is nothing to feel guilty about, then there can be no anxiety!! Simples!

We as OCD sufferers or ex sufferers need to realise that there is no shame in having thoughts about anything. If we intended on hurting someone or ourselves we would do it without guilt, and we would have done it by now. The thing is, the very fact that we are affected by the constant drive of disturbing thoughts is testament to the fact that we could never and will never hurt ourselves or anyone else for that matter. These sensations are meerly that, sensations, harmless and needless and can be erradicated for good.

I am cured, by myself and no-one else, through hard work and dedication, by studying ex-sufferers and by researching why I was suceptable to this unlike the vast majority of others. I am so glad I wnet through this amazing journey as now I am as happy as a man could be.

Please contact me if you would like to talk more.

its GREAT that youve done so well so perhaps you could share it on the forums on what work you did to achieve success.

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Ok, imagine your biggest fear was to be sexuallt aeroused/turned on by for say . . . Your cooker lol. Ok,so the mind fixates on this. So you see or hear or think about a cooker. . . Your groinal response kicks in (NOT because of the cooker, because of your ocd). That arousal stays with you,it lingers on. Your in bed with your partner fooling around,yet you still have the groinal response hanging around earlier on from the thought/feeling of the cooker........ Do you NOT have sexual intercourse because of this? X

Lucy xxx

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Read my post further down about groinal response and how strong it cN be. I mean...... Do you get these feelings,then feel guilty, but they wont go away, then say your partner wants to have sex, but you feel you shouldnt because of these feelings? Xxx

Lucy xxx

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Guest legend

just remembered this fantastic article by dr phillipson re groinal response. Its about halfway down the scrpit, under the "gay spike" and it gives you

a good explanation of groinal responses in ocd.

Of course we can keep giving you this information, but there comes a time where you have to grab the bull by the horns and change the way you

respond to the thoughts and unwanted feelings

heres link

http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson7.php

interestingly it happens to non ocd sufferers, but they let go of it.

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