Groinal response - is it now real arousal or not?

[Guest Gloria123]

I always just thought that it´s just groinal response and no arousal itself and that it can feel like arousal....but i never thought that it really is one

[Guest lucylia]

Why should you feel guilty because you have an illness that causes these unwanted thoughts AND feelings?? I feel for you, i really do. This particular obsession plagued me for a long time, and i will bet if legend can remember that far back i was just like you and asked the exact same questions...... Remember legend?? Look at me now gloria. I get these thoughts and feelings all the time and i dont feel guilty at all anymore. Through hard work,perseverance and not reasurance seeking i finally feel free from this. If i can do it (and by the way i was real bad over this) anyone can do it x

Lucy xxx

[Guest Gloria123]

That encourages me, thank you.

I wish I could get this guilt off...it´s the hardest part for me...i also felt guilt because of this intrusive thoughts but am able to say that these are just thoughts etc....but with that arousal feeling it´s so much harder because i just want to feel it with my bf and always think that i´m not "allowed" to feel it in front of kids

[Guest legend]

I always just thought that it´s just groinal response and no arousal itself and that it can feel like arousal....but i never thought that it really is one

youll get better gloria, it can take time but you will trust me :O)

legend

Edited September 13, 2012 by legend

[Guest Gloria123]

But how is ocd able to give me such a unwanted feeling?

[Guest lucylia]

As i said, i was once like yourself. I badly want to reasure you because of all the topics in here right now, yours is the one i can relate to most. Honestly i could have written some of your posts myself. But i know that reassuring you will only make you worse. I spoke to legend ALOT throughout this obsession. I was crying out for reassurance. He will probably remember me as being one of the biggest reassurance seekers at that time. My posts were constant and constantly asking for reassurance. I got nowhere by doing so. I eventually accepted my illness. And that my illness was the cause of all these awful things. Once you accept this (and your going to have to accept it gloria,if you dont you will not move on) you will see things alot clearer xx

Lucy xxx

[Guest lucylia]

Because it just does gloria. There is no way of knowing for sure WHY it does, it just does. It causes unwanted thoughts, FEELINGS and urges. Thats the nature of this illness.

Lucy xxx

[Guest legend]

As i said, i was once like yourself. I badly want to reasure you because of all the topics in here right now, yours is the one i can relate to most. Honestly i could have written some of your posts myself. But i know that reassuring you will only make you worse. I spoke to legend ALOT throughout this obsession. I was crying out for reassurance. He will probably remember me as being one of the biggest reassurance seekers at that time. My posts were constant and constantly asking for reassurance. I got nowhere by doing so. I eventually accepted my illness. And that my illness was the cause of all these awful things. Once you accept this (and your going to have to accept it gloria,if you dont you will not move on) you will see things alot clearer xx

Lucy xxx

i certainly do lucy, and if i recall i was devil for not giving but, but i believe what we did was that i said i know how difficult it is, and you offer a hand of

support, and keep ecouraging. X

@gloria, sadly your thread now isnt actually benefiting in the sense it has now become a place that your using as a reasurance tool, which isnt benficial

and what happens, is when we tell you it is, ocd will say yes , what if, im doubting.

The key is to recognise why you are doubting, and when you get the urge to ask, or ruminate then you have to resist it

[Guest lucylia]

You were a devil for not giving it lol . . . I used to question and question and you never caved, was soooo frustrating ha ha. However, i now realise you were doing me a favour and you were and still are a great support, and i will always be greatful. Legend is right gloria. This post isnt helping you at all. Why not delete it and start a fresh one about trying to be optomistic and discuss ways on how we can beat this together. I unfortunately have caved a few times abd given you some reassurance. I find ot hard not to when i remember how bad i used to feel when i couldnt get it. But ive reassured you, ive explained why you feel this way and why you get these feelings. There is nothing else i can say to you about it that wont be reassurance. Its up to you to take what we have said and use it in trying to beat this thing xx

Lucy xxx

[Guest legend]

You were a devil for not giving it lol . . . I used to question and question and you never caved, was soooo frustrating ha ha. However, i now realise you were doing me a favour and you were and still are a great support, and i will always be greatful. Legend is right gloria. This post isnt helping you at all. Why not delete it and start a fresh one about trying to be optomistic and discuss ways on how we can beat this together. I unfortunately have caved a few times abd given you some reassurance. I find ot hard not to when i remember how bad i used to feel when i couldnt get it. But ive reassured you, ive explained why you feel this way and why you get these feelings. There is nothing else i can say to you about it that wont be reassurance. Its up to you to take what we have said and use it in trying to beat this thing xx

Lucy xxx

youve done a grand job of offering advice lucy, well done matey x.

Reasurance isnt always a no-no when a person is in the depths of ocd, in the same way you wouldnt shut off the water to someone who washes there hands

but what we try and aim to do is to guide that person and try and change the way we respond to the ocd.

Of course there does come a point where we have to say come on lets change it, and encourage the sufferer x

[Guest Gloria123]

Thank you...it also helps me when i try to speak with my boyfriend about all that because my biggest guilt-feeling is that i somehow thinkt that he´s the one person i´m allowed to be aroused from...

he gladly is very understanding and tries to help me but can also understand that i´m still feeling not good about it....it´s good to have somebody supporting you

[Guest legend]

Thank you...it also helps me when i try to speak with my boyfriend about all that because my biggest guilt-feeling is that i somehow thinkt that he´s the one person i´m allowed to be aroused from...

he gladly is very understanding and tries to help me but can also understand that i´m still feeling not good about it....it´s good to have somebody supporting you

yep, but its also important that he isnt giving reasurance and nor that you are continually asking him for it :O)

[Guest Gloria123]

no. i mean he is no sufferer and can´t answer these questions...

i´m still not sure how to deal with the fact that it is real...so many people told me that it´s NOT...

[Guest legend]

no. i mean he is no sufferer and can´t answer these questions...

i´m still not sure how to deal with the fact that it is real...so many people told me that it´s NOT...

Your still asking for reasurance.

its real in the sense that its an atribute of having ocd, but not real in the sense that you want to have sex with a kid

Now youve got to resist engaging with working it out , and resist asking people .

Edited September 13, 2012 by legend

[Guest Gloria123]

i´m often doubting about everything and am not sure what i want and what not...

[Guest legend]

i´m often doubting about everything and am not sure what i want and what not...

yep. thats why its called the doubting desease. one of the top ten most debiltating illnesses in the world.

[Guest Gloria123]

Hmm...i don´t know how to get it out of my head...i don´t want to become aroused by anything other than my boyfriend...

[Guest legend]

Hmm...i don´t know how to get it out of my head...i don´t want to become aroused by anything other than my boyfriend...

by trying to rid yourself of it, simply doesnt make it go away, in fact by doing so will only increase it and make it worse.

cbt and exposure therapy is the gold key to recovery

[Guest Gloria123]

but i guess that my therapists doesn´t know anything about groinal response and that it´s part of ocd

[Guest legend]

but i guess that my therapists doesn´t know anything about groinal response and that it´s part of ocd

then id guess that perhaps youll need to see a therapist that has an all round good knowledge of ocd , unless you havent discussed this with your current

therapist ?

[Guest Gloria123]

i told her about the groinal response and then she told me that i should check if i´m relly aroused (look if it got wet etc.) and that i should think about if it´s the same feeling i get with my boyfriend....these questions made me doubt if she is aware of these sensations. on the other hand she told me that it´s normal that you feel something if you focus on a part of your body...

unfortunately there aren´t a lot of therapists with a huge knowledge in ocd here in germany i guess

[Guest lucylia]

She is righjt, it is normal to feel something when focusing on that feeling on the said area. That can happen to anyone. But us with ocd . . . It really exaggerates it and makes that feeling ten times stronger. Maybe you should print off the page about sex and ocd and groinal response and show it to your therapist xxx

Lucy xxx

[Guest legend]

As she said , on the other hand if you focus on any part of your body, which is exactly right, but in theory by checking to see if its the same, is "okish" to begin

with, but what you wouldnt do is to keep checking because it is a compulsion in itself and wont work

what cbt stuff have you done with her ?

[Guest lucylia]

Can i ask YOU a question now lol?? What did YOU think of ME after reading my post on groinal response and masterbation?

Lucy xxx

[Guest Gloria123]

I had to write down my biggest fearst and worst thoughts and then we will do confrontation...but at the moment we care about my ocd with my relationship. i had to do a tape recording which i have to listen to over and over again.

hehe good question...well on the one hand i was glad to hear that there are other people who seem to feel the same way as me and on the other hand i was a bit surprised that it can be THAT strong and that you didn´t feel that guilty to forbid yourself to go further (masterbating)...