Binxy Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 I hope you feel better soon Bruces. Hang in there, and if you need help tonight make sure you call for it. Tomorrow is another another day- it may feel really hard at the mo but there is always hope... even when it's hard to see. Hang in there buddy Link to comment
Guest FlyingEagle Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 Bruces, not sure if it's been mentioned but SSRIs can cause suicidal thoughts in some people so please get to a doctor and discuss how you're feeling. I've felt suicidal before and tried to take my own life many years ago since then i have been on an anti-psychotic which helped me rebuild my life. You need a dream... a goal to work towards... Hope you can get through this Bruces. Link to comment
bruces Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 All types of treatment require my interaction which i dont have the energy for plus how many day,weeks months till the next time i feel like like this? Thats after spending hours and hours in waiting rooms,is it ending my life or ending the suffering,i dont remember the last time i woke up on a morning glad to be alive Link to comment
Guest FlyingEagle Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 All types of treatment require my interaction which i dont have the energy for plus how many day,weeks months till the next time i feel like like this? Thats after spending hours and hours in waiting rooms,is it ending my life or ending the suffering,i dont remember the last time i woke up on a morning glad to be alive Are you on anti-psychotic medication? Link to comment
Guest legend Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 All types of treatment require my interaction which i dont have the energy for plus how many day,weeks months till the next time i feel like like this? Thats after spending hours and hours in waiting rooms,is it ending my life or ending the suffering,i dont remember the last time i woke up on a morning glad to be alive yep thats the trouble when we look at life and things through a telescope. As i said you look ahead, and see darkness, whose to say things click in place when things are implemented properly Link to comment
bruces Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 I ant get rid of my issues ive tried loads of times in the past and will never lead a normal life and i no longer can be bothered with the mental exhaustion it leaves me with just doing a normal simple everyday task,whats the point with a life that holds absolutely no pleasure or anything to look forward to Link to comment
bruces Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 Im on ssri whats anti psychotics?? Link to comment
Guest lucylia Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 Have you any close friends you can spend time with? xx Lucy xxx Link to comment
Guest FlyingEagle Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 Im on ssri whats anti psychotics?? It's something the psychiatrist might want to try you out on Bruces. It could help you mate. Try and be positive if you can... we're all in the brown stuff really... you just have to try and be positive. Link to comment
bruces Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 I dont do positive there is no good or anything to look forward to life is just constant grief and anxiety with no pleasure,ive sickened my friends off with my attitude none ov them want to be around me which i understand i dont want to be around me but i have no choice,at least i will hurt less people when im gone Link to comment
Guest FlyingEagle Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 I dont do positive there is no good or anything to look forward to life is just constant grief and anxiety with no pleasure,ive sickened my friends off with my attitude none ov them want to be around me which i understand i dont want to be around me but i have no choice,at least i will hurt less people when im gone We all annoy our friends... make some changes... invest some time in getting yourself sorted out by getting some treatment... then you can renew friendships. I'm wanting to see you post in 6 months time telling me how things have improved Bruces. I'm counting on you. You've got to fight. Link to comment
Guest JC123 Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 I'm sorry that your feeling so horrible but please know that we are all here for you Link to comment
bruces Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 I have no fight no energy no desire i continually look at ways to hurry my goal i chain smoke even though i dont enjoy them and i never wear a seat belt when driving just in the hope of accident will prove fatal Link to comment
Guest The fighter Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 Please don't do anything, just reading all these messages have made me sad! Your a decent person, everyone is here to help you, I know it dosent mean much but please don't do anything Link to comment
Guest FlyingEagle Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 I have no fight no energy no desire i continually look at ways to hurry my goal i chain smoke even though i dont enjoy them and i never wear a seat belt when driving just in the hope of accident will prove fatal I don't wear a seat belt but not because i want to die... i used to chain smoke... you can use oral tobacco mate it's said to be 1000 times better than smoking by the Royal College of Physicians. If you're willing to harm/kill yourself then why not try oral tobacco mate. If you want any more info please send me a private message. Link to comment
bruces Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 I want to end the pain Link to comment
Guest legend Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 I want to end the pain then speak to a professional bruce. Link to comment
bruces Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 If only that helped. Link to comment
Guest Annabel Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 (edited) Hi Bruces, I'm sorry you're so ill. We're all rooting for you on the forum and want you to get better and experience all that life has to offer. Depression acts like a blinder over your mind's eye so you can't see anything as hopeful or see any opportunities but there are ways to get rid of depression and sometimes it even clears up by itself after time. A change or medication or a different type of treatment can help. You've reached a point where you're flat and can't deal with things so perhaps give yourself a chance to collapse, to let things pass you by and to ask others for help but suicide is never easy, rarely the best thing to do- lots of people who attempt it end up horribly severely disabled or suddenly regret their decision when it's too late. It doesn't mean peace. The way to end the pain is to let yourself be ill, stop striving and ask for all the help you can get. If you were physically ill you would be given support and care and you deserve that for this. Thinking of you & rooting for you to get better xxxxxx Edited October 28, 2012 by Annabel Link to comment
bruces Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 Its as if this is the only way im used to i dont have energy to change because im so lazy i made a big mistake recently Link to comment
Guest Annabel Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 It's completely fine to be lazy. For months now I've just sat on a chair in the living room watching TV. I have achieved nothing. I don't need to though. I have intrinsic worth regardless of what I do with my life and so do you. Even if depression makes me feel otherwise I have potential to do things with my life and so do you. What mistake did you make recently? xx Link to comment
Guest FlyingEagle Posted October 28, 2012 Share Posted October 28, 2012 What music do you like bruces? listen to this... Link to comment
bruces Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 I took the decision to accept voluntry redundancy in order to run my dads minibus firm,i took months deliberating over that decision to reach the conclusion that 25grand and a business to run is an inviting offer as it would be to most people ive since realised this wasnt a good decision as keeping 3 minibuses on the road would be beyond me as i have such issues with checking ocd and doing the maintenance is beyond me Link to comment
bruces Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 I know this seems odd but i just cant be bothered with anything i cant be bothered to shower or be bothered to brush my teeth or even go to the loo which inevitably i have to but its an effort Link to comment
Caramoole Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I know this seems odd but i just cant be bothered with anything i cant be bothered to shower or be bothered to brush my teeth or even go to the loo which inevitably i have to but its an effort It's not odd at all, it's typical of someone who's depressed....and you're depressed because of the constant bombardment of OCD. Apathy, resistance, are all typical in anxiety and OCD. I don't pretend it's easy but you can get to a place where life isn't all bad, where it can be good again and that's what you really want, a life that you can enjoy. Not death. On this site there are hundreds (or even thousands) who have stood in your shoes, who know exactly the level of despair you're feeling right now. We're not reading from a text book or medical paper....we've been in the same boat and know that with the right treatment and support, things can improve vastly. The language we use to ourselves really has an effect on how we are, and understandably right now...you're feeding yourself 1000% hatred and anger and self-loathing. Please don't :hug: Get mad with this illness instead, that's your enemy, not you. The fears, the horrible thoughts, the doubts, the rituals, the whatevers are ALL false. They are part of an illness and it is possible to get control back. I am a lot, lot older than you and back at your age I was in a similar place. I couldn't eat, couldn't wash, couldn't go out, couldn't be alone....was a wreck. If you asked anyone today if that could be me, they'd laugh. We're all gunning you on Bruces Go back to your GP and tell them exactly how you feel and in the meantime, we're here for you in whatever way we can be. You deserve to be better. Caramoole :hug: Link to comment
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