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no desire to live


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I'm really sorry you feel this way bruces and I'm sure it's not a nice place to be. Like I said before I think you are depressed and this is why everything seems so unpleasant and life itself seems a struggle. I wish there was something I could say to make it all better but unforunately there isn't, the most important thing is not to give up and keep believing that things will get better. I'm sure there were times when you did used to enjoy doing things but the depression takes that enjoyment away. Is there anything that you can do to distract yourself from these thoughts?

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How about when you were younger? I know I sometimes feel like I enjoy anything but that's when I'm quite depressed and I can at least say before my obsessional thoughts kicked in I did used to enjoy lots of things, the OCD and depression just takes away that enjoyment.

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There is nothing that you did to deserve this, nobody deserves this, it is just that we have an illness and that is why we need the right treatment to help us get better and back to how we were when we were well.

I think the most important thing is that you can remember a time when life was enjoyable for you, try hold onto that memory and work to try get back to that stage again. It wont be easy but we have to try.

I always hope that one day I'm going to wake up and all my problems will be gone, or just as long as I get over this one obsession I'll be okay after that but it really doesn't work like that. It takes time to get better but we can get better as many others who suffer with these problems have shown.

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I'm sorry you feel this way bruces and I'm sure many other forum members have felt the same on many occasions. I'm sorry I can't be of any more help but really think it's best you talk to trained health professional about these things.

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  • 1 year later...

they dont really seem to want to offer me any more help,and i dont think i can sort my problems myself and i find im existing not living

I'm really sorry bruces I don't understand why they don't want to seem to help you.Because yourself like anyone/everyone else can be helped and I know right now it seems impossible but there is a treatemnt for you out there just have to find it of course.

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Has the nurse giving you a number you could maybe phone up if things are tough? I know it might probably seem like the last thing you want to do I understand but if you are expressing your thoughts that's a positive.

Another question I might ask is do you feel like you are treating yourself well? (An example could be that you might be getting yourself into a negative thinking pattern)

It might be a different case for yourself but do give the link below a look at see if you can relate to any of what it's saying.

http://www.self-compassion.org/self_compassion_exercise.pdf

Edited by grams88
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I have a crisis number but I don't think I'd ever ring it I think I'd clam up and wouldn't know what to say,I now know that I really don't want to be here anymore that I'm sure of but I also think continuously of my dad and the effect it would have on him.

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Bruces I know it's so tought for you right now&virtually nothing at all helps for you or anyone else when they're so depressed.But I do know you'll come out of this mate I really do,the only way is up now you can't go any more lower.I think you really need to have a good talk to your Dr about trying new medications&if they don't intend on helping you here I would be speaking to some else mate :original: .

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Bruces you will have to bear with me as you seem to have two similar threads running at the moment, one of which was resurrected from 2012, so I might not know everything that is happening now.

Do you think your OCD is under control, as opposed to your depression? The reason I am asking is because you don't seem to be having CBT, but instead behavioural therapy. Have they told you why you aren't having CBT? I was just wondering whether because you don't ring your crisis team, they actually don't realise how bad you are feeling. Do you ever see a psychiatrist rather than a nurse? If you don't feel you can use the phone, have you thought of writing them a letter?

Sorry for all the questions, but I often hear my son say this and in fact Im pretty sure he blames me for having him in the first place!

Im not sure if you work, or indeed how old you are, but is there anything you like doing, or used to like doing? You might not feel you can do anything at the moment, but even if you just dipped your toe into something you used to enjoy to see how it feels. My son's psychiatrist advocates exercise as being really helpful. Doesn't need to be anything extreme. My son has recently got a bike. Believe me trying to stay on a woodland path, avoiding roots and potholes, leaves little time for depression or OCD!

I do know all this is easily said, but life can take an unexpected turn for the better, sometimes you just don't see it coming. Ask my son last month and ask him this month and you would get a totally different answer as to whether its worth being here. I don't know what your medication is, but my son weened himself off his anti-psychotics (not suggesting you do this without medical help) and do you know what, my son from the past re-appeared from a fog and I actually heard him laugh again. Until you hear that, you don't realise how drugs dampen everything down, including the good feelings. Could someone help you review your medication in case its actually making you feel worse?

The most important thing Bruces is to find a reason to be here for yourself, even the smallest of reasons is a start, rather than for your family.

Everyone is here for you and wiling you to find that glimmer of hope to start working on.

Carol

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Hi carol thanks for your post and yes I do realise one of my older posts has reappeared,just to fill in some details,I'm 39 and my ocd affects my ability to do my trade which was being a car mechanic as I don't have the ability to convince myself I've tightened all the nuts and bolts,I had cbt last year but couldn't interact with it die to the severe depression so they thought they would give me some behaviour therapy first which is being given by a physchiactric nurse,I saw a psychiatrist that suggested this and also said my current medication couldn't be changed as I've tried them all,I'm currently working kind of part time at the moment but I don't find it stimulates me enough it's only an hour in the morning and the same in the afternoon,this sounds silly but I sometimes wish I had no family as then I could just leave this world without hurting anybody.

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Guest Erik197834

Bruces, I can really relate to your despair. Been there myself a couple of times. But you really have to start accepting that you have OCD. No buts and if's..

Your posts scream Ocd my friend!!! I know it feels like running through a wall, but you have got to do it! You will be nicer for yourself running through that

wall then tormenting yourself with the thoughts you have. Because that is all Ocd is. A tormentor and a wall..

So start running towards that wall my friend and eventually you will go through it.

Having Ocd is a lonely experience, because no one can really understand the personal struggle. That is what makes it so hard in my opinion. But we Ocd

sufferers are fighters, you are a fighter. Do not expect others to do the hard fighting for you...you can do it.

Edited by Erik197834
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Guest Erik197834

You are not alone in that. OCD and depression go hand in hand. Again, been there. I have once spent 3 months in a row in bed, thinking or

almost knowing for sure that I had contracted Hiv.

Do not fight the wrong thing Bruce, it is ok to be depressed. In fact, being depressed is a good thing. It would be troublesome if you were

not depressed by the thoughts we OCD sufferers have. But now I am just giving you reassurance, and that is not my intention.

OCD is your core problem. Depression a secundary. When you accept that you have OCD, and I mean really accept, your depression will

lift eventually.

Fight the thought that you can not accept your thoughts. That is acceptance in my opinion.

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