bruces Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 I have emailed head office regarding reversal but even if it was granted i wouldnt know what to do such is the extent of my indecision,im constantly thinking that i dont want to be here i wish there was something where you could start life over without the devastating effects of suicide but i also think you wouldnt prolong the suffering of an animal like this,i know il never take any enjoyment out of life im struggling to see any alternative Link to comment
joanne123 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 I know how you feel today i don`t want to be either but we have to believe things will get better xx Link to comment
bruces Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 Im already dead inside i feel the rest is just the physical aspect of things Link to comment
Alexander Search Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 take your thoughts seriously. It is worth going to a Doctor and explaining how you feel. They might change your meds or up the dosage. When ive been suicidal ive found it helpful to read about it. "Night falls fast" by Kay Jamison is very good. You could try speaking to Samaritans if talking helps. Its important you reach out to people and dont go into a closed world. Please take care Link to comment
bruces Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 I dont feel i want help,i just want to go Link to comment
bruces Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 Ive now heard that the decision can possibly be reversed this has put even more spin in my head if i was to stay id be letting my dad down and possibly losing out on an oppurtunity my head is in bits,i just dont know where to turn?? Link to comment
carolj Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 You really have to sit down and discuss this with your Dad. Link to comment
bruces Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 I feel a bit better tonight the suicidal thoughts have eased a bit,im just beaten up over the decision Link to comment
Guest Annabel Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 That's great Bruces. Whichever decision you make there will be big advantages- if you stay in your job, you know that you get on okay there and are reasonably paid. If you change to your Dad's business you will also have quite good pay and be in charge of yourself. Rather than thinking you can't win either way (because of the disadvantages of either), try to see it as you can't lose, because there are ups to either choice! xx Link to comment
bruces Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 Ive weighed up the pros and cons and still cant decide the company i work for is due to be sold next year so things could change overnight if i were to be movf to a different dept it could be disastrous to me with my ocd but on the other hand i may not on another topic my ex girlfriend that i still think about all the time has asked if im going out at the wkend as she is going out and wants to meet up and im already starting to read too much into this do you think i should go or best not to put myself in a vunerable position Link to comment
bruces Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Still struggling bad with this decision feel i should maybe stay where i am just because its the easiest Link to comment
Guest neverend Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I'm so sorry you feel this way my friend. My heart goes out to you. I won't say that i know how you feel because that can be a kind of irritating thing to hear, even when a person means well, which it's important to remember they do. Because in reality no one REALLY knows how another person feels. But i will say that I am sure everyone on this website is or has felt simliar emotions. I know i do. As i write this i do. This will pass mate. Please hang in there. Link to comment
bruces Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 This paralasis when it comes to decision is so debilatating Link to comment
bruces Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 i cant live with this anxiety and stress anymore im cracking up i really am,i havnt the energy to deal with this anymore!! Link to comment
Guest legend Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 (edited) i long to die!! id make a desicion , and go for it re job. Edited November 5, 2012 by legend Link to comment
bruces Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 i cant make a decision i just cant!! Link to comment
Guest legend Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 i cant make a decision i just cant!! you can. Make it , because you chose the change, and now ocd screwed it. So the initial choice was i want a change, so you want that, take it, take the leap of faith. Let the ocd what ifs come in. Link to comment
bruces Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 i dont think i want to now Link to comment
Guest legend Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 i dont think i want to now Yes you do. ocd has prevented you, so you take that leap of faith matey. Its awful feeling knowing what to decide ( got the hat and tshirt ) so go with the gut instinct, roll the sleeves up make it a bruces 1 ocd 0 Link to comment
bruces Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 this is a really strange thing to say but its almost like i dont want to get better like i revel in my misery,does that make any sense at all???!!! Link to comment
bruces Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 like my misery is my comfort zone and i cant be bothered to be any different Link to comment
Guest legend Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 (edited) like my misery is my comfort zone and i cant be bothered to be any different yep very common, to afraid to change, but easy to say, difficult to implement Edited November 5, 2012 by legend Link to comment
Guest Daniel1992 Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I was going through a similar thing, thinking I didn't want to get better, but that can sometimes but just another trick OCD has up it's sleeve, it makes you doubt that you want to get better, it makes you doubt the future, after all your anxiety wants to know that you will be 100% fine and that the future will be perfect, and that is something it just can't get. At the moment I am trying to live every day as it comes and not get too bogged down with what will happen in the future. Link to comment
bruces Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 maybe with feeling this way im better to stay in my comfort zone and not heap greater amounts of anxiety on myself? Link to comment
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