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Guest Red89

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Hi. So I decided to join ocduk today!

I found out I had OCD when I was 17. I was going through exams at the time and my behaviours were focused a lot on perfection with writing, which led to a few failed exams, avoiding cracks, shadows, marks and uneven floors and counting. I struggled for a long time but it all seemed to 'go away' when I turned 20.

At 21 it began to creep back in the form of anxiety around germs. At the time I was working in a hospital and I eventually had to leave after being off work. I moved away from my home city to live with my boyfriend and things seemed much better with a change of scene. We were living with his parents and after a month or so I started struggling with OCD again. I had a lot if anxiety around germs and began feeling as though my boyfriends mum and partner were 'unclean'. Thing escalated to the point that I couldn't eat anything that wasn't in a sealed packet and felt 'safe'. I didnt feel comfortable sharing a bathroom with them so would visit my boyfriends sister everyday to shower etc. I also started getting unwanted unpleasant violent thoughts. I saw my new GP and she was great. I was referred for assessment but it took several months before an appointment came through. In this time me and my boyfriend had moved into our own place.

I started feeling slightly better but again I am struggling. I have a job which is becoming difficult as my fear of germs is taking over. I get extremely paranoid about what people think about me, especially at work. My boyfriend is great and will go through reassurance questions with me whenever I need. I have been referred for counselling and am waiting for an appointment at the moment, but things are taking their toll.

It's great to have a place I can share how I'm feeling and not worry that everyone will think I'm crazy. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read my ramblings!

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Guest sarah1984

Hello Red and welcome to the forum :original:

You mentioned you've been referred for counselling - can you just confirm whether it is actually counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)? The only recommended psychological treatment for OCD is CBT. Counselling is not recommended because it's much more helpful to confront your fears head on rather than simply talking them over. CBT is much more practical and "hands on" - it teaches sufferers effective strategies for dealing with distressing intrusive thoughts and eliminating compulsive behaviours. CBT for OCD should focus on exposure response prevention work (ERP). ERP involves deliberately confronting distressing thoughts/situations (exposure) while resisting the urge to use your usual compulsive behaviours (cleaning etc) to reduce your anxiety (response prevention). Through repeated exposure practice, something called "habituation" takes place. This means that the sufferer's tolerance for the anxiety provoking situations increases with each exposure and they cause less and less of a fearful reaction. Eventually, through repeated exposure, the thoughts/situations cause little to no anxiety and they don't interfere with the person's life. To find out more about CBT and how it is used to treat OCD take a look at the following page: http://www.ocduk.org/cognitive-behavioural-therapy. If you have been referred for counselling, not CBT, I would strongly recommend speaking to your doctor about cancelling the referral and being referred for CBT instead. In some parts of the country, it is possible to self-refer direct to your local IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies) team, without going via the GP, which could save you time. Here's a link to a post on self-referral: http://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?showtopic=50179.

It's great to hear that your boyfriend is so supportive - however I'm a little concerned by your reference to his providing you with reassurance whenever needed. Reassurance seeking behaviours are incredibly common amongst OCD sufferers but they only make your OCD much worse in the long run. Reassurance seeking may provide you with a temporary sense of relief but sooner or later your mind will find a flaw in the reassuring argument and a nasty voice pops up that says "But what if?" For every reassuring argument you can come up with, there will always be an accompanying "What if?" thought. Reassurance seeking is highly addictive and it keeps the sufferer locked into the vicious cycle of OCD. Reassurance seeking is a case of "short term gain for long term pain" while exposure work is a case of "short term pain for long term gain". To find out more about reassurance seeking and OCD take a look at the following page: http://www.ocdla.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-597#more-597. I would also recommend showing the article to your bf. If he really wants to help you in the long term, he needs to work at resisting your demands for reassurance.

You might be interested in reading this article on contamination obsessions: http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=59:contamination-and-ocd-qstronger-than-dirtq&catid=36:ocd-and-related-subjects-by-frederick-penzel-phd&Itemid=64. I would also recommend taking a look at some of the excellent OCD self-help books available. The following two books have dedicated sections on contamination obsessions and intrusive thoughts:

1. Break Free From OCD: Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with CBT by Dr Fiona Challacombe, Dr Victoria Bream Oldfield and Prof Paul Salkovskis: http://www.ocdshop.com/product_info.php?products_id=163

2. Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by David Veale and Rob Willson: http://www.ocdshop.com/product_info.php?products_id=12

Sarah

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