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Hi Everyone.

My names Rob I'm forty nine.

I've joined this forum as I need help.

This is the first time using any forum so please be patient if im making errors.

I have always had mental health issues. Throughout my life I have often been diagnosed with depression which at times has been quite debilitating,

I also have intrusive thoughts / images which are always self depreciating, typically involving sex and the death of loved ones. These in part ruined my marriage as they were particularly strong whenever I got close to my wife.

At the time these were noted as ruminating thoughts. They were so severe I fear their return, this is one reason i do not get emotionally close to people as they do indeed return.

Some years later after our split ( we remain married) having spent a fortune on storing things and living in oversized flats which can only be described as warehouses rather than a home I ran out of money. I ended up in a hostel for people that had been homeless. It was here that my illness was highlighted as I put so many things in my room the staff were concerned. I saw a brilliant counseller who felt I had OCD tendencies, however this was on the NHS so the sessions were limited.

My biggest problem is hoarding, I just dont seem to be able to throw items away. I seem to just get stuck and when this happens I seem to get stuck and do nothing at all. Why I need advice at the moment is I put an awful lot of my belongings in my Brothers loft and its now time to empty it.

I can manage to throw things but very little at a time. I want to do this but cant do it on my own.

Any help / suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Rob

Edited by Rob Gardner
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Hi Rob,

Welcome to the fora :)

The fact that the NHS sessions helped is a very positive sign - do you have a GP? I believe that in cases where CBT (cognitive-behavioural therapy) has helped in the past, the NHS allows x number of "top-up" sessions to build on the previous successes - your GP would probably be your first point of call to ask for ore help. Is there anyone you would trust enough to help you go through the items in your brother's loft and decide which should be kept?

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Hi Northern Star,

Thank you for your reply its helped in that its encouraging that others are there for me. My ex is the only person that I can rely on to understand and " be my sensible head" she is always there for me and I cannot under estimate the time she puts in.

Whats stressing me so much at the moment is the demands of my sister in law who wants the loft emptied now - it has been around four years.

The worst part is the stuck part it completely overwhelms and I literally do nothing apart from wander around stressing.

However I do have flashes of clarity and i'm going to try to throw things today ( to make room for more ) I will indeed contact my GP and of all things Ive been offered another loft, but thats only a plan B. My intention is to throw as I go ending up with the things that I require in my very small flat.

Yesterday I didnt really get anywhere in terms of actually throwing things away. Today my ex is coming over and we've agreed that she will throw what she considers to be rubbish and of no use or purpose, I must then allow 50% minimum to go. I know we're meant to do use independantly but this is the best I can do at the moment.

Thanks for the support

Rob

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Guest sarah1984

Hello Rob,

Good luck for the big clear out today! I'm glad to hear your ex will be helping you. Yes, the ultimate goal is to build up to throwing stuff out yourself but I think allowing your ex to chuck things out for you is a big start. I would also recommend following Northern Star's advice and asking for further CBT sessions specific to hoarding disorder. I don't know that much about hoarding myself but there are a number of books available from the OCD UK online shop that you might find useful in particular http://www.ocdshop.com/product_info.php?cPath=1&products_id=159 and http://www.ocdshop.com/product_info.php?cPath=1&products_id=99

Sarah

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Guest FobicFairy

Hi Rob,

I think it's a really good idea to get someone to help you, they can be the voice of reason whilst you are stuck not knowing what is rubbish and what is useful. If it works out well you could get the stuff from your brothers loft and bring that into the house ready for sorting, then your ex could come and help again. In the long term it would be good to be able to throw things away little and often to keep the hoard to a minimum.

Lets hope with the right support from your GP etc you will have a much better year this time round.

Take care, FF x

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I apologise for the late reply, but the holiday got in the way and I have been to my Brothers to collect another carful. This swamps my tiny flat and renders me "stuck" I've made a appointment to see my GP on the 14th Jan in the hope of seeing the counsellor again. I will get the two books recommended by Sarah1984 from the library.

In the mean time I will chip away at throwing my things away. I have already found my documentation given to me by the counsellor which I'm reading through, which will help and ultimately I know I "just have to do it" getting through the anxiety. On the plus because there is such at lot of stuff from many years ago which has been stored for five years there is quite a lot of things that I can see need to be thrown. Its just doing it, I can throw things of value more readily than a small pot of rusty tacks - because they may be useful.

I have looked through the forums for support and found these http://www.youtube.com/user/everybodyhasabrain?feature=watch.

Thanks again for your help, By reading the forums I identify with so much its really been beneficial and I shall keep returning

Rob

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