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Repetitive/ torturous/ racing thoughts OCD?


Guest comfortchick

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Guest comfortchick

Hello

I was wondering if anyone can help. I have always had what I can only call torturous thoughts - its as though my mind is a filmreel and constantly replays moments of pain over and over again and constantly - my imagination is pretty wild and unfortunately this feeds into it. For the last year and a half I have been haunted/ tortured by my mind about my ex fiance - he was a pretty **** human being who in hindsight was awful to me and I very much want to move forward but its as though my mind won't let me. I don't want to think about him anymore but I don't seem to have any control over my mind - every thought connects instantly to a memory/ thought of him. I thought that I needed to get away from reminders of him so I left my job in which I was very successful - that was a big mistake as I can't seem to find a job which is making me very down and I feel quite demoralised and without purpose. I am also selling my house which we shared together in order to get away from the memories. I have lost nearly everything in my life and I thought this would help me to stop thinking about him all the time but it hasn't and in fact its got worse because I am less occupied. I can't seem to help but torture myself and its really quite exhausting and I am becoming increasingly down about it and questioning my purpose in this world. I have always suffered these thoughts and beat myself up over things over and over again so I do feel that it is some condition within me that I need to address and now I very much need to fix this so I can find some hope that I can be happy and get over this bad time in my life.

I was on prozac last year for a few months - I don't want to go back on pills as I don't feel that they helped the problem - they just numbed me a bit but the thoughts still raced and raced in my mind so going back on them isn't going to help the root of the problem.

Does anyone else struggle with this/ understand what it is and how to stop them?

Any advise/ thoughts greatly appreciated.

P

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Guest Christian002

Racing thoughts in my head, and obsessional thinking is what prompted me to see the doctor as I had had enough, it was making me depressed. The harder I tried not to think, then the more I did, because your already thinking about it. It's the first thing I did when I woke up until I went to bed. Unfortunately I couldn't see a way out, so accepted the pills that the doctor gave me. I've never tried any sort of therapy, so can't comment on that. But I do know that the antidepressants are slowly blocking these thoughts from bothering me. Yes they do numb you a bit, and it isn't the answer long term, but I think there comes a point where being numbed does help. That's my opinion anyway, and without the antidepressants I think I would of fell deeper and deeper into the dark world that I was falling into. And I didn't want to go there. I wish you all the best!

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Guest comfortchick

Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it. Is this a symptom of OCD do you know? My thoughts also are from first thing in the morning until i go to sleep (the time in bed trying to get to sleep is by far the worst) and they effect my dreams. I also feel very held back and down about this and I just want them to stop now. Its as though they creep up on me - how the mind works really is a minefield as I am such a logical person but when it comes to this logic doesn't work - its just a real lack of control. I hope you are feeling better and that you are getting stronger - find pleasure in the small things and take care!

Racing thoughts in my head, and obsessional thinking is what prompted me to see the doctor as I had had enough, it was making me depressed. The harder I tried not to think, then the more I did, because your already thinking about it. It's the first thing I did when I woke up until I went to bed. Unfortunately I couldn't see a way out, so accepted the pills that the doctor gave me. I've never tried any sort of therapy, so can't comment on that. But I do know that the antidepressants are slowly blocking these thoughts from bothering me. Yes they do numb you a bit, and it isn't the answer long term, but I think there comes a point where being numbed does help. That's my opinion anyway, and without the antidepressants I think I would of fell deeper and deeper into the dark world that I was falling into. And I didn't want to go there. I wish you all the best!

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Guest Christian002

Ocd comes in all shapes and forms, so yes I would say it can be a symptom of ocd, but im no expert either. I hope you get the right help and overcome this! Thank you for the kind words :)

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Guest sarah1984

Repetitive, torturous, racing thoughts pretty much sums up my whole OCD experience! From your posts on this thread, I get the impression that you want to be able to control these thoughts about your ex and I just wanted to warn you that attempts at thought control can seriously backfire. When someone first experiences intrusive thoughts, it's natural to want to get rid of them asap. Unfortunately, the more you fight the thoughts the more persistent they become. There's also a scientific explanation for this. When you are afraid to have a specific thought again your body moves into defence mode and starts to produce adrenaline. This causes your muscles to tense, your heart rate and breathing to increase and your thoughts start to race. And what thoughts come to mind? How not to have that particular thought again! When you are scared of your intrusive thoughts and you deliberately seek to prevent their reoccurrence, your body's response actually brings the thoughts to mind.

Here's a list of the ways in which your thoughts and behaviour can encourage an obsession to return:

  • If you are afraid of your obsessions
  • If you actively fight back against them
  • If you deliberately seek to avoid situations that might remind you of them
  • If you set yourself a goal of 'never ever' having a thought again
  • If you worry about the next time you might have an obsession

A well-known example of the difficulties of thought control is the 'white bear story'. Try as hard as you can not to think of a white polar bear. Do not think about its furry white coat, its shiny black nose and the cute cubs snuggling up to their mum. What happened? I bet you couldn't stop thinking about that polar bear! If it's so difficult to block thoughts about neutral topics such as polar bears you can see how difficult it is to suppress thoughts that cause us distress.

So if thought suppression doesn't work, what does? The most successful strategy is to accept the presence of the intrusive thoughts and to let them be without trying to push them away or engage with them at all. Obviously this is much easier said than done! The best way to learn to do this is via a course of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). To learn about CBT and how it is used to treat OCD visit the following page: http://www.ocduk.org...vioural-therapy. The therapist will teach you exposure response prevention techniques (ERP). ERP involves confronting your intrusive thoughts head on (exposure) while resisting the urge to use your usual compulsions to reduce your anxiety (response prevention). The idea behind ERP is that through repeated exposure to distressing thoughts, something called 'habituation' happens. This means that the sufferer's tolerance for the thoughts increases with each exposure and they cause less and less of a fearful reaction. Eventually, through repeated exposure, the thoughts cause little to no anxiety and they don't interfere with the sufferer's life.

The two important things to remember about intrusive thoughts are:

1. It's not the thoughts that are the problem but the way in which you respond to them.
2. You may not be able to control the presence of the thoughts but you can change the way in which you respond to them.

I'd strongly recommend speaking to your GP about the possibility of a referral for CBT. You might also find the following articles helpful:

1. OCD and thought suppression: http://www.ocdla.com/blog/ocd-thought-suppression-1249#more-1249

2. Accepting intrusive thoughts: http://www.ocdla.com/blog/ocd-anxiety-resistance-1766#more-1766

I'm not exactly sure about what kind of intrusive thoughts you are currently experiencing but you might also find this article on relationship obsessions interesting: http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=74:loves-me-loves-me-not-relationship-obsessions&catid=36:ocd-and-related-subjects-by-frederick-penzel-phd&Itemid=64

I have to agree with you that medication alone doesn't have much of an impact on intrusive thoughts. I found that medication took the edge off my anxiety and improved my mood but it really did nothing for the thoughts. Only CBT can teach you effective strategies for dealing with the thoughts. I've also found that mindfulness helped reduce my anxiety and calm the racing thoughts. I would particularly recommend "The Mindful Way Through Depression" which comes with a guided CD of practice exercises.

It's a shame that you left your previous job and I can understand why being unemployed would make you feel more demoralised. I hope you'll be able to find a new job soon. In the meantime, try and keep busy with plenty of distractions - having too much empty time on your hands to ruminate will only make the obsessive thoughts worse.

Good luck,

Sarah

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Guest comfortchick

Repetitive, torturous, racing thoughts pretty much sums up my whole OCD experience! From your posts on this thread, I get the impression that you want to be able to control these thoughts about your ex and I just wanted to warn you that attempts at thought control can seriously backfire. When someone first experiences intrusive thoughts, it's natural to want to get rid of them asap. Unfortunately, the more you fight the thoughts the more persistent they become. There's also a scientific explanation for this. When you are afraid to have a specific thought again your body moves into defence mode and starts to produce adrenaline. This causes your muscles to tense, your heart rate and breathing to increase and your thoughts start to race. And what thoughts come to mind? How not to have that particular thought again! When you are scared of your intrusive thoughts and you deliberately seek to prevent their reoccurrence, your body's response actually brings the thoughts to mind.

Here's a list of the ways in which your thoughts and behaviour can encourage an obsession to return:

  • If you are afraid of your obsessions
  • If you actively fight back against them
  • If you deliberately seek to avoid situations that might remind you of them
  • If you set yourself a goal of 'never ever' having a thought again
  • If you worry about the next time you might have an obsession

A well-known example of the difficulties of thought control is the 'white bear story'. Try as hard as you can not to think of a white polar bear. Do not think about its furry white coat, its shiny black nose and the cute cubs snuggling up to their mum. What happened? I bet you couldn't stop thinking about that polar bear! If it's so difficult to block thoughts about neutral topics such as polar bears you can see how difficult it is to suppress thoughts that cause us distress.

So if thought suppression doesn't work, what does? The most successful strategy is to accept the presence of the intrusive thoughts and to let them be without trying to push them away or engage with them at all. Obviously this is much easier said than done! The best way to learn to do this is via a course of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). To learn about CBT and how it is used to treat OCD visit the following page: http://www.ocduk.org...vioural-therapy. The therapist will teach you exposure response prevention techniques (ERP). ERP involves confronting your intrusive thoughts head on (exposure) while resisting the urge to use your usual compulsions to reduce your anxiety (response prevention). The idea behind ERP is that through repeated exposure to distressing thoughts, something called 'habituation' happens. This means that the sufferer's tolerance for the thoughts increases with each exposure and they cause less and less of a fearful reaction. Eventually, through repeated exposure, the thoughts cause little to no anxiety and they don't interfere with the sufferer's life.

The two important things to remember about intrusive thoughts are:

1. It's not the thoughts that are the problem but the way in which you respond to them.

2. You may not be able to control the presence of the thoughts but you can change the way in which you respond to them.

I'd strongly recommend speaking to your GP about the possibility of a referral for CBT. You might also find the following articles helpful:

1. OCD and thought suppression: http://www.ocdla.com/blog/ocd-thought-suppression-1249#more-1249

2. Accepting intrusive thoughts: http://www.ocdla.com/blog/ocd-anxiety-resistance-1766#more-1766

I'm not exactly sure about what kind of intrusive thoughts you are currently experiencing but you might also find this article on relationship obsessions interesting: http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=74:loves-me-loves-me-not-relationship-obsessions&catid=36:ocd-and-related-subjects-by-frederick-penzel-phd&Itemid=64

I have to agree with you that medication alone doesn't have much of an impact on intrusive thoughts. I found that medication took the edge off my anxiety and improved my mood but it really did nothing for the thoughts. Only CBT can teach you effective strategies for dealing with the thoughts. I've also found that mindfulness helped reduce my anxiety and calm the racing thoughts. I would particularly recommend "The Mindful Way Through Depression" which comes with a guided CD of practice exercises.

It's a shame that you left your previous job and I can understand why being unemployed would make you feel more demoralised. I hope you'll be able to find a new job soon. In the meantime, try and keep busy with plenty of distractions - having too much empty time on your hands to ruminate will only make the obsessive thoughts worse.

Good luck,

Sarah

Thank you Sarah for this information - I have only just really started to recognise this as a problem (I just thought it was hurt for so long) and so clearly have a lot to learn and research but these pointers are really helpful. I am also now awaiting a referral for a course of CBT. It is so frustrating as the logical part of my brain wants to move on and not spend energy replaying the trauma's of my past relationship and yet I have no control when they constantly pop up and kick me in the goolies. I have to say the thought of never being able to get rid of them and learning to live with them right now terrifies me as I can't at this point imagine that I can continue to have these haunting thoughts which hurt so much but hopefully I will improve. Part of me over the last year has wished that Eternal sunshine on the spotless mind is possible - just to go into my mind and remove this part of my life - I know that everyone says that's not healthy but I'm not sure my current situation is either. I hope to be able to at least understand this problem and learn to live with it. Thank you for taking the time to provide me with this guidance.

Best

Chick

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