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Feeling so down.


Guest Nathan

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Guest Nathan

Hey, i'm nathan and i'm new btw. I've had OCD for as long as I can remember. But recently, the last couple of months, i feel i'm taking a very bad turn for the worse. The intrusive thoughts are becoming worse, sometimes I try to resist but they make me panic so much. The compulsions are getting worse too, i'm spending more time on them every day and I don't feel like I can go five minutes without doing a compulsion. I've got a few new ones and the old ones are worse. It's really making me so upset, and I just don't feel any point in anything anymore. Life feels like more of a hassle than a pleasure and I just don't really feel like i want to do anything. I used to play games a lot but now i just can't be bothered. It also upsets me how i sometimes get thoughts that go along the lines of "if i killed myself, i wouldn't have to deal with this" i don't think i'd do it but i just never thought i'd ever be this 'bad'. I try sometimes saying to myself, today is going to be a good day and i'm going to be happy, but i just give up because it really feels too hard. I can't deal with it anymore, help :(

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Guest regainyourself

Hi Nathan,

First, I'd suggest you talk to your GP about getting a counsellor or therapist. Also, let people know about your problem and how you feel.

I feel that I can relate to some extent. December/January of this year was one of the worst times of my life (if not the worst time in my life). I struggled horribly and my obsessions and compulsions sky-rocketed.

What I suggest you do is that when you're feeling particularly bad, you tell yourself: "I'm in a bad phase, but everyone, even those without OCD, have bad phases, and that I can and will get out of it".

Day by day, if you suddenly feel worse you say "I'm in a slump, but I've been in a slump before, and I'll get out of it."

Are you in school? Do you have exams/coursework coming up?

If so, then it is very very likely that the stress of schoolwork is making your OCD worse. Tell yourself "my OCD is worse because of the stress, I just need to get through the stress". Everyone suffers from stress. What happens with OCD sufferers is that they take themselves out of the real world and isolate them in their OCD world. Tell yourself that you are still a normal person, and that your OCD is just another thing that you have to deal with in life.

With regards to you not having the effort to do things, I would say that you really need to battle and say "YES, I WILL DO THIS". Sit down and make yourself play a game for a set amount of time. By playing it, you are beating the OCD in small steps. The games will take your mind off things, even just for a short while.

I know it often feels like the effort you put in is going to waste, but you have to simply think "the more effort I put in, the better things will get". Because it's true. You need to make a conscious effort to overcome the OCD.

The OCD thought about suicide is one of the most horrible thoughts, but you simply have to recognise that it is irrational. Think about all the things in life that are good and are rational.

Good luck :original:

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Guest Nathan

Hi, i've been at CAMHS since i was twelve, it has made significant improvement to me in the past but as of late it doesn't really help. Since around a year ago I haven't had any actual therapy as such, just a doctor overseeing my medication. My mum and dad know about it too, but while they do their best I don't think they can still understand the pain of it tbh. I don't really think i've ever had a bad phase as worse as this before so it's really getting me down, but I do try. :( It feels like a rollercoaster to be honest, one minute i could be feeling really happy and optimistic but then later in the day i feel really down, lethargic and just sad. I'm not at school though and I have no exams either fortunately, one positive thing! :) It is a tiring strain on the mind, no matter what aspect you are dealing with, and I just thought i'd come here for some advice and support, it might hopefully help :)

Good luck in whichever stage of the struggle you are at too!

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Guest Madison

Hi Nathan

Yeah I feel like my ocd is getting worse, its like there's not 1 minute of the day when I don't have an ocd thought at the back of my head like I have to remember some reassurance seeking i have to do or something. I dont self harm, but sometimes I do get suicidal feelings. Are you still going to camhs now?

Madison :original:

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Guest Nathan

Hi Madison :) I do feel like that as well, when I try to resist doing something it just stays there and nags at me and I find it really hard to cope with... I know it's supposed to be like that at first, so does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the anxiety until it finally goes? I haven't ever self harmed either, but I do get the suicidal thoughts. It is really upsetting but we just have to learn to cope I suppose. And yeah I do, sort of. They just prescribe and monitor my medication atm, but I used to have CBT with them usually once a week ish until about a year and a half ish ago. I can do it, but i find it really hard to plan out what i should do and how to cope when i don't have a therapist supporting me. :(

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Guest Madison

Hi Nathan

Have you had ERP? It's specifically to treat ocd. I had that, before they stopped my treatment in november last year :(

What I do to cope is distract myself, sometimes i still have to do the ritual, but sometimes i forget about it. I like to go on the internet go outside, maybe if you like sports you could just lock yourself outside, go for a run, I know it might be a stupid idea but I sometimes just need to get as far away from the thing I need to do a ritual with as poss.

Madi :)

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Guest Nathan

Yeah i've tried it a few times before, sometimes successful, sometimes not. Why did they stop your treatment? I've done that before, take my mind off of it by doing something else I like to take my mind off of the anxiety. I used to do that because it made it easier to cope with but recently it just makes me more anxious :( i've been feeling a little better today, which is good, but I still think i've a fair bit of a way to go before i'm back on track :)

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Guest Madison

They stopped my treatment coz apparently they thought they had already taught me strategies and stuff and they said as my home life is bad there wouldnt be any point giving me therapy :/ Which kinda feels like they're just giving u on me, and ditching me when I really need help. Now my ocd gets worse everyday, I cant say I got better when i had ERP but it was good to have someone to talk to about what compulsions i had in the week and have someone talk to me about ho i could not do the rital and stuff. It was good to have someone a trained phsychologist who knew a lot about ocd and who understood what my ocd was

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Guest Nathan

That's stupid, they shouldn't stop your treatment based on that! I know it might affect your OCD what happens at home, but they're dealing with your OCD, not your home life. I know someone else who had the same thing happen to them, because their mum had OCD as well and was reluctant to cure it too, they discharged her. Have you thought about trying to find a private therapist or councillor? I haven't really had any experience with them, but they'll be quite similar to camhs therapists, and it'd be better than nothing if you can get hold of one :) I agree though, even if you aren't really getting that much better now and again, talking to a trained professional is nice!

I'm sure the rest of the forum will agree when I say you can talk to us if you want, we're all fairly familiar with OCD too you know ;)

Nathan :)

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Guest Madison

Hi Nathan :)

Yeah my mum have tried to find a private therapist at the priory, do you know the priory? Anyway, do you knnow what happened? We went to the firts private session, and we told the counseller about my ocd and stuff and she said she'd get back to us. Well, this was 2 weeks ago. You will not believe this. Camhs has stopped me getting any treatment anywhere! because the private therapist wrote to camhs to get info about my ocd and stuff, and then the private therapist said that they cant give me treatment because camhs said no!

Thank you, it's nice to know that someone cares even if camhs ho are supposed to care don't!

Madi :p

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Nathan

Wow I forgot it's been like a week since i've been on here! that's ****, i've heard of the priory, not sure what they're supposed to be like? I kind of know how you feel, i have to go back to camhs this thursday where no matter what i say about how horrible i've been feeling recently, they'll just give me more meds, and nothing'll change -_- yeah it's okay, i know i haven't been around much but im sure everyone looks out for each other round here! :)

Edited by Nathan
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Guest Madison

Hi the proiry treats mental health, but it's private, so you have to pay. We had to go there coz camhs wouldnt let me have treatment, but now i cant have treatment full stop :/ so now im just kinda....

anyway are you getting CBT or ERP at camhs? ERP is helpful, but loads of people say they have CBT sooooo

Yeah I know but they say that meds combined with treatment is meant to be most effective? I took fluoxitine but that didnt mae any difference so now taking sertraline. but i always miss it sometimes coz it makes me a kinda sick :s

my mum suggested going to a different centre and not telling them id been treated at camhs, coz i really need the tratment as my ocd is really bad, but i dont like the idea of lying tbh...

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Guest Nathan

Yeah, i've heard about them but i thought they were only institutionalising people there? like so they have to live there and stuff. I suppose that is one of the few options you have left though, just think about it though, you're lying for the good, it's not going to harm anyone and only benefit you :) if you're still uncomfortable about it though, have you thought about getting a private councillor just to talk about general anxiety? you won't need a referral or anything like that for that, my mum's looking into it now for me, i'll let you know how it goes?

I've had both though, one time they made me go wash my hands the wrong way at one of the sinks and not let me go back. :l Meds and treatment is the best though, there's not that much point in meds if you haven't had cbt personally! I take sertraline too as well, first one i've had and nearing the maximum dose. done some good but could be a lot better from here still. :/

Nathan :)

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Guest Madison

Hi nathan

No they do mental health services but its like £100 a session so yah it is quite expensive. My um once suggested i go into a menal hospital and I as just like: ' :yucky: .....'

Yeah I am actually just thinking of asking my mum to go to a different hospital, like they won't let me have treatment and I can't just get worse and worse, until I'm planning to top myself with my sertraline tablets :/ I'm not to that point yet, but sometimes I feel like they don't care or think it's not serious unless I say I self harm or are plannign to kill myself, then they take it seriously, but why do hey have to wait until the young person is feeling like that until they even bother to do something?

Yeah I'd love to hear how it goes, with me though, my ocd is making my anxiety get worse, so ultimately the root of the problem is my ocd.

I'm just taking the minimum dose for it, but it's not much help if I don' have any treatment. Are you getting any treatment now in term of ERP or CBT?

Hope it goes well for you!

Madi :D

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Guest Madison

btw have you ever been on the childline website? it's for 7 to 18 and there are a lot of 17 and 18 year olds on there, so it's jus a suggestion :)

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Guest Osiring

Hi, Nathan. I know exactly how you feel, I end up giving up too and I get so attached people and with all my cleaning. I think that all of the suggestions everyone has given here are great. Do you have any hobbies? Feel free to message me, I'm 17 years old guy too so I know how it all feels.

Alex :)

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