How OCD affects relationships

[Guest Mrsp]

I think for anyone I've been with OCD has been difficult for them to understand. The sad reality is they leave. I don't mean that in a self pity way. It's just a simple fact.

If I ever get into another relationship I want it to be with someone who is willing to work on things, not give up. The stress of losing someone is too much to bear and stress sends my OCD off the chart. That's a vicious cycle I don't want to be in again.

The supportive non-sufferers are out there. My husband doesn't have OCD and he has been my rock. The thing is, when we met, I didn't have any notable signs of OCD. It was about 6 months after we met it truly raised its ugly head. He knows the person I am, and that I am not these thoughts. You'll find Mrs. Right one day

[Guest PaulM]

The supportive non-sufferers are out there. My husband doesn't have OCD and he has been my rock. The thing is, when we met, I didn't have any notable signs of OCD. It was about 6 months after we met it truly raised its ugly head. He knows the person I am, and that I am not these thoughts. You'll find Mrs. Right one day

It's very comforting to know they are out there. For those who have them, you're very fortunate. I recently saw a video about Howie Mandel and his struggle with OCD. His wife seemed very supportive and it amazed me there are people like that.

Maybe there is someone out there like that for me, maybe not. I don't look anymore, so hopefully one day she'll find me.

[Guest Mrsp]

It's very comforting to know they are out there. For those who have them, you're very fortunate. I recently saw a video about Howie Mandel and his struggle with OCD. His wife seemed very supportive and it amazed me there are people like that.

Maybe there is someone out there like that for me, maybe not. I don't look anymore, so hopefully one day she'll find me.

There's loads of them out there. Some of us have found them. I suppose it helps that we met them before the OCD took hold as they fell in love with the real us. Then it's worse that they knew the real us because they long for that person back. I know I do as well

[Guest OhThatCd]

I'll tell you simple story Dear Brother I had intrusive thoughts telling me That I don't Love my Girlfriend, She left me it's been 2months I still miss her and Love her... A revealing aspect of OCD don't worry Brother don't listen them "Put your thoughts to sleep, Do not Let them cast a shadow over the Moon of your heart" Rumi.

[Guest Mioara]

I think for anyone I've been with OCD has been difficult for them to understand. The sad reality is they leave. I don't mean that in a self pity way. It's just a simple fact.

If I ever get into another relationship I want it to be with someone who is willing to work on things, not give up. The stress of losing someone is too much to bear and stress sends my OCD off the chart. That's a vicious cycle I don't want to be in again.

Dont think that i left because i couldnt cope anymore... I would come back to him in this moment if he asks me to,but he kicked me out of his life!!! I love him and i cry everymoment when i am not on xanax,coz i miss him so badly... now i am playing my last card: i am giving him what he asked for few weeks ago: a period of time with no contact between us,no calls,no messages...not to know what other does...It is hard for me to act like this....but this is what he wants,and this is what i am giving to him,.... and even tho he told me it is over....i still hope that after few weeks he will miss me so badly and he will ask me to come back to him....

[Guest Mioara]

He sent me this message:" Mioara,its not working anymore,i dont want to continue this situation and i can't. I will help u to find an appartment to live in,i will give u money,in maximum onr month i will buy a house and a car for you and u have to continue your life without me. I am still not completly recovered after the breakdown from last nite"...... how do u interpretate this message?? Is it or it is not over from his point of view?

[Guest Mrsp]

He sent me this message:" Mioara,its not working anymore,i dont want to continue this situation and i can't. I will help u to find an appartment to live in,i will give u money,in maximum onr month i will buy a house and a car for you and u have to continue your life without me. I am still not completly recovered after the breakdown from last nite"...... how do u interpretate this message?? Is it or it is not over from his point of view?

It's hard to tell as we don't know him like you do. Maybe give him some space, if you feel that you can, reject his offer (this sounds like it could add stress to an already volatile situation) and, as you said, not contact him until he makes the move to contact you. If he is serious about ending it, then he won't contact you and hopefully the time apart will give him time to think about what he wants. Good luck x

[Guest PaulM]

Dont think that i left because i couldnt cope anymore... I would come back to him in this moment if he asks me to,but he kicked me out of his life!!! I love him and i cry everymoment when i am not on xanax,coz i miss him so badly... now i am playing my last card: i am giving him what he asked for few weeks ago: a period of time with no contact between us,no calls,no messages...not to know what other does...It is hard for me to act like this....but this is what he wants,and this is what i am giving to him,.... and even tho he told me it is over....i still hope that after few weeks he will miss me so badly and he will ask me to come back to him....

I'm sorry Mioara. My comment was not directed at what you're going though. I didn't think you left for that reason.

On the contrary, you sound like you really want to make things work. I really really hope things work out for you and that he does realize he misses you.

[Guest PaulM]

What type of personality r u PAUL ?

Maybe u may need to find a partner with the same personality as my mum or hubbie?

Some 1 strong and gr8 in a crisis?... Maybe you look for passive partners .. ???

When what u really need is some 1 that is 50/50 both .. Or a strong woman who can takeover and put up with your type of OCD??? Just a thought coming from a woman lol...

Hmmm. I don't really know what type of personality I am. I think I'm INFJ.

I don't think I look for a specific personality type in others. Usually what happens is they are nice at first, get bossy, I stand up for myself when pushed too far and end up looking like the bad guy... lol.

[Guest Mrsp]

. I think I'm INFJ.

.

???

[Guest PaulM]

Sorry Mrsp. It's from a test called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). There's a questionnaire that breaks people into 16 different personality types. It's available online. Actually there was a thread on here about it recently...

http://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?showtopic=56062

[Guest Mrsp]

Sorry Mrsp. It's from a test called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). There's a questionnaire that breaks people into 16 different personality types. It's available online. Actually there was a thread on here about it recently...

http://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?showtopic=56062

But what did your acronym stand for?

[Guest PaulM]

INFJ - Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judgement

[Guest Mrsp]

INFJ - Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judgement

I still don't feel much more knowledgable lol

[Guest PaulM]

It's okay. I'm not good at explaining it. It's worth looking up though. I've done it a few times in the past, be it with work or various therapists. Basically based on the answers given it categorizes you into one of two variable for each of the 4 letters, giving 16 possible combinations. Some people find it offers some value in how different people can be.

Edited August 30, 2013 by PaulM