will this anxiety ocd etc go ? (some sexual content)

[Guest sigh1]

be better going to bed with a girl but even that feels hard to say for some reason and i am already thinking or would i preffer a man which i wouldnt want to at all, but saying that i could be lying, same old i am sure you are all sick of me repeating the same things but so am i and if someone says why do it? i dont know why i do, sorry

[Guest sigh1]

just before i am going to bed went on a chat site to see the girls who are online and theres a transexual there theres always been anxiety and ocd with them aswell as the gay now i feel like crying and even more down going through these thoughts saying would i want him doing this etc feels like i would even though i am saying no.....

[Guest sigh1]

putting myself through so much here i dunno if its a scared feeling or a a good feeling but i do feel like i am getting aroused but i keep going over it and i am now crying like an idiot i want girls not any man its like i know or feel i am gay because of all this, i wanna die i hope i dont wake up tomorrow or something happens to me which is instant and no pain i cant live like this at all i am making myself here but i will still be going to bed putting myself through stuff i want girls but everything feels a lie and its hard to think its ocd it could just be me

[Guest sigh1]

after crying and still am a bit and will be again when i get in bed going through the thoughts now dont seem as bad it feels like i wouldnt but theres alwyas gonna be that doubt anyway think i have posted enough now

[Guest HateMyLife]

The first thing that could help you get through this is to stop going on the website to look at the girls. You are obviously trying to reassure yourself which is never going to help you recover.

[Guest sigh1]

how is it reassuring ? i wanna talk to girls etc

[Guest sigh1]

i have had great feelings about girls and prayed to keep them feelings there, so i know i am straight and its girls i want, but when the dark side comes it feels like i dont, how does ocd actually make you feel like the thoughts are real,

because i dont feel disgusted about the gay thoughts that feels like a problem because i feel i should feel disgusted about them, ocd is very confusing, once you put a question in your head and answer it its like its a lie or something and feels true that its a lie etc

[Guest Idiot1979]

Your complusion seems to be checking you aren't gay, and then checking you are straight.

The problem being you can't do one without the other.

The key to winning, is to live naturally. Not compulsively.

how is it reassuring ? i wanna talk to girls etc

[Guest sigh1]

Your complusion seems to be checking you aren't gay, and then checking you are straight.

The problem being you can't do one without the other.

The key to winning, is to live naturally. Not compulsively.

not sure what this means by live naturally?

[Guest Idiot1979]

i have had great feelings about girls and prayed to keep them feelings there, so i know i am straight and its girls i want, but when the dark side comes it feels like i dont, how does ocd actually make you feel like the thoughts are real,

because i dont feel disgusted about the gay thoughts that feels like a problem because i feel i should feel disgusted about them, ocd is very confusing, once you put a question in your head and answer it its like its a lie or something and feels true that its a lie etc

The key to getting better is to be happy that you like girls. See that as a positive. And accept that being "bi" is a worst case scenario here. Which wouldn't end your life even if was true.

Once you do that, you'll realize you are actually free to date anyone you want for the rest of your life, and don't have to do anything you don't want to. The only thing telling you otherwise, is the OCD in your brain.

And once you get to that stage, you'll realize you're not even bi.

[Guest Idiot1979]

not sure what this means by live naturally?

The stress, anxiety, compulsion/checking creates the emotion you are feeling(thinking you are gay). The more you do it, and test yourself, the less straight you will feel.

The only way to beat it is to beat the complusion. Accept it's a compulsion, and your mind playing tricks, and move on

[Guest sigh1]

nar i cant accept bi or anything like that, no chance of doing that, i though ocd was supposed to be make you believe or think things you dont want? yet it sounds like you have to accept these thoughts ? or actually start saying you are gay you are bi etc ?

[Guest Idiot1979]

The stress, anxiety, compulsion/checking creates the emotion you are feeling(thinking you are gay). The more you do it, and test yourself, the less straight you will feel.

The only way to beat it is to beat the complusion. Accept it's a compulsion, and your mind playing tricks, and move on

This isn't easy. But no mental condition is.

[Guest sigh1]

The stress, anxiety, compulsion/checking creates the emotion you are feeling(thinking you are gay). The more you do it, and test yourself, the less straight you will feel.

The only way to beat it is to beat the complusion. Accept it's a compulsion, and your mind playing tricks, and move on

ye people have said this loads mate but when i get go through thoughts and saying no to them it feels like its a lie which must be the ocd, just like now got a random thought about being in bed with a man how is it possible to accept that is ok or what you want to do when its not? yet it feels like you do but it really isnt? it doesnt even sound possible to accept oh ye i wanna do that i cannot do that really i cant do it,

its just like erp therapy or whatever its called, if i start saying i am gay etc i feel it will make me become gay because i have to agree to the thoughts etc

[Guest Idiot1979]

nar i cant accept bi or anything like that, no chance of doing that, i though ocd was supposed to be make you believe or think things you dont want? yet it sounds like you have to accept these thoughts ? or actually start saying you are gay you are bi etc ?

I don't mean literally accept it (as it's not true). I mean stop caring about it as much. Become indifferent to the prospect.

The only reason you're obsessed with being gay, is because it's not who you are. And you feel you're being forced into something you're not. And you think the only way to win is to fight back.

But the more you fight back, the deeper you move into the OCD that's creating the situation.

[Guest Idiot1979]

I'm not saying accept that you're "bi". As you're not.

Bi people, frankly, don't care about being bi. They don't get stressed by it. They don't fight it. They enjoy it. Thinking about a man makes them happy, and relaxed. They enjoy the experience. This is quite obviously not you!

I'm saying, become indifferent to the thoughts. Stop caring about them so much. Remember "they're only thoughts" and all people have them.

All people have brief gay fanatasies/thoughts. And have brief thoughts about killing people. And have brief thoughts about various other bizarre things.

Do you know the difference between you (with OCD) and them (without)?

They move on from the thought, and accept the mind plays tricks sometimes. And they understand that all people do the same. And they don't care. And within a 30 minutes they've forgotten about it.

People with OCD can't move on from the same thoughts. They obsess, and get scared, and check, and think. So they never forget them. And the thoughts become almost real.

That's the important thing to remember. Everyone has weird thoughts. It's human nature. Your problem is you take them too seriously, and never move on from them.

Edited September 17, 2013 by Idiot1979

[Guest sigh1]

so i am in bed with a girl sleeping and i get a thought of wishing i was close to a man or cuddling a man i am just supposed to say oh right that thought is ok and go asleep? theres not a chance that would happen i would start sweating probably being scared not be able to sleep and start saying do i really wanna be here with her etc, its not possible for me to do

[Guest Idiot1979]

so i am in bed with a girl sleeping and i get a thought of wishing i was close to a man or cuddling a man i am just supposed to say oh right that thought is ok and go asleep? theres not a chance that would happen i would start sweating probably being scared not be able to sleep and start saying do i really wanna be here with her etc, its not possible for me to do

No - you say to yourself "this is an intrusive thought, caused by my OCD - and it's only happened as I love women, and my brain is attacking me with my worst fears"

[Guest sigh1]

but what about getting aroused mate? thats something completely different isnt it ? ocd cant do that aswell can it?

[Caramoole]

Sigh you need to read back over this thread carefully and look at the advice that's been suggested. Until you're ready to change the way you're handling the intrusive thoughts, things aren't going to improve very much.

You can get beyond this but not by doing things the same way, ruminating, checking and fighting the thoughts. Until you can start to apply some of those things suggested there's nothing much people can say that will help. It's not helping your OCD for us to keep answering the same questions. Have a read back and look at similar threads on the forum and then try and think how you can change your way of dealing with the OCD.

Caramoole

[Guest Idiot1979]

but what about getting aroused mate? thats something completely different isnt it ? ocd cant do that aswell can it?

What do you mean by getting aroused?

A sensation in your groin? Or erections?

[Guest Idiot1979]

Sigh you need to read back over this thread carefully and look at the advice that's been suggested. Until you're ready to change the way you're handling the intrusive thoughts, things aren't going to improve very much.

You can get beyond this but not by doing things the same way, ruminating, checking and fighting the thoughts. Until you can start to apply some of those things suggested there's nothing much people can say that will help. It's not helping your OCD for us to keep answering the same questions. Have a read back and look at similar threads on the forum and then try and think how you can change your way of dealing with the OCD.

Caramoole

This is completely correct by the way. The only reason, you (or any of us) are on a forum is compulsion. You're checking.

And giving you this information just gives your OCD more areas to attack. That's how OCD works. Once you beat one thing, it moves on to the next.

As we've all said - the only way to actually beat it is to accept it's OCD.

[Guest sigh1]

i have done i just cant do it hopefully i can soon

[Guest sigh1]

What do you mean by getting aroused?

A sensation in your groin? Or erections?

testicles moving and penis growing a bit sometimes and has went hard yes but i have not wanted it to and wasnt happy that it went hard like i am happy when its about girls

[Guest sigh1]

testicles moving and penis growing a bit sometimes and has went hard yes but i have not wanted it to and wasnt happy that it went hard like i am happy when its about girls

also testicles tingle hopefully this is to do with fear, also if i was to think about it alot i would go erect probably but this is not what i want to happen or do