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Is it common to obsess about how others perceive you? Any advice.


Guest shelby1990

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Guest shelby1990

Honestly, I feel really silly even writing about this. I'm 23 years old, and I should be over the whole high school age "But he doesn't like me" phase. However, it really bothers me, and I don't know what to do about it. Anyways, I work for a grocery company, and the vast majority of my coworkers are extremely nice--nicer than at any other place I've ever worked. I've made close friends with a couple of people, and everyone else is always very pleasant to work with. there's no gossiping, no cattiness, and it's actually very refreshing to work in a place in which everyone behaves like adults. But there's ONE guy who seems to have a problem with me, and I have no idea why. From what I observed, it's only toward me that he takes this attitude, and I just don't get it. I try to be polite and engage in conversation with everyone, but he just never seems to want to even speak a word to me. He's actually walked away a couple of times RIGHT in the middle of me speaking to him, and he is just very rude. The only time he will talk to me is when he needs a favor from me--like for me to switch shifts with him or something like that. Otherwise, he ignores me. There have even been times when I've observed him rolling his eyes or exchanging an irritated glance with another coworker after I've said something, like I'm just the dumbest person ever. It doesn't help that for some reason he DOES make me nervous, so when he's around, I find myself making more mistakes. I KNOW it shouldn't matter. For one, this guy is a few years younger than me (I'm thinking he just turned 20), so his opinion shouldn't even matter--especially as my equal. Secondly, I've done well for myself within the company. I exceed every standard the company has set, and I've even been trusted to take on a higher responsibility position. It's not as if my career depends on gaining his approval. Lastly, I get along well with everyone else at work, so why should one person matter? But the sad thing is, it DOES. Whenever I see that he is working, it's like I'm an elementary school student walking in to face a bully. All I think of is ways that I can avoid him or hope that I don't come in contact with him. There have been so many times when I've told myself "Shelby, this is stupid. Just be an adult, PURPOSELY put yourself in a position to talk to/work with him, and see what happens." But of course, whenever I do try to make conversation, I just find new material to analyze/ruminate over. Ugh. This is honestly SO dumb. I just want to go to work, be myself, without feeling like I have to deliberately avoid one of my coworkers. Does anyone have any advice? Is this common with OCD?

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Guest dimmerswitch

Putting OCD aside.

Your situation is universally common. We are social animals, so we thrive in social situations.

However, we can't expect everyone to like us or get along with us.

Similarly, we can't expect to like everyone we meet in life.

I think the anxiety kicks in, in how we deal with this. We get anxious and worried because we fear we've done something wrong to upset the person so he/she doesn't like us, then the anxiety begins to dig in, which will then awaken the OCD...

Be happy that you have made many new friends in your job. You have made a positive and friendly attempt to get along with your colleague, but it isn't your fault if he doesn't want to be freinds with you. It's just life. :original:

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Guest Shannon

Please don't take it personally, I know from past experience how hurtful it can be when you encounter a person like this. Unfortunately not everyone in life are nice people and sometimes we just have to accept they are the way they are. You sound like a nice, kind person and you haven't done anything wrong and you have made every effort to get this person to like you. To be honest, to walk away from someone when they are talking to you is just downright rude. Try not to take it personally, if you didn't work there then he would find another victim, some other kind soul.

Please accept that it is he who is wrong and try to let it go over your head, you do not need to justify yourself, believe in yourself; you are good, kind and strong xx

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Guest Oliachim

I get this bad as well. I obsess what I said, what they meant by it, was there any meaning, if they hate me. Then I get depressed and get drunk... Next day everyone is nice as pie, I mean wtf? Lol

But I might have something other than ocd as I haven't been diagnosed.

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I work with some annoying people .i think everyone does its just with ocd we let it bother us.just think its his problem not yours and be glad u are better than that.i think well if you moan or not or you are nice to me or not i still get paid so it doesnt bother me.

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I work with some annoying people .i think everyone does its just with ocd we let it bother us.just think its his problem not yours and be glad u are better than that.i think well if you moan or not or you are nice to me or not i still get paid so it doesnt bother me.

I do try to think like that, but in the throws of OCD it is hard

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Guest dimmerswitch

I work with some annoying people .i think everyone does its just with ocd we let it bother us.just think its his problem not yours and be glad u are better than that.i think well if you moan or not or you are nice to me or not i still get paid so it doesnt bother me.

Great advice ecomum. :original:

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