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Soooooooo FRUSTRATED !


Guest nikikav

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Hi

I was told a few months ago that my daughter abbie could have ocd as she was showing the early signs of it, rituals, perfection, obsessions, meltdowns, ect, I have now been told that it could be Autism or asperger syndrome as she shows signs of that as well, I saw her therapist last week and she has now told me that she thinks it is anxiety and bad behaviour !!,

As her mum I know she is not badly behaved no more than any of her friends, I know it is something more when I see her go into a total melt down that last for 4 hours, kicking, hitting, screaming, swearing, hitting her head, and having no control of her actions, she craves perfection and things to be just right and in its place, she sometimes dosnt understand simple instructions and gets scared when she cant read someone's tone of voice or why it has changed, dosnt understand jokes or having the mikey taken out of her,

I have done the good behaviour charts, taken things of her, not let her see her friends or watch tv, praised her for good behaviour and not for bad, but and nothing works, its just like she holds it all day at school and comes home and its melt down time.

I don't know if im coming or going these days and just want an answer for what is wrong with my daughter so I can help her,

Any advise would be great good or bad

Thanks niki

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Hi Niki!

It sounds like it is really hard to control your daughter. I don't really have any experience in this sector but if there is one piece of advice it would be to not give up! Try to keep seeing specialist Child Psychologists and Child behavioural Psychologists because eventually you will get an answer.

It does sound like it could be OCD, but always remember that OCD, ADHD, Tourette's and autism are all related disorders so it Is always a possibility that your Daughter has more than one of those.

Good luck and God Bless!

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hi niki

your daughter sounds a lot like my daughter Lorna was a couple of years back- they keep a 'mask' on at school and its only when they are home in a place where they feel safe that they can let it all out

when my daughter was in primary school i could always tell within five minutes of picking her up whether it was going to kick off or if she was going to be calm -the slightest thing would send her temper from 0-10 in five seconds. My daughter has ocd and high functioning autism. She had weekly sessions with two psychologists - one to deal with home life and one who dealt with school. Lorna would not be able to finish homework or re do it several times because it didnt feel right, her teacher actually saw her mood change when they were in an art lesson and lorna's paper was slightly wrinkled.

lorna still has difficulty telling peoples moods by their face, and doesnt get some jokes, she finds large social circles a problem, she still cannot tie her shoe laces and still has problems with her feet - they are hypersensitive so finding shoes is sometimes a nightmare (autistic trait).But with good therapy her ocd is way way in the background and she is a happy child again.

Behavoiur charts dont work, all they do is punish the child for having a mental health condition. Ocd is on the Autistic Spectrum and some sufferers can have both.

Tell the psych that you are unhappy with what they have said and let them know you arent going to put up with this kind of treatment and to get on and do their job.

The more you stand up to them and let them know you wont be pushed aside and let her be labelled a badly behaved child, the more they will sit up and take notice. I wouldnt let anyone talk to me like that about my child, fighting back is the only answer to get the help your daughter needs

take care x

Edited by Mel1971
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Hi Mel

Thank you for your advise, when I saw abbies therapist a few weeks ago I told her that something had to be done and to see someone else as things couldn't go on like they were, she then said that it could be Autism or Aspergis and she would refer her to see someone else which I thought was a step in the right direction, I saw her again yesterday and she told me that it wouldn't do any good abbie seeing someone else as she is too young and wouldn't understand what was going on, she dosnt want to see abbie again as the last time she saw abbie she got upset and had a melt down after she had gone.

I have to keep a diary on abbie to see if there are any triggers to her melt downs, abbie had a melt down on Saturday which lasted for four hours I managed to record some of it which I played to the therapist, the recording is very distressing as she was so bad, but the therapist dosnt seem to be taking it in, I have just played it to my closest friend and she was so upset to hear it I had to turn it off,

I know its not bad behaviour or anxiety but the therapist dosnt seem to care, all she seems bothered about is that abbie has made it into school every day this last week. I feel as if im banging my head against a brick wall.

niki

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hiya

then i suggest you go back to CAMHS and ask to see someone else because its not getting any better, one of the psychs did an anger management course with lorna (she didnt know it at the time - it was incorporated into their sessions) and we set up some rules for home if she kicked off and it worked amazingly well.

its going to be really difficult to find triggers because only she knows how she feels and she doesnt understand why she feels this way, it could be something that we find tiny and insignificant could be a huge ball of anxiety for her.

its really annoying to see someone similar to my position a few years ago not getting the vital help they need, i can see from a few years on now how much it helped and how important it is.

This therapist, is a psych or a mental health nurse? It would be interesting to find out what qualifications this person has because they are seriously lacking. Do go back to CAMHS and seek a second opinion, print off my post and take it with you to show its not just your child who has this type of behaviour and its not just acting up, shes obviously suffering bless her,

take care x

Edited by Mel1971
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mel

I have looked for these triggers before and not found anything that triggers melt downs, they just happen and she has no control she screams for help and covers her ears and hides under my bed. I agree with you she dosnt understand why she feels this way.

she is a mental health nurse, she has discussed abbie with other psych first they say refer her then don't refer her, I am going to go back and tell them I want a second opinion and see someone else, and hopefully get somewhere,

As a mother you know if your child is badly behaved and abbie is not, yes at times she her moments, but its totally on the other end of the scale what she goes through. at the moment she is getting into school and that is all she seems to be interested in, I know in the next few weeks things will get bad again,

To be told that because im a single mum and doing this on my own " it probably seems worse" is a joke

Thank you again its so nice to hear your not on your own.

niki xx

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