slight relapse again

[loulou]

I thought i had this cracked! bad thoughts about kids and my boys and i'm used to the feeling i get of anxiety but now its changed slightly which made me think 1. maybe i have now turned into a paedo and 2. has my ocd worked out how i cope so has changed? this sounds slightly mad i know.

When i have a thought i let it pass even though it annoys me but the new ones have me questioning stuff and then i think how can i be thinking this back **** in detail and its as though i could do bad things and no anxiety is coming in as before.

I try to reassure myself that i would never do anythink then i get 'but you might if no one else is around' i dont want to test myself!! then i get 'why do you be alone'. After 30 seconds or so i feel normal and i'm thinking of course i dont, then it starts allover again even though i'm telling myself i wouldnt why does my brain repeat!!