Medications

[whitebeam]

I havnt heard of clonazepam what type of drug is this? They only seem to want to prescribe me ssri type meds can I be insistent that I want to try other things?

Clonazepam is an anti-anxiety meds. It's in the same family as diazepam. I don't think it's intended for long-term use although I was on it for a long time and didn't have any problems coming off it.

[lovid]

How are you feeling today Bruces.Honestly please don't even think about taking your life.Until you've had therapy the treatment hasn't even properly begun.So many people feel like you do now ( I know I did I had it all planned) but once the therapy starts you start to feel better.Hang on in there until they get around to helping you.Also do you have a letter or a phone number you can ring the people who you have been referred to direct.That will speed things up. Or do they have a crisis team.If you live in the uk you can contact improving access to psychological services direct and one way or another I am sure you will be seen really soon.Just make sure you let them know how you are feeling.Don't forget we are all here for you and know how you are feeling now as most of us have been in you situation at one time or another. Mrs F I'm so sorry that your daughters trauma situation set off you OCD again but now that she is in a better place I am hoping that you will be able to get back on the right path too.As with Bruce we want to get you fixed and on the right road eventually. It seems to me that life always ends eventually.No one goes on suffering for eternity so why not lets do the very best we can so that we can make the most of it while we can.We might not be amazingly happy for most of it but if we can at least be reasonably comfortable we will get through it and be of great benefit to those around us who care for us so much

[bruces]

I don't like to rock the boat my trying to speed them up I'm sure there is many people who feel just as hopeless as men and probably I front of me in the waiting list,I'd give anything to be able to just live a normal life people think I am miserable and lazy because I don't want to do things with them I fact one of my longest known friends has stopped talking to me because of the way I am

[ACE]

bruces you aren't miserable or lazy at all,you're very depressed and being so down makes you not obviously able to do anything at all you are not lazy that's the last thing in this world you're.People who understand that know it's the truth you wouldn't be like this if you weren't depressed but the illness completely clouds&greys your mind like anyone else :original:.

[bruces]

I have no interest in anything I feel as though I just really don't want to be here anymore

[bruces]

I feel that suicide is the only option I'm not ever going to be able to do a job properly as I can't do anything

[Guest MrsF]

Bruces thats your depression talking not you. If you are feeling suicidal please go to A&E. You can and will do lots and could do whatever job you put your mind to but you need to do things one at a time and start by tackling this depression. The world will seem like a much brighter place once you have got your depression under control. Could you not telephone your GP's surgery, tell them how cr** you feel and ask for an update on how long you have to wait for your appointment. Have you been to work today? x

[bruces]

Yes I've been to work they won't know at the surgery as it's the hospital that deals with the referral I have no confidence or interest in doing anything I really feel I have no other option

[Guest MrsF]

Your depression has taken away your confidence and interest. Believe me once it is under control these things will return. You say you don't enjoy being a mechanic what is your dream job?

[bruces]

I don't enjoy been a mechanic because of the checking I have to get my dad to check everything I do and I feel useless because of this I should get a more mundane easier job because of it but then I'll just be bored I think

[Guest MrsF]

Once your depression is under control and you tackle the OCD checking won't be an issue for you. Mr F is a bus/coach mechanic and hes always getting in trouble for not working fast enough because he always checks all that he does he doesn't have OCD just very high standards of spannering!

[bruces]

I'm a bus mechanic but I don't think I'll be able to get past the checking it's too much too ask of myself

[bruces]

I've had various forms of ocd like the contamination and worrying about hurting people etc but they seemed to go and left with very bad checking whilst spannering but things like door locks and car handbrakes don't bother me anymore but still have god awful depression and terrible worries about the future

[Guest MrsF]

Bruces don't worry about the future just throw yourself into getting the here and now sorted. Your depression will get better once you have your meds review. Once thats happened you can tackle your OCD. See it as a big positive that the contam OCD is no longer causing you a problem. Lost count of the number of new sets of taps we've had to have where I've had to be sure they were turned off properly and broke them!! There is lots of help out there for finding different careers once you are feeling better.

Lovid - thank you for your kind words - seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with the relapse. Hope your fight is going well.

[bruces]

I just find it impossible to see myself as being able to tighten things up,I've been like this for so long how can I change it?

[lovid]

What a coincidence.I'm a bus driver and I'm responsible for breaking all the busses that you and Mr F have to mend.Very sorry about that!!Bruce and Mrs F.There will be light at the end of the tunnel you just can't see it yet.Keep going and we can help each other to feel better.Now that your daughter us safe thetrauma symptoms will subside and once Bruce starts to engage with the therapy he will feel better too.I'm just about to go to work and break some more

[Guest MrsF]

Hi Bruces, have you had a better day today? Hope so. I know you have been like it for ages but that isn't a barrier to getting better. Mine started at 14 and I didn't ask for help til I was 37. All of my compulsions, rituals and checking were just the norm to me. It took a year of CBT to sort them out but it did. At the mo you need to get the depression sorted. At a later date do you think it would be worth giving CBT another go with regards to the checking and tightening while spannering?

Lovid I hope you haven't been keeping the fitters busy!

[ACE]

bruces at the moment it's crystal clear the depression owns you&is clouding your mind,please don't feel bad you have no interest in anything,life etc etc because the way you're feeling.None of this is your fault this is the depresssion sadly at it's worst I know where you're coming from I really do.But I totally understand right now it's understandably very hard to see things improving that you're feeling so rotten but you'll come through this we'll all help&stick by you day by day&step by step.You'll end up looking back at this horrible period and move on with your life the best way possible.

It's also understandable as you like me and so many others haven't known much else due to the severity OCD&Depression has had on your life for so long andnone is your fault how are you meant to know any better when the illness has dominated your life for so long?.But please try your best to keep sticking at it,you'll have your meds reviewed asap and please tell them everything exactly ok because there many meds out there ok,combinations etc etc that will help you please try to believe it ok my friend I know it's really hard right now.

When you get the right meds sorted out this will help you so much bruces I know how tough it is with checking and everything else.But I've seen how much the right meds can really help,they'll work wonders help slow the brain down,get you so much more calmer&in control of your life,you'll be able to do whatever you enjoy far better than you ever have.

I know how it is much or well I can say nearly all my life like you and many others constant overanalyzings,ruminating so bad&severe as hell,counting non stop,going over everything&pretty much anything.I know how your brain never gets any respite unless you may have some sleep and you can maybe if you're a tad lucky get some nice rest but then it all starts again anyway.But things can&will improve for you trust me ok :original: .

[bruces]

With regards to the checking while spannering it physically scares me I don't know how people can do it without checking and rechecking because things are so crucial on vehicles as I say it terrifies me

[Guest Jennifer8]

Hi bruces,

I read your posts everytime I am on here, to see how you are doing, with the hope you are making a breakthrough and finding a solution to getting better. I don't add anything to the advice being offered because I have no experience of any of the medication you talk about. There are plenty of people here that can answer those questions with solid, practical knowledge.

But on another level, I want to express how much I wish things would change for you, for the better and when I read your posts I am saddened that things are still so bleak.

Have you ever watched TED Talks online? If you haven't, perhaps it might help listening to other people tell their stories - so many of the talks cover extremes of mental health and the experiences of people that have gone through terrible situations that seem impossible to recover from.

The stories are inspirational and there might be just one thing that one of the talkers say that could help you see a glimmer of light no matter how small.

[bruces]

But the checking wouldn't be as bad if I didn't do mechanical work maybe something like driving wouldn't cause me so much grief

[Guest MrsF]

Hi Bruces, any news on your appt yet? Are you feeling any better today? I know what you are saying about the mechanical work. As I've said Mr F is often in trouble at work for not working fast enough because he always checks his work - although not in an obsessive way. Ignoring your OCD totally do you enjoy spannering or would you if the checking wasn't an issue?

[bruces]

Yes u would like it asides the checking but that's always going to be an issue I think

[ACE]

bruces can I ask for e.g how severe is the checking in to what extent exactly&what is the say also for e.g the right type of checking which you should be doing let's also say?.I totally understand how the OCD works with your checking I think clearly what can certainly happen is that no doubt measures can be made to reduce uyour checking no doubt to a level which certainly won't be as no way debilitating for you and cause you so much distress.this can certainly be achieved for sure The right meds will no doubt help a masive deal in doing this help reeuce your thoughts to a fine level&get you far more relaxed and stable and in better control.

No doubt I can vouch for that a medication like seroquel which i've found excellent in helping reduce my OCD symptoms as well a great deal.There are meds out there that can certainly help you and with that then something like CBT will come in naturally for you trust me it will happen I can help you as much as you like I think my experiences can certainly and hopefully be of some assistance for you as I can relate to you so much my friend :original: .

[bruces]

I've got to the point now where I checked so much and still wasn't reassured that now I work for my dad I just get him to tighten everything up as I can't do it also alongside the terrible depression and anxiety I feel so terrible and the constant thoughts of taking my life just to take away the pain