Jump to content

Sex & OCD - a perspective


Guest ScottOCDid

Recommended Posts

Guest Freeatlast

What an amazing post, thanks Scot! Made perfect sense to me as I have suffered incredibly with hte sexual thoughts. I think that was the worst part, years ago I used to check below the waistline when I'd see sexual images of women and because I was checking that area, of course I felt 'feelings' - for me they were different feelings to arousal feelings, but still feelings and caused so much distress. I eventually worked out what was happening and tried to ignore it. And I managed quite well but when the anxiety would peak, I'd go back to concentrating on 'the' area. But thankfully I haven't done that in years because I figured out what it was (saved mysself a fortune in psy fees didn't I?).

Thanks again for an amazing post

CArol x x x

Link to comment
  • Replies 148
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • 7 months later...

I'm just going to bump this up yet again because Scott's original post is excellent and might just help a few people struggling with issues around sex, and so on.

Link to comment
I'm just going to bump this up yet again because Scott's original post is excellent and might just help a few people struggling with issues around sex, and so on.

Scott as also just submitted a brilliant PowerPoint presentation about what OCD is, for use in explaining to GP's and FFC members. Will place it on the main website later today.

Link to comment
Guest texuspete

Finally, Ive found what ive been looking for for 10 years. My OCD started when i was 17 (im now 28) and it was all due to th fact that i worried that I may be gay with no reason. Im not against gay people, indeed i have many gay friends, but i feared it. I feared being gay, as i knew i wasn't, but going over and over and over in my mind, night after night, week after week, trying to work out if i was or not. Wow. That lasted for a few years. then my ocd subsided, got far less intense, but still was there. last year it came back. big time. in a differnt form, but still as a sexual worry. Now i worry about all kinds of things, but I'm now starting to win again. Which feels nice! This article has explained to me how it all began, and for that, to the person who wrote this article, i'm so, so grateful!

I didnt knw if i was depressed when it started and so had no idea why i was feeling such things. i thought i realy was the only one who felt like i did. but there are loads of us. which is bad as i feel for everyone of you, but jeepers, its great not to be alone!

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest germfreecat

This one will make all of you feel better. My problem is REALLY ODD & compaired to this it will make your problems seem normal.

It started back at school, some boys had been climbing trees at the back of the school and in the next lesson the teacher took a piece of chalk and snaped it saying" this is how your leg will break when you fall out of the tree." I just couldn't get the thought out of my head. After that I would fear breaking peoples legs if I accidentaly knocked into them and if I saw a frail old person or a child that had just learned to walk I would imagine one of their legs snaping off. This then made me have a creapy feeling in my own legs, as if they were about to break off.

I still get this problem now, it is one reason I find it difficult to go out. When this is triggered I might have to stand still for ages, and sometimes with my eyes closed.(which I know looks weired)

BUT WHAT IS THIS TO DO WITH SEX????? well-----------------------------------

about 10 years ago I was watching a TV programm about mountain rescue. The interviewer asked the boss of the rescue team "what was their strangest rescue?" and he said how they had a man who lost his leg during a bondage/sex act ???????????

At that moment I think something snapped in my head. Ever since Anything to do with sexual feelings can trigger my LOST LEG phobia. It can be couples embracing in the street or sex scenes on tv and wollop!!!!! I'am standing with my eye closed and in shear terror.

As you can imagine it has made relationships difficult!

NO SEX PLEASE : MY LEG MIGHT FALL OFF :helpsmilie:

Link to comment
Guest autumn girl

It really is such an amazing read every time i go through it and so helpful! Genius Scott xx

I have had issues with homosexual OCD and peadophilia OCD in the past, but I really have managed to conquer these.

BUT I still have an underlying "fear" of sexual contact with my partner.

I really dont know why as these thoughts no longer flick into my head, but just wondered whether anyone else has these general anxieties about it?

Do they come from battling so much with these thoughts in the past maybe??

Scott mentions that sex should be a natural act and I think I've lost the ability to see it like this! How does one get this back???

xx

Link to comment
Guest germfreecat
Hi GFC,

Your problem about your leg does sound like typical OCD. I think it would take a good therapist to help you get through this - are you seeing anyone at the moment?

Rach :)

At the moment Iam between therapists and it might take up to 6 mounths on the waiting list :eek: before I see the new one. My main concern is I will start going to the hospital/GP's with imaginary illnesses again(always a BIG problem for me).

My psychiatrist finds "the leg business" highly amusing and wants me to write it up as a sort of monolog. I think he has confused me with Alan Bennet.

Thanks for your concern.

I must keep fighting it :boxing:

Link to comment
I think he has confused me with Alan Bennet.

:lol:

I hope you soon find yourself a therapist - if you're struggling it might be worth contacting your GP, psychiatrist, CMHT and see if you can get treatment a bit sooner.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest MajesticShannon

2 years late,

but great post Scott.

I have real problems with these issues too. In fact 90% of my ocd worries boil down to the following.

Over 4 years ago I saw some gay porn on the internet - and I was aroused by it. Afterwards I felt guilty for being aroused by it. Ever since its been a nightmare with thoughts of being gay (especially as my family are so anti gay). No matter what happens, I always go back to the point - you must be gay, as you were aroused by it.

My question is; can people be aroused by things they shouldnt be/ are not attracted too? This ocd thought has punished me ever since.

any thoughts?

Link to comment

I read a story once about a guy who went to Auschwitz during its liberation, he wrote in his memoirs that he got aroused there, amidst all that carnage, death and sickness. He wrote that it wasn't sexually linked.

Sometimes I get aroused in situations that are far from a turn on, its just one of those things mate - sometimes your body does what it wants without permission, like when your muscles have a spasm. Naturally your OCD will attribute your arousal to convince you that you're gay.

You're not. Otherwise you'd be getting on with it instead of worrying.

Link to comment
Guest Hollyhope

Hello,

Just read your post, very informative and reassuring! Thank You!

Seems as though I was reading my exact thoughts, but I was now looking at it from another person's perspective, which made it easier to understand and my inner demon cannot argue with another person (even though it tries!). Fantastic to see the process in such a clear/concise way.

Thanks again.

Holly xxx

Link to comment
Guest louise88

I've also found this post very helpful and just wanted to post a few general musings that I am having as I am trying to work out how my sexually orientated obsession (about cheating on my partner-see my hundreds of other posts! :original: ) has come about and use that understanding to change my way of thinking. I am feeling much more positive about this now, although I am still finding it hard to let go.

My experience has been that one of my problems originally was because when I was having these thoughts that I would go and cheat with my housemate, I think I kind of enjoyed the fantasy on one level, not because I was sexually attracted to him at all in reality-I actually wasn't and am completely in love with my partner. I suppose, though, that it is human nature to enjoy having naughty thoughts sometimes, particularly exploring sexuality, and to wonder what things would be like if you did the 'naughty' thing you are imagining.

That I enjoyed these thoughts has been a source of distress for me since as it has convinced me that maybe there is even more likelihood that I would have then acted on them-as I certainly remember thinking at the time that I was going to act on my thoughts.

I try not to worry about this though, because another thing I have learned from this board is that naughty thoughts are just that. It is the value that we attach to them which causes us hassle. As I have said in previous posts, for me the problem turns into a thought-fusion thing. As soon as I am having the thoughts, even if I am enjoying having them, the role play starts off in my head that I am going to turn thoughts into actions and sometimes I think I even enjoy the mental thought of doing something at the same time as feeling scared by it. In my case, I was sort of enjoying the fantasy of going into my housemate's room and thought that I was going to so, but at the same time was scared that I would do this as I knew it was wrong and I knew that I didn't really want to do this.

What I am getting around to now in all of this, is that I think I can learn to accept that I have had naughty thoughts and that this is normal.

Also more likely than not, this might answer my mental questions about why I woke up one day thinking I had done something and feeling guilty! I probably dreamt about what I had been thinking the night before and then woke up in the morning thinking that my thoughts and dreams were reality. If anyone else has experienced this then let me know, as it would make more sense to know that this has happened to others with obsessive thought patterns!

In conclusion, I am beginning to see that there are other explanations to the way in which I am thinking than simply 'you must be guilty' and once I begin to give these explanations more weight in my own mind, I will feel better.

I hope these musings are somehow helpful x

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest Beautygirl

This post is amazing and i think it should be pinned. Also i would like to see it being sent to every therapist out there because they need to get more clued up!

Link to comment
Guest Tigger

Thanks Scott. Great to read something that directly tackles the problems I am facing.

The 'upstairs downstairs' bit was particularly good as I have spent along time worrying that the signals I get from down below when an OCD thought comes into my head must in some way validate it. At others times I have had these feelings without and OCD thougt which has then caused a spike to appear. I could not understand why I was having this constant feeling of arousal. Having read your post it makes sense that because my OCD is sex related my 'girls' bits' are going to be on high alert and react to any little stimulus and sometimes to nothing at all. Finally I understand!!!!

This is really going to help me in my struggle to cope with OCD so thanks a million!!!!

Link to comment
  • 3 months later...
Guest Olympia

This thread is a saviour.

My worries with sex are that I am my mummy's little girl and shouldn't be involved in such a dirty, immoral and repulsive activity. But I'm 26 and am married!!!!!!! Of course it spirals because I have a huge fear of abandonment/separation and I worry that because I'm not active enough my beloved hub will look elsewhere. Which terrifies me. I put stickers in my filofax, as a code, so that I know when we've been intimate and if it's been too long without a sticker I'll force myself mentally into the mood. But it's always a struggle.

This thread has given me the foundations to work on. I'll show it to hub too so he can gain some understanding. He's so patient with me and this will reassure him that I do think he's wonderful and attractive, it's not me, it's my ocd.

Link to comment
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



×
×
  • Create New...