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Sex & OCD - a perspective


Guest ScottOCDid

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I'd also like to add,its a shame that noone thought it unfair that my opinions were said to be wrong,whereas when i said that Ashleys may be spiking if they were read a certain way,caramoole decided to immediately defend him,over something that she THOUGHT i had said,but actually hadnt understood what i HAD said.The main point i said,to explain again,is that he should have said if he was referring to sexual or anxiety arousal in his post to make it clearer to people who may have sexuality obsession,as i have have done very carefully in my post,i as i didnt want anyone to get upset by my first post about this.

I'm afraid that the forum will always contain information that some users don't like to read, it can't be tailored for each individual. Our Terms of use do advise this and recommends that each user must weigh up the benefits the forum can offer against any discomfort they may feel.

Caramoole

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Guest Lizbeth
My belief and my experience is that ive never been sexually aroused by something i wasnt into mentally,ie by into,i mean,liked in some way..

And that's where I think we disagree. Not to undermine your experience but actually I think it's pretty common for people to have signs of sexual arousal with things they are not even vaguely attracted to. I know of women who experience signs of sexual arousal when they have a bikini wax or a smear test...although I highly doubt any of these people were practically interested in their bikini waxer or nurse.

The point is, if you have OCD or if you don't, you may at times experience signs of sexual arousal in inappropriate situations and it is absolutely nothing to worry about and not a sign of any real interest.

I'd also like to add,its a shame that noone thought it unfair that my opinions were said to be wrong

Why would it be considered unfair for someone to disagree with you?

when i said that Ashleys may be spiking if they were read a certain way,

Well, because when I disagreed with you I never suggested that anything you said could 'spike' other people. Caramoole's comment was not defending Ashley but pointing out that as sufferers we are responsible for what we read and must make decisions about what will/will not upset us. It is not the responsibility of the writer, within reason, to be careful as to what he/she writes.

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what you are talking about i think,when women have smears,is that lubrication can be caused by the metal instrument being put into the vagina,that is not sexual arousal,unless the persons sexual organs are manually stimulated,which might cause arousal yes.I dont know if other women experience unwanted sexual arousal,but i know i dont,and i also know other women who also dont.You cant get turned on by something that u dont like,although ocd will tell u u can.Ie im a lesbian,ie men dont turn me on sexually,so are u trying to tell me that men make me sexually aroused because i have ocd thoughts saying i am? thats not true.What people with sexuality obsessions get is ANXIETY arousal,ie lubrication or tingling in that area that is caused by both the anxiety and the focus of attention on that area.That is NOT sexual arousal.I dont know if women without ocd get unwanted sexual arousal,but that has not been my experience.I agree with you that if i did have that,it wouldnt be anything to worry about,but the fact is i dont and havent.It isnt unfair for people to disagree with me,thats not what i said.I said that caramoole was defending what Ashley said,because of something she THOUGHT i said.She said that i was complaining that his post might spike people.But what i did say,was that it could spike people if it was read a certain way.I didnt say his post was wrong or should be removed.I said that i thought it unfair that she seemed to be saying that my comment i was wrong for commenting on Ashleys post,but that it seemed ok for him to say that my post before his was wrong,and might be dangerous to people on here.As like his post,my posts are a mixture of my opinion and FACT.The fact being that women cannot get sexually stimulated without at least some feeling of liking mentally.That doesnt mean though that they will act on that arousal.I stick by my opinion so we'll have to agree to disagree.I just know that many therapists and medical people have proven what ive said.I find it seems impossible for me to say anything on here,without someone misreading it and criticising me for it.I give up!

so you seem to be saying that you dont understand sexuality obsession,is that right? as sexual arousal and anxiety arousal are completely different,and sexuality obsession is nothing to do with a persons real sexuality,but is an anxiety disorder,ie ocd.So you cant compare the two.

And that's where I think we disagree. Not to undermine your experience but actually I think it's pretty common for people to have signs of sexual arousal with things they are not even vaguely attracted to. I know of women who experience signs of sexual arousal when they have a bikini wax or a smear test...although I highly doubt any of these people were practically interested in their bikini waxer or nurse.

The point is, if you have OCD or if you don't, you may at times experience signs of sexual arousal in inappropriate situations and it is absolutely nothing to worry about and not a sign of any real interest.

Why would it be considered unfair for someone to disagree with you?

Well, because when I disagreed with you I never suggested that anything you said could 'spike' other people. Caramoole's comment was not defending Ashley but pointing out that as sufferers we are responsible for what we read and must make decisions about what will/will not upset us. It is not the responsibility of the writer, within reason, to be careful as to what he/she writes.

Edited by cat1
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Guest Lizbeth

so you seem to be saying that you dont understand sexuality obsession,is that right?

Nope, I think I understand it pretty well. I've suffered from in on and off for six years, read widely on both the obsession itself and the wider issue of sexuality. I have no problem comprehending it. As I'm sure you're aware, the subject is contentious and open to debate and it is near impossible to 'prove' anything at all. (that is not how scientific and/or psychology experiements work anyway)

as sexual arousal and anxiety arousal are completely different,and sexuality obsession is nothing to do with a persons real sexuality,but is an anxiety disorder,ie ocd.So you cant compare the two

Well, I think you can because as I said, in my opinion a person can become aroused by something that in reality that have no interest in doing or would find highly inappropriate and this itself can trigger sexuality OCD.

I simply do not agree with you. It's absolutely fine if you do not feel like debating it but your reaction to other peoples' opinions and comments is your responsibility and not theirs.

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im sorry lizbeth,but ocd specialists such as dr steven phillipson have said that sexual arousal and anxiety arousal are not the same thing,as have several good ocd books.So ill stick with the experts on my opinions thanks.It is a FACT that people with sexuality obsession are not having a sexuality crisis,and that there feelings are not sexual in origin,if u dont understand that,have a look at some good ocd books.Maybe what youre talking about are people with unwanted sexual thoughts,who get feelings mimicing sexual feelings as the brain processes the thoughts without caring if theyre unwanted or not.If this is what youre talking about,then yes,maybe people can get feelings produced by their bodies which mimic arousal.Thats what scottodid said in his post also.I have to say i do believe the experts whos worked with people with sexuality obsession for many years,and the knowledge they have built up about ocd.Sexuality ocd is not usually caused by someone becoming aroused by something they wouldnt do.Most people with that kind of ocd get it as the result of a big stress in their life,ie end of a relationship,or someones comments saying they seem gay,or other factors.I know a lot of people with that kind of ocd,and none have started in the way you describe,but maybe some have.I think the danger is,that if u try and compare ocd with sexuality,you could end up either triggering ur anxiety,or reading about sexuality stuff,which may might u spike or ruminate more.When in actual fact,reading about sexuality wont help u to understand about sexuality ocd,and they are two completely different issues.One is an anxiety disorder,the other is a crisis in sexuality where someone is having feeling unfamiliar to them but are pleasurable on some level.A person with sexuality ocd is not changing their sexuality,they have FALSE fears that they are,and false fears,that they are aroused by things,when in actual fact they are not.

Nope, I think I understand it pretty well. I've suffered from in on and off for six years, read widely on both the obsession itself and the wider issue of sexuality. I have no problem comprehending it. As I'm sure you're aware, the subject is contentious and open to debate and it is near impossible to 'prove' anything at all. (that is not how scientific and/or psychology experiements work anyway)

Well, I think you can because as I said, in my opinion a person can become aroused by something that in reality that have no interest in doing or would find highly inappropriate and this itself can trigger sexuality OCD.

I simply do not agree with you. It's absolutely fine if you do not feel like debating it but your reaction to other peoples' opinions and comments is your responsibility and not theirs.

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Guest Lizbeth

At no point did I say, suggest or imply that someone with a sexuality obsession was experiencing a crisis of sexuality so the expert opinion you quoted is not relevant. I said that a person can become aroused by something they would never want to do and you've shown nothing to disprove that. I think you're misunderstanding some of the things I'm saying, Cat but I think it's better if we leave it there as this seems to be upsetting you.

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Guest nickyjohns

Hi, I like this text a lot. It could be useful. Here I tell you my situation, related to this theme, sex and OCD.

My name is Nicholas and I am 24 years old. I am from Argentina and I was diagnosed OCD

2 years ago. Now I am going to a psychologist who said she uses CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Sorry if I am not typing correctly but you will understand. I would like to find a way to stop my thinking, my doubts, my fear to AIDS. The fear of AIDS started when I have my first sexual relationship. I made myself three AIDS test and they were no reactive, negative. I only have three sexual experiences and my fear stops me to have relationship with my new girlfriend, who does not live in my city. We are very good friends and lovers but the sexual aspect is not ok. That obsession, the fear of having AIDS and contaminate my girfriend is worrying me a lot and I am unhappy. If only I realized that is only an obsession I would be calm but I take that as a chance, the chance of being ill and transmit it to others.

I am trying to study my career, History, but I feel it does no Doubtful, fear of AIDS, inactive. Help it like me, or feel it is not my way; then I am doubting all the time, ruminating with the idea of travelling to Mendoza, where my girlfriend lives, or continuing my career here, in Buenos Aires. People in general say I have to make a decision but doubt appears always, besides my fear of AIDS. My girlfriend knows about my OCD, we could say it is a resistent pure- OCD, with mental compulsions or reasoning.

I know having a title in our competitve world is important, but I miss her a lot and think about her all the time. Do you think my psychologist could help me? How? Because I started with this person 5 months ago and I still have my problem. I also had another psycho for a year, she managed to take me out some others obsessions but with this is different. I would like to read some book or article to understand me better and how to deal with this trouble. I feel it like a trouble to solve. I am inactive and doubtful. What can I do? Could you give me some advice? Do you know other people in the forum who had my case? I wait for an answer. Thank you very much. Nicholas.

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Guest margot

What an amazing post. I'm sure this has helped so many people. Hopefully by reposting it more people eill read it again. Ta Scott.

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Guest bluemirage1712

I am almost sure I must be suffering from sexual-OCD but at times I'm horrified at the possibility of it being some other compulsive disorder. I read on the internet about something called "compulsive masturbation" and "porn addiction".. which are also associated with this kind of "sudden sexual urges" that I'm going through? Somebody please help me understand better!

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Guest milly225

I was on the bus today and noticed there was a child and my anxiety increased as i didn't wanna have a bad thought or anything and I tried to avoid looking over etc then i started getting feeling below but wasn't sure if it was because of the bus ride and vibrations etc or because of the anxiety and now I' m worried because i didn't wanna feel anything down there. I think I got feelings down there because of the anxiety and trying hard to avoid it. Just so confused any help/advice would be great thanks or if anyone has experienced this as well as I cant seem to be at peace until I've sorted it out and find out why it happened. Keep trying to replay it all as well and try and get the same feeling down there to see what sort of feeling it was.

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Guest OCDsufferer9

I think it's time Scotts excellent thread got bumped up to the top again.

It's such a good thread for new users to read and a bit of revision for those who've not seen it for some time.

Caramoole

So in these paragraphs, Scott's saying it's normal for an OCD sufferer to feel like he's getting aroused by what fears?

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sadly what ever we say , the ocd is rebounding, so you've got to work at accepting it as ocd at work, and if you are doubting etc try not to engage with it, and

allow it to be there and refocus your attention onto something else

reassurance never works in ocd , be it from others or yourself

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Guest OCDQueen

I know this was posted many years ago, before I ever had an intrusive thought. But this has just helped me more than words will describe, and I will be referring back to it again and again.

Thank you so much

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Guest ABrown

thank you so, so, so much. I wish i could shout about this forum from the rooftops, i wish id found this years earlier. but thanks so much.

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