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I just can't do this anymore :(


Guest Anonomous17645

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Guest Anonomous17645

I'm really struggling these past few days, my ocd is targeting a very close friend of mine, and the thought I'm having is very inappropriate, and I just can't let it play through, but it feels like it's pushing it's self forward, trying to force me to think it. The reason I can't think it is because she's a really good friend and i will feel so bad. I'm trying my best to fall asleep, but I was nervous that I would have an intrusive thought whilst I was trying to sleep. That's exactly what happened. I started crying and praying that someone would take me to heaven and saying sorry to my friend. My life isn't worth living if I'm going to continue to think like this. If everytime I get anxious (there's a lot going on in my life at the moment) and I have these thoughts, then I don't want to live. I want to lead a happy, normal ocd free life but I've got a feeling that's never going to happen. I feel like I'm going absolutely mental.

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I'm sure a lot of people including me will be able to agree with you that they get nervous about having a thought. I get anxious in anticipation of an anxiety attack...if that makes sense. Unfortunately, we have zero control of what comes into our minds. We have to learn to try and accept this for what it is...a major pain in the backside condition. It's tough, and it's a never ending fight but we must try to believe that we can and will have better times.

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Guest Anonomous17645

I'm sure a lot of people including me will be able to agree with you that they get nervous about having a thought. I get anxious in anticipation of an anxiety attack...if that makes sense. Unfortunately, we have zero control of what comes into our minds. We have to learn to try and accept this for what it is...a major pain in the backside condition. It's tough, and it's a never ending fight but we must try to believe that we can and will have better times.

Thank you for your reply. Yes I understand what you mean. For me at the minute, I'm scared to be on my own. I try To avoid it as much as I can but that's not possible all of the time. And sometimes even when I'm with people I still have thoughts, I've just learned not to react to them when other people can see me. It's hard for me at the minute to go to bed. I sated to go to bed as that's a time where I'm kind of on my own, and I'm scared to fall asleep because what if the same situation happens again tonight? I just can't see better times at the minute :/ I hope there will be but, I just can't see a future. I'm attribute the thoughts as ocd, and I do know the reason as to why my ocd has triggered badly (family situation), but telling myself these things just isn't working. :( x

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