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Long time no talk :( having a rough time


Guest BlondeMermaidxoxo

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Guest BlondeMermaidxoxo

Hello everyone! I've thought about y'all so often. I forgot my password for awhile :( how is everyone?

I've been decent, today is rather rough.

My grandma who is my role model was put in the hospital and to see her in so much pain was the hardest thing. I had to leave the room as I was having a panic attack and dry heaving (gross I know) it's really bothering me because I can't imagine not having her but she should be okay which is a relief.

I'm also moving to university soon which is going to be good for me but also is adding stress on my mind.

I'm going to a place where I have had many terrible thoughts at and am trying to tell myself

to be strong and ignore it and just go smile. It's just not a good thing for me to be going because this has all happened in one day! I miss my grandma, I'm leaving the state, and I had to leave my dog for 2 days. My dog is my ultimate support. She takes me anxiety away in a second. so

I'm terrified.

Sorry this has been all over the place! My mind sorta is right now :( it actually hurts.

Love and miss you all. xoxo

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Hi blondemermaid

All OCD sufferers are vulnerable in times of stress, so it doesn't surprise me what you report here.

Having rigid support structures - grandma and dog - and needing to leave your state (out of your comfort zone) are other contributors.

In my line of work (insurance broking) it is considered important to train employees in "change management" - coping when put under pressure when out of your comfort zone, and this was beneficial to me.

So with your gran and your dog, see if you can weaken your dependency upon them as a crutch - it will be much better for you going forward if you can achieve that, and also turn the going away on its head, away from a threat to an opportunity to learn to stand on your own two feet - I think most students face up to this and beat it and it helps form their character and prepares them for the wide world.

Edited by taurean
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Hi mermaid,

:welcome: back although I wish it were under happier circumstances :(.

Your grandma having to go into hospital must have been a shock and I think it's only natural you were upset. I'm glad it looks like she will be OK :).

It's fantastic that you're going to go to uni - that must take great courage. It sounds like you associate the uni location with OCD thoughts? Hopefully once you get there you can replace that unhappy link with a better one once you settle in and start to enjoy your time away. Have you looked into the uni to see whether there is any kind of student support in case you need a little help whilst you're there?

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