Let's Try To Look For The Positives Today!

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Not a great day. Negative automatic thoughts, catastrophising. Nail polish has stained my nails, which isn't necessarily a big deal but I really can't remove the rest of it as it seems to have bedded into the keratin .. A couple of posts on the forum have really bothered me, so I may take a break.

Positive: I'll put the iPlayer on shortly, see if there's anything I've missed.

[Cub]

*hugs Heryn* Sorry if you've been triggered by anything I wrote. iPlayer is great.

[taurean]

Here's a group hug Heryn, enjoy the catch-up tv and hope you pick up soon.

I really know how you feel, I have been there and struggled with those myself a number of times along the way.

Keep the faith, all the best.

:group:

[taurean]

I am still a little tense tonight - but enjoyed the England v Switzerland football, and now some relaxing classical music.

And reading a great coffee-table book about London then and now.

We will be working hard tomorrow, finishing shifting what we reasonably can from two rooms being re-carpeted - then, when the carpet man has finished, putting it all back again.

But the new carpets should make a big difference :original:

[taurean]

Negative

Spooked by a feature on radio in bed first thing this morning, but got up straight away and got busy and distracted

Positive

We have been moving furniture and carefully packing belongings before the carpet man came.

He has taken up two old stained carpets at my mum-in-law's flat here in gorgeous south northants.

We three got on well, the new carpets are fab and, before we move some stuff back I have wandered out into town and now having a coffee and catch-up.

Job nearly well done - lots of putting back for us to do

But some nice tv on BBC4 tonight :original:

[Sodovka]

Negative: intense anxiety this morning with OCD and then during day at big conference where I felt so much performance anxiety even just talking to a new colleague and then on a phone call for work.

Positive: I refused to make my OCD and anxiety worse by compulsions or panicking. Both calmed down after awhile and I felt more myself again.

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Shorter break than anticipated. Guilt has knocked me back today and I needed somewhere to write it down. Maybe I am to blame. :| Ugh, what a day! I was beginning to move forwards again; I have things to do today, and I don't particularly want to do any of them.

Positive: It's taken a few years but I have finally accepted the impact OCD has had on certain areas of my life.

[Ania]

Negative: I'm scared because I'll probably will have to have a cornea transplant

Positive: I gave a piano lesson to a young girl and she just brightened my day

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them" :albert:

Edited September 10, 2015 by Ania

[taurean]

Negative

I am fine today and anxiety is fine.

Positive

We are pleased with the new carpets.

I have needed to declare the arthritis, in the thumb base joint on my right hand, to the driver and vehicle licence centre.

I had to complete a medical questionnaire and declare contact details for my doctor and the arthritis consultant.

It has been a seven-week anxious wait to see if they will allow me to contunue to drive; but I have now heard from them today and the answer is yes :original:

We are back in London - home again, and ready for a rest from the hard work shifting things around to allow access yesterday for the 2 carpets to be changed.

Job well done and weather lovely.

Edited September 10, 2015 by taurean

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Brain all over the place this afternoon. OCD fog. Ruminating about everything.

Positive: Trying to take things at a more relaxed pace.

[Cub]

Positive: I finally admitted to myself last night - I am depressed. I am very depressed and struggling to carry on.

Why is this a positive? Because I'm relieved I've admitted it.

[Lynz]

Negative - it has been difficult to fight the urge to engage in compulsions, I.e ruminating, seeking reassurance etc. I also find myself constantly aware of my breasts and thinking that I don't like them and worrying if I want to get them removed or not (I have transgender-OCD).

Positive - I was able to get up this morning quite early and do some housework. I've began my Open University studies and I was also able to get showered and dressed. I'm going to take the dog out later with my mum which should be nice.

Stay strong everyone xx

[Guest]

Negative:

- Very nervous about leaving for University tomorrow

- Lots of things to be sorted out still

Positive:

- Met loads of new cool people already on Facebook

- Excited to move in to Uni and start my course

- Way more positives than negatives

[Cub]

Hi Alex

You've made some great steps there, getting to know people beforehand - you should be proud. It'll give you a base to work from. It is a little nerve-wrecking, but I promise you it's worth it; you'll be able to do your own thing and think of the takeaways!

Good luck!

C x

[Guest Heryn!]

Positive: I finally admitted to myself last night - I am depressed. I am very depressed and struggling to carry on.

Why is this a positive? Because I'm relieved I've admitted it.

That is a positive, Cub.

Negative: Out of milk.

Positive: Went for a walk. Saw a few friends, chatted with some people. That's about it.

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative:

- Very nervous about leaving for University tomorrow

- Lots of things to be sorted out still

Positive:

- Met loads of new cool people already on Facebook

- Excited to move in to Uni and start my course

- Way more positives than negatives

Just dive in. As effortlessly cool as they might appear, no-one else has a bloody clue either.

Freshers' Week will keep you plenty occupied. Look after your phone and wallet, be aware of your surroundings, have fun. All the best.

[taurean]

When we have something to tag our state of mind against, we then are no longer shooting in the dark - there is something tangible there - something that was hiding, now exposed.

I too haven't got going greatly today.

Negative

After a very busy 3 days of manual work up in mum-in-law's flat in the Midlands we were both sluggish - and my wife with a sore throat and pollen allergies.

She elected to do some washing (it calms her down) and me to go to Sainsbury's. I took an extra bus to the very large store, so I could buy the ultimate classic fm hall of fame box set - 4 albums for £8.

Positive

CD 4 is playing now - beautifully calming.

Apart from that basket shop, I collapsed and watched the tours of Britain and Spain cycling.A short walk to the fish and chip shop and I am now finished for a light duties day.

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Intrusive thoughts.

Positive: Listening to music. Plan to do some work around the house this week.

[Cub]

Negative: Getting bouts of anxiety that I can't shake off immediately; I don't know if it's my conscience talking, me having a 'I need to do something to change/But what if...' moment, but it was there all afternoon and I couldn't chill properly. I didn't know if I had to do something to make a change in my life, but I was thinking, 'But if I do do this, then what happens...' I got very shaken. Is that familiar with anyone? I don't want to make the wrong choices.

Also, erm... reviewing how I've been tackling the anxiety with regards to my work. I'm worried about this; I'm pretty friendly with all my colleagues and we're a pretty chilled team, going out after work and having a giggle during the day, but I'm now worried that I've brought a lot of my problems to work with me. I've always done my best, but as the year went on I got increasingly obsessive and by default exhausted, worrisome and tired, which in turn made me unrested and tearful and there were one or two days when I shed a tear at work. I've had conversations with colleagues about what's been going on with me and they've shared some of their experiences in return. But I'm feeling very insecure and low in myself and I've got pretty envious at work at how easy socialising is for everyone else and feeling as though I'm just... not great at being happy for others. I don't like that - I've read that part of depression is judging other people, perhaps out of envy at how happy they seem. I don't want to be that person.

Positive: I'm not engaging with the thoughts and last night went out to my writers' group meeting at the pub. Chatted to a lot of people and got to know some of them better; felt I was able to fit in.

[taurean]

Negative

Woke from a powerful dream, but it wasn't a lucid or bad dream as I recovered very quickly.Discovered my wife, not too well last night, has a cold plus pollen allergy.

Positive

Sorted out her breakfast needs, and pruned one of our two offending buddleias, which are both covered in flower fronds and pollen.

Had lunch with "Spotty" the cat in the garden - you are never alone with a cat :original:

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Nearly Monday. Some checking. Indecisive as ever and I don't want to ask anyone for their opinion because I'm really old enough to work things out for myself. :/

Positive: October means a new Bond film.

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: OCD panic and need to confess. Feeling slightly judged for reasons I won't go into here, but it's nothing to do with the forum. .

Positive: Lunch was nice.

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Much the same. No work on hoarding; intrusive thoughts and compulsions right off the bat this morning. I want to re-write my life.

Positive: I'm about half-way through the book I'm reading.

[taurean]

Negative

Fighting the bug that has made my wife horribly unwell. This is making me very tired so I have to keep going for a lie down.

Positive

I continue to help my wife re her responsibility for her Mum's affairs. This involves lots of computer, inter-personal and negotiating skills that were a key part of my erstwhile work as an insurance agent.

During my enforced rest I have been thinking about the best way to summarise the "cognitive reprocessing" that is proving so helpful to snowbear.

I am finding some ideas and will enjoy putting something together - it is just the sort of concept that could lead to a breakthrough for people, so I see this as important.

:original:

Edited September 16, 2015 by taurean

[Cub]

Negative: Felt a little low and still over-analysing my feelings a bit; think I have this kind of inner-conviction that if I can do things a certain way, then I'll feel better.

Positive: I am (tentatively) starting to feel better. Not feeling as depressed as I used to feel. I don't know what'll happen next but am aware I have been hard on myself and essentially punishing myself, which hasn't done me any good. I'm worried that sooner or later, I'll get that bad feeling again, feel guilty again and start blaming myself again and feel bogged down, but I've been working on exposures. I'm feeling better at the moment, but am considering an OCD support group, which I'm in two minds about, because I feel okay now, but what if I need help later? Anyway, I'm going to sleep on it.