Let's Try To Look For The Positives Today!

[Cub]

Negative: Very bad, very anxious day to the point when my distress was noticed and I was asked if I wanted to go home. Also upset at the news of Alan Rickman.

Positive: I got through the day, despite the upset and after a lot of ups and downs, as some of you may have noticed (sorry) I called my dad and broke down on the phone. Don't want to let him down as I'm scared I might be bad on the inside but Dad told me to hold on and that I wasn't. I mustn't give up. I feel better now I've been completely honest about all that's happening inside my head. Sorry for all the trouble I gave you guys today but thankyou for your support.

[taurean]

Positive

I have been out and about a lot - notwithstanding my treated toe hurting. Opportunituies arose to do some exposure work on the main news - I took this on with just a small part of the news from the newspaper (I am still very hyper-sensitive) then after a little while of sitting with it, reverted back to the business and sport.

I accompanied my wife - who was suffering from a very phobic (white coat hypertension) response - to her audiologists follow-up consultation.

Afterwards I stopped off at the pub for a glass of red wine to reward myself - I like to give myself a small reward for tackling the big hierarchy exposures - and she went back home to relax - it was a successful consultation.

Negative

I am feeling a bit anxious - but that is only to be expected.

[taurean]

Looking for the positives is a good way to tackle our problems in general , not just OCD and other negative automatic thoughts.

When we are operating in a positive bias everything seems rosy, we seem things with that expectation of success, a happy outcome.

We can work away at our negativitiy by actively looking for positivity and tackling the shackles that bind us. And facing up to OCD issues by looking to reduce compulsions and chip away ar ERP - softly softly and slow,ly if necessary and taking failures on the chin.

Just taking on an exposure task can give us a lift, show us that we can change behaviours - even if it wasn't greatly successful, it is taking a ;positive approach.

For the last few days my wife and I have been chipping away at sifting, sorting, recycling and giving away the things we no longer need. Much has gone to the charity shop or collections.

It's tough work, but it will help us when we have the damp contractors in next week - which will be disruptive. So we are looking beyond the initial distress to the benefits the other side.

[Guest]

Negative:

All in all, a crappy week. Bowie's death affected me badly and then Alan rickman's was just a double whammy.

Been depressed to begin with, actually apathetic and numb rather than miserable.

Still have not done my CV

Stayed in bed til after 1pm the whole week.

Have not been outside since last Friday.

Positive

Still haven't pulled any eyelashes this year

Helped others

Negative

Maybe helping others is another form of procrastination and avoidance

[Cub]

Negative: I struggled through today; I was fighting some pretty strong negativity and I had some awful obsessions going on. I also kept thinking I was doing things wrong, just because of one or two every day awkward incidents that happened. I felt very self-conscious and scared; been very distressed and was terrified I was going crazy...

Positive: I stood my ground and told myself not to pray compulsively and I think I managed it by about 75%. I still struggled, I won't lie, but it made me feel stronger. My thoughts are still there though and I'm scared I want to think bad ones, somehow. I'm scared I want bad thoughts because it's what I'm used to. I've had a friend who I've been talking to and it's helped get me through the the week.

So, that's where I'm at.

[benjamin]

Negative: I have lots of friends but I dont see them much, one lives in the neighbouring village and most others live a drive away, we do keep in contact on Facebook a lot but since I got made redundant I have not seen them as much. Doesn't stop them being my mates even if I dont see them much. At least I am not friendless, I have over 150 friends on FB from school, work etc. And gutted about David Bowie's death.

Positive: Remember a few months ago, last summer, I contemplated contacting someone on FB who I used to hang about with as teenagers? I even did obsess over it a bit, even though I knew he was a useless friend. He was the pinnacle of fake friends. We lived in the same village and he used to hang out with me a lot. We both went to school together. He used to borrow money off me, ie if he needed a pound, and he never paid me back, and he used to expect me to give him food when he came round, and we did have a few sleepovers, he used to stay round mine a few times. He used to at the same time mock my liking for New York as I had been there, and he used to mock my collection of Only Fools And Horses DVDs, and one time out of the blue he told me to throw them out of the window and I told him to leave. We did not speak for months. And he used to show me up in front of others especially at school. One time he came round to see me and that morning I had news of my grandfathers death. We arranged to meet that night but he never turned up, not a phonecall or anything, and it was a cold January night and I had a family bereavement. He then soon moved away to a nearby village. When I considered contacting him after all these years I asked some others and they all said "Dont contact this person on FB, he seemed like a right jerk".

I did think about him again the other day and remembered how much of a rubbish friend he was, and that I should be thankful I am nothing to do with this fake friend anymore, rather than reopen wounds. And judging by his FB pics he now looks unsavoury. Deffo let sleeping dogs lie.

Edited January 16, 2016 by benjamin

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Brain whizzing again. Back on the hamster wheel. I have to go out tomorrow.

Positive: Did some work around the house.

[taurean]

Negative

Brain has been focusing over the weekend on unpleasant things, plus manipulating things to make them upsetting. Really distressing.

Positive

I have just let it be not acknowledged these and got on with living. But inevitably that amount of mental activity has been detrimental mentally and physically.

So although I have had lots of sleep I feel tense and tired, which saddens me.

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Racing thoughts, rumination, hyper-responsibility. I feel sick and anxious. I have to go out.

Positive: -

[biscuitcat]

Positives;

Been doing really well; intrusive thoughts have been fading out. Not attaching any meaning or belief to them. Not experiencing them or anxiety so much.

Assessment is out the way so have a week to catch up on written work and get organised.

Using the forum less often. To clear my head when I need to. Trying to distance myself from ocd so it doesn't define me or my life.

Eating properly. Treating myself. Looking to spend more time doing things that make me happy.

Negatives:

Think my OCD may be changing tact and theme. Will apply the same technique and ignore it when it tries to drag me down. It's all the same stupid anxiety illness anyway. I won't believe the thoughts or pay them attention.

Woke up this morning feeling a bit down. Another day to be productive and get through. Another bump in the road to drive over.

[Guest BonfireDog]

Negative

While driving alone, an item on the radio made me begin to dredge up old intrusive thoughts and worries that I thought buried. It was a horrible experience, and took me right back to how I was two years ago.

Positive

I discovered a technique for dealing with these thoughts which worked almost instantly; singing sea shanties very loudly and raucously in my car. I was alone, nobody was bothering me, I helped strengthen my voice, and the thoughts vanished.

[Cub]

Negatives: I have had a very rubbish week, completely shaken and stirred and feel very evil from the thoughts I've had.

Positives: I have two days off now and my dad has been a constant support. There's going to be a social do tonight, but I don't think I'll go; I need time to myself to just regroup. I know social events are good for us, but there's several reasons why I don't want to go and it feels important to have some me time; otherwise I'll grow overwhelmed and ruin the event.

[taurean]

Negatives: I have had a very rubbish week, completely shaken and stirred and feel very evil from the thoughts I've had.

Positives: I have two days off now and my dad has been a constant support. There's going to be a social do tonight, but I don't think I'll go; I need time to myself to just regroup. I know social events are good for us, but there's several reasons why I don't want to go and it feels important to have some me time; otherwise I'll grow overwhelmed and ruin the event.

I wuldn't go if you are not in a good state - take some me time, plug into the local support from your Dad when needed, and remind yourself that these thoughts are not your thoughts - then find something calming but involved to which you can seek to switch focus.

I had a bad time over the weekend, that continured this morning.But I reminded myself that the thoughts are just dredged up distress, and say nothing about me as a person - my core values are under attack from my misfiring brain.

I had to go out to the dental hygienist - not ideal when not in a good state - but I went anyway - got that job out of the way - then rewarded myself for that with a cup of coffee.

I am reading a nice book and will allow myself to get absorbed in that and music a little later.

Edited January 18, 2016 by taurean

[taurean]

Negative

As per above - the thoughts bugging me were stuff from the past. This is not uncommon when I look to ease back on triggers in the present (as i am still hypersensitive) but I am aware of this and treating them the same - leave be and get on with things.

After an unpleasant weekend, I am hoping for better things this week.

Positive

I am back home and warm with a bite to eat inside me. Mrs Roy is having a rest, so I can just chill out a bit and look to refocus.

[Guest]

Negative

Trapped on the hamster wheel

Depressed

Cannot deal with anger

Apathetic

Don't want to tidy house, do CV, prepare food, shower, get up early or do anything at all

Groundhog Day

Positive

At least symptoms are not intense like they have been before.

[taurean]

Positive

Took two 10 mg propranolol (betablocker - lowers arousal symtoms) to help calm me down, then got stuck in to helping my wife as we are clearing a lot of our through lounge ready for damp proof works.The remainding will be covered in dust sheets as the carpets.

Got busy on the forum afterwards - writing is a good distraction for me, as is helping others.

My wife cooked us a nice meal and has now knocked of for the evening.

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Feeling like a loser. Cursing OCD and anxiety.

Positive: Lunch was nice. A friend had a baby a little while back and I finally got to meet him today.

[taurean]

Positive

Have not needed the propranolol today.

Managed to move the BT broadband hub upstairs into my office, and we have cleared most of the ground floor items ex large furniture - which will be covered by dust sheets Damp contractor work starts tomorrow.

Mrs now asleep, I popped up to the pub for a pint of London ale!

Now back in my office. Will have to watch my tv purely on internet for next 3 days as - since the main tv is worth around £500, I am disconnecting it and moving it up here for safety.Mrs Roy has a freeview set in her den to watch her favouriote channels.

But I read and listen to music a lot anyway.though there may just be some sport I want to watch, and I can watch BT and Sky sports on the laptop.

Negative

There is going to be dust and disruption, but it will be progress.

Edited January 19, 2016 by taurean

[Cub]

Heryn, you are not a loser. I've been there, I understand. But you are not. :hug:

Negative: Feeling a little cold and shaken and some of those negative emotions remaining. Still haven't quite learnt how to handle my compulsions yet, but I'll get there. Also feeling a bit hacked off with the world in general; I think my brain's playing the blame game, which will get me nowhere. I'm just feeling a bit too in my head and not living enough at the moment. Think I have it all figured out but I don't. Just got to stop blaming others for my problems, particularly as they've only tried to help.

Positive: Went to the gym today which has helped me feel less stressed. Writing some poetry before I go out tonight to an open-mic. I've not been to this particular one before, so wondering what it will be like.

C x

[taurean]

Negative

Heavy negotiation with the damp contracting firm here today to carry out remedial works - their surveyor had made 3 mistakes in the works specifications. We found a resolution but it was very stressful.

One day of work down - the worst day as it involved noise and mess - although everything is removed or protected by dust sheets.Two more days building works to go.

Positive

We like the guys doing the work, and the foreman is very experienced. I can watch tv on the laptop upsatirs, and my wife has her own freeview set in her den. I can also read and listen to music in the bedroom/office upstairs.

It will be great when this - very challenging in the preparation, the job, then the re-setting up of the rooms - work is over.

Edited January 20, 2016 by taurean

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Intrusive thoughts. Had a panic attack last night and did something embarrassing and silly.

Positive: I never shop in Zara for some reason, I don't think it ever occurs to me when there is also Mango, but I popped in today and got a couple of things in the sale.

[biscuitcat]

I've got a seasonal cold. And a cold sore so feeling quite gross.

Positives

Had about a week almost completely anxiety free

Had a minor wobble two days ago and nipped it in the bud.

Going to be pretty busy for the foreseeable future

Had a productive week so far

Found a bridesmaid dress. Need to go and try it on.

Found an old teapot so I can make pots of tea whilst writing my dissertation

Have some questions to ask my therapist next time I see her. Which I think should help understand ocd more.

Feeling less of a need to be on the forum all the time

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Freaked out by people (common occurrence) and found myself Googling symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome. I want to quit my voluntary work; 'my depression seems to have improved'; migraine; intrusive thoughts.

Positive: Yesterday was better.

[taurean]

Negative

Much lower anxiety today than the high level caused by the erroneous surveyor's specification for the contract works here - we have resolved that satisfactorily hopefully , but the anxiety response was unwanted and powerful.

Feeling a little nauseous right now, but hopefully this will ease.

Positive

I plan to walk up to the fish and chip shop as the microwave is still out of action (due to the contract works) until tomorrow evening, and neither of us fancies cooking with the hob or oven in the kitchen.

Wrote a topic for the support forum which may help current sufferers. And one about trips out for the members' only forum.

[Guest Heryn!]

Negative: Feeling sick. Intrusive thoughts. I still have a migraine despite medication. I want to go on a long holiday. I took an online psychatric test and scored practically enough for 'possible Asperger's'. I need to tidy up the house this weekend.

Positive: There must be a point.