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Identity and Self Image / Ego


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I noticed that an overwhelming majority of OCD themes and triggers have to do with identity and self image fears or distortions.

Fear of being certain ways, or being like certain ways. Self value and self worth. Being "the type of person who..." Then whatever fears there are about one's self image.

Do you think a large component of what drives OCD is this underlying fear of a distorted self image? Of course it's also about control and safety etc. though this seems to be a large part of it.

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Guest jayjay89

I don't know if it drives OCD, for me, OCD drives the doubt about me... Because I doubt everything, how could I not doubt myself? Especially when there is no way to prove it either way. Ie am I gay or straight? I physically can have sex with either sex, I can be friends with either sex, I can 'love' either sex- there is no way for be to be sure!! Then when you start doubting something so central to your core beliefs, I think everything else starts to fall under scrutiny.

Edited by jayjay89
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I think all my OCD hangs on a fear of being a "bad" person. I struggle sometimes to specify what I mean by that - but if you take my three "themes" of OCD:-

1) contamination. Fear of making others ill through my actions / inactions. Massive shame over this - that if I'm contaminated maybe I'm a bad person

2) relationship. Fear of cheating on my husband. I am devoted to him and would hate myself forever if I cheated on him. I can be talking to another man, even a gay man, and believe I've somehow cheated just by talking etc.

3) harm OCD. Fear of harming someone vulnerable. Again based on a terror that I could be capable of such an act, of betraying them, of betraying trust, etc.

In my OCD head all three of the above would make me a bad person. I have extremely low self-esteem ("what, really?!" I hear you say ;) ) and a very negative self-image, often putting myself down before someone else can. I "confess" all kinds of stuff to a couple of people I trust, because I don't trust myself, so instead I trust them to tell me if I am evil or something. Of course an OCD compulsion...

Edited by Northern Star
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It is true ADD.

Even I myself, with high self-worth and self-confidence, find these slump in an OCD episode.

We just have to carry out the approaches we have been taught/told in order to try and turn it around.

But for many OCD sufferers who start with low self worth and image, they do seem to struggle to move forward - to make friends, build relationships, talk about their OCD, enjoy sexual relations, which to me is extremely sad.

It's probably a driving reason why I try and put myself forward as a role model- to show we can achieve things even with troublesome OCD.

Lauramac is a strong believer in this too, and a real fighter.

She has included a section on the talent of people with OCD on her OCD-NI website and I contributed a piece about myself to that - to show,like the other contributors, that even with OCD trying to hold us back, we can rise above it and show great skills and endeavour.

Thanks for raising an interesting topic.

Jo thanks for being so open about your own difficulties. It really shows how much of a stranglehold OCD can place upon us, playing on underlying fears - what we have to try and cope with. And often, with a number of flavours of the OCD gravy - just one of them is bad enough in its own right.

Keep up your fight - you are doing much better and with a strong endeavour,which is good news.

Edited by taurean
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