children and ocd

[Guest rainbow]

Hi, I have not posted on here for a long while, but really in need of some advice and help.I have suffered from ocd, intrusive thoughts since I was a child. I'm now 49, still fighting the battle, doing well atm, finally kicking ocd butt.

I have 4 beautiful children, all have been plagued with this horrible illness. My eldest daughter fights daily with it been on n off meds since she was 14, she is now 26. It pains me to see her suffer, but she is a fighter like me.

My youngest daughter is in the mist of a very bad attack of it, she is a anxious child, had ocd traits since around 7, but it has now upped a gear. She went to CAMMS last year for assessment, he said she had mild ocd, but more anxiety:( I wasn't convinced he was right. I know her ocd is much worse than he said. We were in process of moving counties, so we couldn't continue with CAMMS there. We moved home and her ocd really settled, almost nonexistent. However the last two weeks, have been horrendous!! my granddaughter told her a scary story that has petrified my daughter. She will now not go to bed on her own, or sleep in her bed.The last two weeks, she has slept with me . This I know is feeding n fuelling this dam ocd. I'm at my wits end..Ive tried sitting with her, reading her books on ocd, for reassurance. We have some child friendly ocd books . Nothing is helping as I'm writing this she is still awake..I know it's easier to let her sleep in my bed, it makes her feel safe, however I know this is just making the situation worse... I understand ocd so well, but I can't seem to help her, feeling like I'm failing her.

I'm so sad too, tired n exhausted. It has not helped as it has been the Christmas holidays, so doctors surgery has been limited. Also no school to occupy her mind. I am taking her to docs this week, but the waiting list for CAMMS where I live is 6mths ...a joke. she needs CBT and I need help, so I can help her. Feeling a failure

[PolarBear]

How old is she, rainbow?

I wonder if you could start the process of transitioning her to her own bed by setting a rule that she has to start sleeping in her own bed and stay there for at least a half an hour before going to your bed. Slowly increase the time period over time.

[Guest rainbow]

Hi polar Bear, thanks for your post. she is 11.This story that she has been told as really scared her, just a silly kids ghost story, that has now caused a full blown ocd attack.she eventually went to sleep last night about 2am in her own bed but crept in mine at 4. She is afraid to fall asleep, as her fear is a ghost will get her while she sleeps. obviously as we know, there is no reasoning with her, as her fear is greater than reality. I will try to see if settling a time limit works just her inability to fall asleep in her own bed is huge problem. I want her desperately to be happy and not afraid, but at the same time by taking her into my bed I know I'm just reinforcing her fears that she has things to fear.

[PolarBear]

Yeah, it's a touchy subject. You want to get her back into her bed, but you don't want to push too hard... Hopefully this will blow over for her and you get back to your regular sleeping lives.

[Guest worriedmum]

Hi Rainbow

I was wondering how the situation was now with your daughter, since she started back at school? I hope the routine etc. has provided her with some stability and distraction. I saw that you said CAMHS have a 6 month waiting list in your area, I am sure you are more in tune with how to deal with them than I am, but when my son was really not doing well, I made a real nuisance of myself and called the doctor and CAMHS a few times to let them know that we didn't have months to wait, but needed him to be seen ASAP. This definitely helped push him up the list. I hope that you are able to get her some help and that in the meantime things have settled down more for her and she's back to sleeping well again.

[Guest Sally44]

I tend to take a different approach with my son.

If he is really struggling with something due to OCD I tell him that this fear is due to OCD and that the fear will subside eventually. If he wants to sleep in my bed I let him. It seems to me that by letting him, and by acknowledging that it is OCD and that currently it is tough, but that he will get over the current issue - this seems to lessen the anxiety. As I think with OCD sometimes the anxiety is not just about the thing OCD is telling them to do, it is the fear and anxiety OCD tells them about OUR reaction to their need to do a, b or c. Does that make any sense??

At the moment my son is sleeping in my bed because he is so fearful of contaminating his room. So not good. BUT he is now brushing his own teeth and is now going for walks with me outside - which is a huge improvement. So I am letting him achieve the things he can achieve and not fighting with him about stuff he cannot currently do. If I insisted he slept in his own room I am sure I would still be brushing his teeth and he would still be refusing to leave the house.

And I know we are not supposed to give reassurance. But like you, my son can be awake up to 2 or 4am or awake all night. We all need to get some sleep. I would pester CAHMS for an urgent appointment.

[Guest Deejay]

Hi there

I would keep onto CAMHS as well. I have found that we cannot function properly as a family which is a big worry. My daughter has been assessed by CAMHS and they have agreed that she needs CBT but there is a 4-6 month waiting list for this. I have managed to find a private CBT therapist in my area who charges £50 an hour - I know its still £50 but we decided to go for it in order to get the help she needs straight away. If you look on the BABCP website it lists all the accredited CBT therapists in the UK. It might be worth a try to see if you can get help sooner if the cost is not too high. My daughter had her first session the day after I made contact with the therapist whom I found on the website. She is still on the CAMHS waiting list as well so when she gets to the top of the list we can transfer to them. Hope this helps, good luck.

PS you are not a failure - far from it - never forget that.

[mrscoco]

Hi rainbow - I know this is an old post, but just reading through and wondering how your daughter is doing, mine is a similar age and her anxiety/ocd/obsessions have gone from say a 2 to a full on 10 in the last month or so ...