taurean Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I usually operate within the present pretty well but at the moment my mind is flashing back to all sorts of experiences and places in my past. I can suddenly find myself seeing things at my grammar school for example or earlier in my career. I am calmly refocusing to the present and I think this might more be caused by depression. Like just now I can see the Boots shop as it was in my home town of Rugby and the stairs leading up to the top floor. And the giant weighing machine with the big circular dial in Woolworths. I adore where we live and apart from current mental and physical health issues would be very happy. It's not very nice but hopefully I will pop out of it soon. Link to comment
Symps07 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I keep looking to the past, but in a more 'idealized' way. Seeing myself as a more happier, more perfect person. I've done it for years, it's an obsession in it's own way. I stopped it for a while, but now it's happening everyday. I suppose it's natural in a way, when the present is so difficult, but it's not a true reflection of my past & I'm not so sure it's helping. Plus I keep hearing voice's from the past (not in a schizophrenic way, more just remembering what people said) always negative reminders though! Link to comment
taurean Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 (edited) Mainly the things are happy, suggesting its a sign of depression now. I have had thoughts of the offices I have worked in but very little about my private life over the last few years which in general terms has been a simple but happy experience. Edited January 7, 2015 by taurean Link to comment
Symps07 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I must admit, I find the thoughts of OCD, rumination & maybe what I've described above to be far harder to deal with than the actual physical actions of OCD. It can be really hard to see where the thoughts start & end sometimes. Still, I'm relaxing watching Midsummer Murders on TV. Have you managed to have a better day today taurean? Link to comment
taurean Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Better but relaxing on my bed and a word popped into my head that I came across in a romantic novel recently. So took the mobile off charge for a bit of distraction. As a keen writer I like using words however a number upset me and stick.Some people have a problem with numbers. Link to comment
Symps07 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I'm gonna have a phobia of planes by the time this episode is over! I find words can be a problem, like on heads post about the news, sometimes I only have to hear a word in a headline & it sparks off a topic for me to ruminate on. Glad your having a better day, mine's been better as well. Although everytime I find a clear sky, a cloud quickly appears! Link to comment
taurean Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Yes that's it. Its infuriating because out of an episode I have more mental strength to move them on. So instead of relacing I am now aa little distressed. Link to comment
Symps07 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 How do you find exposure technique to words? I mean, focusing on the word that causes you anxiety until it lessens? Link to comment
taurean Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 It doesn't if I have a thought loop running.. This is because with me they go into a compulsive thought loop that only gets more entrenched with ERP. My best solution is to disrupt the looping compulsion then distract. Link to comment
Symps07 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 I must admit, I get that with my rumination. Sometimes I don't even know what thought I should be exposing myself to. I just have to calm myself down, & break the train of thought & then, like you say, find something to distract me before it has chance to start again. Link to comment
taurean Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 Also bad currently is linking things or places to distress right now. Probably why I am having flahbacks to better times. Despite rain I have walked to my friend Tina's cafe to break up the rumination hopefully. Link to comment
Symps07 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Hi taurean, did the walk to the cafe do you good? Have you ever tried mindfullness? I've heard about it on here & asked my therapist about it today. It sounds a bit like what I've trying to implement on myself. Just wondered if you'd ever tried it? Link to comment
paianjen Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I often do this, weirdly when I think of a happy memory it's to beat myself up over it and think 'wtf happened to you, you'll never be like that again' Link to comment
Symps07 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I often do this, weirdly when I think of a happy memory it's to beat myself up over it and think 'wtf happened to you, you'll never be like that again' You will be in time :original: Link to comment
taurean Posted January 10, 2015 Author Share Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) Hi taurean, did the walk to the cafe do you good? Have you ever tried mindfullness? I've heard about it on here & asked my therapist about it today. It sounds a bit like what I've trying to implement on myself. Just wondered if you'd ever tried it? Yes when not in an OCD state I operate quite mindfully.My therapist hss helped me with it but it doesn't help when I am in too bad a state physically. It helps to detach from thoughts and just observe. Edited January 10, 2015 by taurean Link to comment
taurean Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 I think noting then calmly steering back and reminding myself of my goals is good. And some toast jam and coffee now. Yum. Link to comment
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