LET'S STOP THE SQUABBLING

[Guest Anna]

Has everyone lost sight of what this place is about??

All there seems to be is nasty comments and back stabbing. This place was designed to offer people support and help others out when they are confused/upset and haven't got anywhere else to go.

Can't we all just get along??

Anna.

[Guest Pootle]

Anna, thanks for settling the ball rolling there. I have been sitting here for the last 10 mins busy trying to compose something similar!

OCD / any mental illness is destructice, or rather can be destructive if not fought. I see no point to also be destructive towards and within a forum designed as a self help tool.

Neither is there anything to be gained in being personal to others- if you have an issue that you feel you must address then PM. If you have issue with a MOD or Ashley- PM or write it on the thread devoted to this in the charity forum "right to complain". I certainly don't want to read bitchiness or backbiting within threads where people are in distress or are asking for help. In my opinion, thats pretty low and highly unnecessary.

Trisha- I am sorry you are hurting right now. Please please sleep on this and try and think of the bigger picture. Think of all the benefits this forum has brought you and the friends you have made that will miss you. Hope to see you back posting tomorrow!! xxx I for one will miss you if you go.

V

xx

[Guest rpeders3]

Well said, Anna and Pootle,

Conflict is an inevitable part of life. It's what we do with it that matters.

Randy

[catherine]

Thank you Anna for this thread and for everyones subsequent comments.

I believe wholeheartedly that folk want support, encouragement, hope, ideas, information and humour from this board and that must always remain the centre of our raison d'etre.

I for one want to spend my time constructively on the board and hope that 90% of my input will be just that, with the other 10% to deal with admin type issues. Recently I think its fair to say that a lot of moderators and especially Ashley has been taken away from the real purpose of the board and the charity to deal with more contentious issues. Of course people have the right to disagree over issues but lets all be adult about how we go about this.

I think your words speak volumes for many many members of this board

Thank you

Catherine

[Guest mandy]

i agree with everyone this site has helped me so much and i dont like all the upset and anger some have on here. lets all get on and be happy

[Caramoole]

Here, here Anna

I too would like to say Thank-You for such a sensible post, squabbling will achieve absolutely nothing, apart perhaps from worsening the anxiety of all OCD sufferer's on both sides of the argument.

Each and every one of us on this site are either sufferers, friends or family, all searching for a way forward in getting to grips with this difficult condition. All advice or opinions offered are, I believe, made in good faith, even if they're not in accord with our own.

There are message boards throughout the Internet where squabbling is rife, this one, fortunately, never has been and never should be, it is simply not in the best interest of any of us. All moderaters work as a team to ensure it remains so and sometimes our decisions may not be popular. Again, these decisions are made as a team, in good faith and to ensure a smooth running forum and a suppotive place to be.

Ashley does a sterling job, indeed without him this Charity and this forum simply would not be here.

I urge us all, as co-sufferers, to continue with the job in hand, helping each other to beat this wretched condition and share the valued experience we collectively have.

Caramoole

[Guest ScottOCDid]

Can't we all just get along??

62180[/snapback]

Hopefully, we can, Anna .

As Ashley has suggested previously, the boards are here to encourage people to come together, even in debate if required. Misunderstandings can happen; they flare up so quickly because people communicate and respond in different ways.

We all try to help each other on the boards but can only offer support, encouragement and personal advice. Anyone who ever feels suicidal as a result of their OCDs or associated anxieties or depression should contact the Samaritans straight away on 08457 90 90 90.

The OCD-UK forum provides an invaluable means of sufferers sharing thoughts and experiences. Ashley has been the driving force for bringing this service to us all and continues to devote his life to the support of all of us who come here. One look at his profile, indicating his 5,800+ posts, along with the time-stamps that appear on those posts, prove his commitment to every one of us beyond any possible doubt.

Nobody has anything to gain by a sufferer leaving the forum, be it voluntarily or by requirement in the interests of our community as a whole. It simply isn't the desired result.

Sometimes, difficult decisions must be taken to ensure that the interests of the vast majority of board users are protected. These decisions do not mean that the people involved haven't previously offered effective support and advice to others, rather they indicate that one or more things that have happened since could impact negatively on the forum community. As the boards and the charity are managed in a highly professional manner, it would be inappropriate to publish on the public forum full details of the reasons for certain decisions having been taken. The apparent lack of information may upset those who have befriended the people involved but it is hoped that all board users can give consideration to the fact that there will be valid and verified reasons.

Forum users please be assured that none of the board's administrators nor moderators take any pleasure whatsoever in intervening. Our ideal scenario would be that we would never be required to do so, and would spend all of our time offering support and resolving technical queries. As the team are all either sufferers or otherwise directly affected by OCD, we too are prone to revisit the actions that we have been required to take and to suffer the negative emotions that are brought about by those rare situations of user conflict. The fundamental reason that action is taken - and always will be taken - is that protecting the wellbeing of the forum community as a whole is of paramount importance. Consideration must be given to those who read the boards "out in the wings" and who may be put off joining because of a public conflict; the silent majority of members whose confidence and emotional stability may be battered even though they are not involved; those users who notify their concerns and upset to the moderators in private (which happens frequently but is not publicised); and, of course, the people who are involved, who will be fuelling their own anxieties at a time when all energy and effort would best be channelled into fighting to recover from those bad spells.

Surely the most important consideration for us all is simply this:

We're all affected by OCD; it is this that brings us together. We need to unite against the condition and support each other, therefore banishing those feelings of isolation that all of us will have experienced. We are far stronger together than apart; as such, it would seem to be wise to set aside our differences and concentrate all of our resistive forces not on each other, but on the common enemy of OCD.

Take care all.

[Guest PatsyG]

I can only agree with the above!

If people have disagreements i think this should be sorted out between the 2 individuals on the board and in private, not on the board as even more poeple start to get involved and we lose sight of what this board really is about!

It also causes more anxiety for everyone, it does to me anyway, and thats the last thing we need!

If it wasnt for Ashley certain people wouldnt have been on a site where they have made friends in the first place! I believe Ashely can only do what he believes is in the best interest for the majority of people on here and not everyone will be happy with the desicions made but its impossible to please all people at all times. Also can it not be expected that he and the moderators get things right a 100% of the time, who does??!

If people are so unhappy with the way this board is run, why dont they set one up and do it better!!

patsy

[amewat]

i think if people keep talkin about it ure actually gonna make those people feel worse so its best not keep mentioning it

[Ashley]

Hi All,

As a regular user of internet community forums for years (not just OCD ones) I have to say that on the whole we are very lucky on here because we hardly every get any petty arguments and insults that are common place on other internet communities. I suspect this is purely down to our userbase, you guys!

On here our users are extremely nice, sensible and well rounded individuals, long may that continue.

I hope that nobody minds but I will close this thread now so we can all get back to helping each other