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OCD never really goes away


Guest tyga

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It's been a long time since I posted on this website. I have been managing over the last few years but every time a new change occurs in my life I find my OCD rearing its ugly head and challenging me again.

My OCD is Pure O, obsessive thinking that I can't stop. I feel the compulsion to keep thinking about a particular topic even though I realise that the thoughts are irrational and faulty. These days my obsessive thinking is about my new relationship, although when I say new we've been together for over a year. It still feels new as I keep waiting for myself to feel more comfortable and relax into the relationship but it still hasn't happened yet.

Does anyone have any advice about being in a relationship and obsessively thinking about what is or could go wrong? If i'm not careful, I will sabotage this relationship with my thinking as it starts to affect my behaviour. I can't stop obsessing over what he does or doesn't say, and does or doesn't do.

Any advice would be welcome.

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Guest Tricia

I'm reading a book at the moment (not about OCD) which says that the best way to cope with life and all its many uncertainties, is to focus on now, today, and ignore what might go wrong tomorrow. I think this is good advice for all, but especially for us with OCD.

I used to analyze everything my husband said and it almost destroyed our marriage. Keeping busy was the only way I coped.

Edited by Tricia
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You are most definitely not the only one, tyga. So many of us on this forum have now or have had relationship" OCD. I hurt someone I cared about a lot and subsequently ruined our relationship by confessing my doubts about her (which I can see now were only an issue because OCD made them one) back when I first got OCD 20 years ago. I think the best advice to anyone with this type of OCD is to vow never to confess to your partner anything without discussing it in therapy or on a forum like this first. Most of us can easily spot a compulsion when we see one and dumping them on a non-sufferer can be a really terrible thing to do to another person, as I found out the hard way.

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I have OCD about telling potential partners about my OCD and explaining it. Think they'll believe I'm too troubled and would bring them down and not like me anymore. I mean I mention it though they don't understand anyways. If I explained...

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Is it ROCD to feel concerned and responsible for ruining other people's lives by dating them? To want to save them from yourself cause you know you could bring them down cause of your mental issues and are not real relationship material? Even if it's actually true cause you actually have these issues that could effect them? I want to save them from me by avoiding relationships. If I care about them then I know they deserve better and I can't be what I believe they deserve. If that makes sense. I don't know if that is more ROCD or only collateral reality!

Edited by ADD
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Guest Matt145

The fact that OCD never goes away is somewhat comforting for me actually (except for mild cases). Knowing that if I pay attention to my pointless obsession I am currently having sooner or later I'll have another obsession just as bad afterwards. And in a year from now i'll have already cycled through tons of new obsessions.

Looking bad at old obsessions OCD has made me fixate on makes me realize how irrational OCD is, since they barely bother me anymore.

Edited by Matt145
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The fact that OCD never goes away is somewhat comforting for me actually (except for mild cases). Knowing that if I pay attention to my pointless obsession I am currently having sooner or later I'll have another obsession just as bad afterwards. And in a year from now i'll have already cycled through tons of new obsessions.

Looking bad at old obsessions OCD has made me fixate on makes me realize how irrational OCD is, since they barely bother me anymore.

Totally get where you are coming from on this, Matt. It makes me realize that the problem isn't the particulars of my obsession but rather any compulsions I engage in. Just as anyone else's OCD is just as painful to them as mine is to me.
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I was only thinking this today, I was wishing this obsession went away only to think if it wasn't this theme it would only be another, but feels so real at th time.

Exactly, stopthinking. The key is to get to a place where you are treating the OCD, not the content of the obsession. You can only do this if you force yourself though, because the OCD will try its hardest to convince you that the content is the real danger. I'm finding it a real struggle today but I keep remembering what to do to stay healthy--no compulsions, no matter what the OCD tells you or makes you feel.
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