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Hi, I'm new here. I've been suffering from OCD since I was 8 years old. I know this devilish disease. Sometimes I can handle it, other times I can't. My main problematic area is about diseases.

Yesterday I consulted an optometrist. She said I had a lesion/scar im my cornea :helpsmilie: She didn't know I have OCD. I could punch her in the face. she was so insensitive! She didn't calm me down. I felt like ... there was no floor underneath me... I immediately got an appointment with my eyedoctor. I have to wait 3 days till the appointement. You surelly know how difficult it is to wait.

Then I sarted to make compulsions. Cheking on the internet everything about cornea diseases. I'm exhausted...I'm terrified...Ther're so many conditions...

I take medication for my OCD and I use the 4 steps. But now...it's difficult... Terrible thoughts are crossing my mind... oh GOD :down:

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Hi Ania,

I worry about the same things as you by the sounds of it and I have also had a scar on my cornea.

The stress of it just feeds our OCD and makes us worry all the more and searching the internet is not the best thing we can do to help ourselves. I hope you dont mind me sharing my experience yesterday with you.

I was walking along when I came to a bin and someone had dumped two plastic bags there. Right away in my head my OCD said it was something that I fear, and I am even unable to type the word. Anyway my breathing increased, I felt stressed and totally overwhelmed. I thought I was going to have to go home and wash all my clothes and shoes in case I had this material on me as it causes a disease. I help myself cope by trying to think rationally, although I have OCD, and that it is not likely what I thought and it was just rubbish. I then take control of my breathing as I find that when I am stressed my breathing rate increases and then so does my OCD. I control my breathing so it cannot control me. Once that is back to normal the stress subsides as we cannot be stressed and calm at the same time. When I got home I never had to wash my clothes and in fact I kept them on a bit longer than I should just to help myself, but I must of smelt of something bad. :original:

What I do is sort of mindful therapy. I know recently a scientist said it won’t cure OCD but it definably helps me take control of my thoughts and my breathing, and with OCD it takes control of us, but its a lovely and empowering feeling to take control of our own minds and body for a change.

I walked into a overhanging branch which scared my cornea and it heeled within a week or so, you can get a scar there by lots of ways, just scratching our eye or a bit of dirt. I did have some drops to help but it was nothing to worry about.

I find going walking or doing some type of exercise helps me or doing anything other than sitting there worrying about it can help.

Take care.

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Hi Ania. Welcome to the forum.

Searching on the Internet is a big compulsion for people with health ocd. It's something you need to work on stopping. You can't self diagnose and all the searching does is make you more and more anxious, which leads you to want to search even more.

Give the searching a rest.

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Hi Arrow,

Thank you so much for your reply. I'm glad that you managed to do breathing execises. And mindfullness also helps. But today I felt so overwhelmed... But you calmed me down. I'll try to do breathing exercises. God bless you

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Thank you PolarBear. I know the internet would make me feel worse, yet I did it anyway... I ended up thinking I have a systemic disease. And as I'm writing this right now my OCD is telling me "Now you're going to REALY have what you fear." This is so painfull, the stress... I got tired of the internet. As you say the more I looked the more information I got and I panicked. I'm so tired...of "researching"... so tired... that I gave up... I wish I'll be like you someday (Ex-sufferer) Thank you

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Hi Arrow,

Thank you so much for your reply. I'm glad that you managed to do breathing execises. And mindfullness also helps. But today I felt so overwhelmed... But you calmed me down. I'll try to do breathing exercises. God bless you

Your welcome Ania, I am glad I could help in some way.

Let me know how you get on with your eye.

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Hi Arrow, it turns out I have a scar in my cornea due to a condition called keratoconus. There are a lot of treatments. But in my case I was told I would have to have a cornea transplant. The doctor calmed me down. She was very nice to me. But... I could not resist and went to check the internet again about all types of cornea transplants... The doctor told me not to that... But... IT'S SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!!!!! Some friends and family tell me to calmly wait for the appointment at the eye institute... But the internet...it just "kills" me... But for now I decided to detached myself from the problem. It's not in my hands, anyway... Thank you for your concern. I hope you're ok too

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Hi ania I don't want to offer reassurance but I just wanted to say that I know someone with kerataconus and who has had a cornea transplant and they are really good after it. The internet isnt a good place for information because it always has loads of extremes on it. Just take each day as it comes, it may be that your problems with your cornea are really slow going so won't pose any problems at the minute. Just try to focus on applying the therapy techniques to your ocd as you have been doing and see that being anxious about this is natural but it is easy for it to become an obsession so try not to let that happen.

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Hi Ania,

Thank you for letting me know how you got on.

I have not heard of that condition before but it sounds like you are dealing with it really positively. I am glad the Doctor was able to help calm you down.

I know it must be hard for you not to look on the internet. I think the advice your Doctor gave will be the best for you and your condition, were the internet will be more general and may not apply to you.

Thanks again for letting me know and you have my support for what it’s worth any time.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Gemma, I think i missed your post. I'm only reading it right now. Thank you. And don't worry you're not reassuring! You're helping me.

Arrow, thanks for caring so much. You're all really helping me.

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