Need some help

[Guest Anoushka]

Hi all,

I was diagnosed with OCD a little over 3 years ago. I lost my job because of my anxiety/depression but I've been working really hard to put my life back together again. I'm about to graduate with a new qualification and I'm scared, but positive about the future.

While I have been studying I have been working as a waitress. Like many hospitality jobs staff come and go. Over the last 5 or so months the boss appointed a new manager. Since he started I've had some issues with him. He's quite dictatorial and micromanaging and he seems threatened by staff who actually know how to do their job. On Saturday night he was incredibly rude to me in respect of a long standing procedure and I lost it with him. I told him I was an experienced member of staff and he was not to speak to me like that. While I don't regret losing it with him, I am obsessing over the incident and it's causing me a great deal of stress and anxiety. I don't need this at this point in time. No one outside of my close family and a few very close friends know about my OCD and no one at my work does and I don't want them too. Essentially I'm being bullied by this manager but I don't know if it's because I'm overly sensitive or if there is a real issue.

Anyway I apologise for my rant but any advice on how to proceed would be appreciated.

[photog13]

Hi Anoushka,

I don't think you're being overly sensitive. Most importantly, try not to engage in rumination about the interaction you had as this will feed the OCD -- try to keep busy with other tasks/activities. One approach might be to adopt a firm but still respectful attitude to your manager. Defend your position if you feel you are right, but stay as calm as you can when doing so. If you feel something he says is inappropriate, I would either ignore it if it is not worth getting into an argument about it or otherwise say to him you feel it is inappropriate and if it continues, speak to the boss. Try to keep in mind that this attitude is how he is approaching things and isn't personally about you or a reflection on your work.

[Guest Charlotte]

I think it sounds as if you were assertive rather than agressive, and that you stood up for yourself in a tricky situation.

It sounds as though your OCD is making you replay the event again and again, making yourself doubt whether you are actually just being oversensitive or not.

Is there a superior or a colleague at work that you can talk to about the problem? You do not have to talk about your OCD, just saying that you are bothered by something that has happened at work and seeing what they say.

Lottie