Overcoming OCD is simple

[Sodovka]

You just couldn't help yourself, could you? You just insinuated that I may not be a good person to receive advice from. Thanks a lot.

You keep raising the fact that I was lucky in that 80% of my obsessions and the corresponding time spent on compulsions was dealt with through medications alone. What you fail to consider is that during my worst times, and there were an awful lot of bad times, I was suffering from hundreds of obsessions per day and endless hours of compulsions. An 80% drop was significant but it still meant I had to deal with scores of obsessions and hours of compulsions. Those I dealt with by practicing sound principles of CBT -- the same therapy that this charity pushes and the same therapy that pretty much everyone on this forum talks about.

Isn't it funny that you propose people who have overcome OCD (specifically me) may not make good therapists because they'll push what worked for them, yet I basically steer clear from promoting medications (except in a few circumstances) and instead promote CBT, which is the same therapy that your professor promotes? Isn't that strange? And isn't it strange that the same professor, who allegedly said people who overcome OCD might push their version of CBT, wrote a book in which he pushed his own version of CBT?

I don't appreciate your post, Tricia. I spend hours every day on the forum, trying my best to help people. I don't promote a one size fits all solution. It all has to be tailored to the individual. I don't have to be here. I no longer suffer from OCD. But I want to be here and I want to help people, promoting the same therapy used the world over to treat OCD. Now you can choose not to listen to me. That's your choice. But I think it's grossly unfair to single out someone on the forum and insinuate his advice isn't worth two spits in a pot because of the way he overcame his OCD.

I don't want to get in the middle of this but do want to confirm Polar's argument that he never pushes meds as a cure-all but always stresses the CBT he mentions at the start of this fine thread. I appreciate that and I also appreciate Tricia's compassion and resilience. Hope you two sort out your differences because you're both important members of this community.

[Handy]

Note to all.....Compulsions are never beneficial in the treatment of OCD.

In theory, yes, in practice, no. If this were true in practice there would be no forum as everyone would be cured.

[Caramoole]

In theory, yes, in practice, no. If this were true in practice there would be no forum as everyone would be cured.

That's because people are still using compulsions as a way of attempting to control their anxiety....and regardless there will always be new people coming along.

Is being contentious a particular pass time for you Handy?

[Guest Chickpea]

I know I'm replying to something that was written ages ago but I only got the chance now, hope it's ok.

Two things, Rita.

First, it can be really difficult to label obsessions as such. Sure you are inundated with messages that this time it's real, it's important and you need to do something about it. That's the nature of OCD. It's normal for people like us.

I know, it's hard to label them as obsessions because they feel so real. Everyone else tells me it's an obsession but my brain keeps trying to come up with proof saying it's not.

Look at this again Rita, and you will see everything you say is a classic indication of OCD.

It uses uncertainty to support its suggestion of reality - but it is like a blackmailer without any photographs - it has no proof, only vague suggestions.

It seems resl because the OCD exaggerations or falsehoods reach us through our normal mental channels.

And there is often a suggestion harm to someone could possibly occur.

Abra cadabra, evidence of OCD.

Now, today, I know it's OCD. But every now and then I can't tell it's OCD, those are the worse times.
I'm not doing as well as I was before the harm thoughts began, but I'm a lot better than I was a week ago. I'm not sure why and I can't help but worry that I might start to feel like I did then. It was horrible.

[taurean]

"my brain keeps trying to come up with proof telling me it's not" - another classic indication of OCD channelling falsehoods through your brain, making them appear real.

It can't produce proof - it is like a blackmailer without any photographs :original:

Marginalise them, treat them as OCD, and your reward will be to experience their hold over you weakening.

Edited October 8, 2015 by taurean

[PolarBear]

Regardless how real they seem, you have to treat the thoughts as obsessions, Rita. They are going to seem real because from the same place all your other thoughts come from. The difference is that obsessive thoughts are intrusive, often repetitive and cause you distress.

[Guest Chickpea]

The thoughts haven't been causing me as much stress as they used to. Sometimes I get them and let "them go" easily. They're becoming less and less upseting. I really hope this is normal.

Edited October 8, 2015 by Rita27

[taurean]

That's what ought to happen if you don't connect with them or believe the false meaning OCD gives them.

So keep on doing that :original:

Edited October 8, 2015 by taurean

[Guest Chickpea]

Good Thank you.

(Now I should stop highjacking the thread - sorry about that)

Edited October 8, 2015 by Rita27

[Guest Tricia]

You just couldn't help yourself, could you? You just insinuated that I may not be a good person to receive advice from. Thanks a lot.

You keep raising the fact that I was lucky in that 80% of my obsessions and the corresponding time spent on compulsions was dealt with through medications alone. What you fail to consider is that during my worst times, and there were an awful lot of bad times, I was suffering from hundreds of obsessions per day and endless hours of compulsions. An 80% drop was significant but it still meant I had to deal with scores of obsessions and hours of compulsions. Those I dealt with by practicing sound principles of CBT -- the same therapy that this charity pushes and the same therapy that pretty much everyone on this forum talks about.

Isn't it funny that you propose people who have overcome OCD (specifically me) may not make good therapists because they'll push what worked for them, yet I basically steer clear from promoting medications (except in a few circumstances) and instead promote CBT, which is the same therapy that your professor promotes? Isn't that strange? And isn't it strange that the same professor, who allegedly said people who overcome OCD might push their version of CBT, wrote a book in which he pushed his own version of CBT?

I don't appreciate your post, Tricia. I spend hours every day on the forum, trying my best to help people. I don't promote a one size fits all solution. It all has to be tailored to the individual. I don't have to be here. I no longer suffer from OCD. But I want to be here and I want to help people, promoting the same therapy used the world over to treat OCD. Now you can choose not to listen to me. That's your choice. But I think it's grossly unfair to single out someone on the forum and insinuate his advice isn't worth two spits in a pot because of the way he overcame his OCD.

I was not directing my comment solely at you, PB (regarding those with OCD - or who have overcome it - not necessarily making good therapists). I include all of us, but I appreciate with the right training the addition of personal experience can be an asset.

As for medication, I am surprised you feel CBT alone is the best way forward when you still take medication yourself.

I've never said, or even thought, that your advice isn't worth 'two spits in a pot' (quaint expression and new to me!) I think you often give excellent advice here.

What I am upset over is your insinuation that I have not seriously attempted to rid myself of OCD. You said, "Pretty easy for someone to keep saying CBT doesn't work when they don't do the work." That was an unacceptable and erroneous remark, as I have NEVER said CBT doesn't work and I have clearly stated how much work I have put in to my therapy! In another thread, previous to that one, you actually told me I had taken on too much and needed to work slower! Which is it and were you there? I happened to mention here that a one size approach doesn't work for all. You responded, "What other size is there?" That comment alone leads me to think you have a little more to learn about therapy!

Yes, 'our' professor has co-authored an excellent book on therapy, and there are many other equally good books available (often with different techniques - Jeffrey Schwartz's Brain Lock, for example. He disagrees with many other professionals!). However, Paul has said that a book alone will not be enough for everyone. He appreciates that many of us need individual help, as we can differ in our response to treatment. The one size approach does not fit all.

Why anything I have ever said can be misinterpreted that CBT doesn't work is a mystery to me!

Edited October 8, 2015 by Tricia

[taurean]

Let's put this to bed now shall we?

Onwards and upwards, and back to our mission of helping and encouraging others, especially those with long-standing difficulties.

Pax please?

Roy xxxx

[benjamin]

2008 was not a very good year for me, after my last relationship ended in 2007, I joined dating sites and hated rejection so after a couple of months I left, but these days seem to have a better handle on it, and have thought of joining again but may wait for someone to contact me first more than me contact a single girl there. I know others who have joined sites and had to maybe contact a few people. I wont let OCD try and ruin my next relationship.

[carlleo123]

I may sound a bit silly here, but there has been a bit of talk about positive thinking in this thread in order to change your thinking. How does that work and what should your thought processes be ideally ?

[taurean]

I may sound a bit silly here, but there has been a bit of talk about positive thinking in this thread in order to change your thinking. How does that work and what should your thought processes be ideally ?

Hi carlieo

Re the positivity, scroll back from the bottom of the page through the pages to find my two topics on this.

Cognitive Reprocessing - what is it.....?" started on the 20th September. (the concept has been formulated by Snowbear, and I posted a topic to make it easier to understand).

And "The Power of Words....." which I posted on the 21st September.

Happy new positivity :original:

Roy

[carlleo123]

Thanks Roy I'll have a read

[taurean]

2008 was not a very good year for me, after my last relationship ended in 2007, I joined dating sites and hated rejection so after a couple of months I left, but these days seem to have a better handle on it, and have thought of joining again but may wait for someone to contact me first more than me contact a single girl there. I know others who have joined sites and had to maybe contact a few people. I wont let OCD try and ruin my next relationship.

hi Benjamin.

Before I settled down, I had been working in an all-male environment and was a little shy talking to girls, and like you feared rejection.

I overcame it by understanding that many girls would have similar issues re meeting boys, and that we would all have concerns at first in opening up dialogue. And that I needed to not put pressure on myself - go out with a few girls for mutual enjoyment and let the question of relationship solve itself in time. It worked, I have been married now for 31 years!

A good source of meeting people is gyms - especially in the organised classes and clubs or societies , where you can meet them in a calm and pleasant way. Another way is of course through an OCD-UK event or support group!

Wishing you success - give it time, and let it happen

Roy

[PolarBear]

All I'll say Tricia is that I've grown with my time on the forum. My advice has shifted due to the advice given by some incredibly knowledgeable people on here.

[benjamin]

hi Benjamin.

Before I settled down, I had been working in an all-male environment and was a little shy talking to girls, and like you feared rejection.

I overcame it by understanding that many girls would have similar issues re meeting boys, and that we would all have concerns at first in opening up dialogue. And that I needed to not put pressure on myself - go out with a few girls for mutual enjoyment and let the question of relationship solve itself in time. It worked, I have been married now for 31 years!

A good source of meeting people is gyms - especially in the organised classes and clubs or societies , where you can meet them in a calm and pleasant way. Another way is of course through an OCD-UK event or support group!

Wishing you success - give it time, and let it happen

Roy

Thanks.

Yes it will happen, but yes, just need to give it some time.

[Handy]

That's because people are still using compulsions as a way of attempting to control their anxiety....and regardless there will always be new people coming along.

Is being contentious a particular pass time for you Handy?

I like to see both sides of things.

[benjamin]

I have joined a free dating website but am not going to rush into things looking for people to meet up with, just going to take things slowly.

When I had a intrusive thought I used to do research online which would often fuel the intrusion so I have learned not to do that, and I aim to stick by it. Let the thought be there but dont pay it any attention.

[Guest Tricia]

All I'll say Tricia is that I've grown with my time on the forum. My advice has shifted due to the advice given by some incredibly knowledgeable people on here.

I truly have been using self control by not replying again, but the thread has once more appeared at the top of the first page and I simply have to ask you again, PB (I know you can handle a difference of opinion, but others do seem to become upset by any form of confrontation).

Can you please answer why you said the following to me: "Pretty easy for someone to keep saying CBT doesn't work when they don't do the work."

​I have done 'the work' (you once said I'd done too much too quickly) and I have never said CBT doesn't work.

I can accept what people say about me, but I hate it when it's inaccurate!

[daisy]

I have never seen a post of Tricia's where she has said that CBT doesn't work,quite the opposite in fact,and I agree with you Tricia that it's when something has been said about us that is inaccurate is very upsetting!

I hope that you carry on posting on here Tricia,as you are a lot of help to a lot of us and a valued member,please don't let anyone think you are not.xx

[Caramoole]

I agree with you Tricia that it's when something has been said about us that is inaccurate is very upsetting!

There is an element that if you're prepared to be forthright with your opinions, you can't be surprised when someone responds similarly. I'm sure PB felt the same.

PB (I know you can handle a difference of opinion, but others do seem to become upset by any form of confrontation).

I'm sure both can deal with this or ignore

[PolarBear]

I truly have been using self control by not replying again, but the thread has once more appeared at the top of the first page and I simply have to ask you again, PB (I know you can handle a difference of opinion, but others do seem to become upset by any form of confrontation).

Can you please answer why you said the following to me: "Pretty easy for someone to keep saying CBT doesn't work when they don't do the work."

​I have done 'the work' (you once said I'd done too much too quickly) and I have never said CBT doesn't work.

I can accept what people say about me, but I hate it when it's inaccurate!

I don't recall saying that. If I did it must have been months ago. My question is why are you stuck on words said months ago? I don't know in what context the words were said. Perhaps I was referring to something you said about CBT not working for you. I don't know. It seems you hang onto things for an awful long time when it might be better to just let things go. As for not doing the work, I don't recall you talking about how you are challenging your OCD now. I realize you did, at one time, do the CBT, but you seem stuck since I've been on the forum and you haven't been talking about any exposures you've done or work you've done to cut down or eliminate any compulsions since I've been here. If I missed that, my apologies.

Now how about we go back to the topic of this thread.

Edited October 14, 2015 by PolarBear

[taurean]

I always take opportunities to strip things down to the basics.

People get confused with too much theory - they only need to know the essentials, what to do, and why - and Bear is great at delivering that.

Yes I for one don't like confrontation, particularly on a medium seeking to support and guide people towards, hopefully, improvement.

I was an agent for many years, and know that if you want to bring parties together to make a deal, you need to take out, or at least reduce, conflict and emotion.

So lets get back to helping people to try and resist the power of compulsion and false meaning using simple understanding, stripping out/weakening emotional responses and deploying simple techniques to the good.

Edited October 14, 2015 by taurean