Does my child have ocd

[Guest Loui83]

Hi everyone. Really hope someone can help. I've just put my 10 year old daughter to bed and she's just got really upset saying that she hates herself. When I asked why she said because of all the 'weird stuff' that she had to do before she can go to sleep. When I asked her what she meant, she went on to explain a long list of things she needs to do before she can go to sleep, here are just a few:

* make sure all the toilet roll is wrapped around the cardboard nearly

* check behind all the doors that no one is there

* check the doors are locked

* check the windows are not open

* talk to and be nice to all her teddy and dolls so they will nice to her

* touch each teddy and doll

* and then once in bed (the top bunk) she has to lean over and check the bottom that no one os there and she has to do this numerous times before going to sleep.

Now I have been aware of this for a while and she is a very anxious child and has always had to have things a certain way. But tonight I witnessed her get really upset about it and explain in a bit of detail what she needs to do before bed. I'm sure it's ectuskly worse and there are more things that she has to do. Do I need to be worried? does she need to see a doctor?

[Em24]

It does sound like OCD. Yes take her to your GP. Its good ahe has opened up to you she obviously feels she can confide in you and trusts you You will be her rock during her treatment, just remember she can get better xx

[PolarBear]

Her behavior is certainly indicative of OCD but you know it could be childhood anxiety brought on by something like a feeling that she is not safe and has to take extra measures to ensure she is safe. I wouldn't necessarily take her to a doctor quite yet. What I'd like to see is if you can calmly and rationally explain to her that she is safe at night and she need not worry. Then see if you can convince her to drop one of her safety routines for several nights in a row. It could be the toilet roll. Explain to her it's okay if it's messy. It doesn't mean anything. Engage her to see if she can stop that particular behavior on her own. If so, try another one. If she can't or refuses, try a different one to see if she has more luck with it. Keep trying for a while and see if you can get to a point where she is improving and being able to let go of her safety behaviors on her own. If she is, great! If not, then think about taking her to a doctor.

One thing is that you don't want to overly reassure her that she is safe. That in itself can turn into a compulsion, where she is more and more asking for reassurance. Once is okay but do it sparingly.

Good luck and we're always here if the situation worsens or you have more questions.

[Guest yinyang]

Hi loui,

I am not a doctor, a psychiatrist or psychologist, I'm just a sufferer, so please bear this in mind.

Going on what you've written, she would appear to be showing traits of the disorder in my opinion.

I don't think you should be worried but a visit to the doctor's would be a good idea wouldn't it?

IF she is diagnosed with OCD or an anxiety disorder the sooner she gets treatment the better and the easier it will be for her to overcome, again in my opinion.

It could be something it could be nothing but for the sake of a doctor's appointment, I know what I would rather do

[Gemma7]

Hi I agree with the others it sounds like it could be ocd or simply anxiety but it would be worth seeing a doctor. Just make sure you play off going to the doctor as a routine thing that anyone with worries would do so she maintains her communication with you. If she feels you are really worried about her she might worry she is upsetting you.

I also heard about a childrens book recently called 'Frankie's foibles' it is for children with ocd or anxiety 7 years plus and is supposed to help children to understand worrying better. I haven't read it but it could help.

All the best and let us know how you get on xx

[ThreeTimesGuy]

Hey Lou,

I agree with the peeps that have already replied petal. Please, I don't think that you should be worried, concerned would be how I might look at it. Although I'm not a parent myself, this isn't a disaster and I know that some of our posts can be concerning at times however, she's a young girl and I think that if you approach this carefully and cautiously, it will really help her to shine as she gets older.

I have suffered from OCD all o0f my conscious life and I have the same sort of OCD thoughts and rituals that your Daughter seems to have. I was six or seven when I first discovered what OCD was though and that it wasn't a game in my head that I had to play, it had a name, semantics have always been important to me. There was a man and a woman being interviewed on 'This Morning' (this is back in 89' I would think). By your username I would think that you are roughly the same age as me. The man said that if he saw an aeroplane in the sky that he would have to look at it and blink to signify that he had viewed it a certain number of times, if he didn't do this he believed that the plane would crash and that it would be his fault. I can't remember anything else about the interview other than a sense of companionship and belonging, that was reassuring TBH.

Your Daughter must be very perceptive, it's horrid that she's upset and blaming herself. Thankfully she has a loving Mum who has known exactly where and who to go for to gather information. There are so many people on this forum that can and will help you, you'll never be on your own again if you have found yourself in this situation, I have no idea if there's a history of OCD in the family or how understanding those closest to you are. BTW, there is a disconcerting trend for parents to blame themselves for there child having OCD or smilier, this is in no way the case, in fact that she has told you her concerns directly and at such a young age are a testament to your daughter's intelligence and how close you both must be to each other. Apart from once or twice telling friends that I had OCD as they had asked me why I would keep turning my head, believing that I suffered from paranoia, I told no-one until I was Twenty-Four and working as a Librarian had become a living nightmare, surrounded by words and dirty books and hands and argh....Dewey decimal numbers! I felt so hopeless, quitting a job that otherwise, I was very good at.

How you take the next step will, of course, be your decision and I wouldn't want you to be swayed into something that might be suitable Lou. We're all individuals and you know your Daughter intimately and whatever you do, it will be for the best. I do apologise should you have wanted a more concise and informative reply than the one that I have given. I want to give you a context from your child's perspective and assure you that if she has OCD, which, realistically, I would have trouble doubting, then she needn't ever be held back by this, in actual fact, this may lend her added character and resilience at such an early and promising age.

Lastly Lou, I remember that my Brother, who is nineteen months younger than me, would often repeat a sentence that he had just spoken under his breath and he had a terrifying and irrational fear of Tesco, this was when we were kids and he has long since grown out of this. There is always a possibility that your Daughter's OCD esque behaviour is a temporary and transient fascination that will diminish and disappear over time should she have that peace.

I hope that my input has been helpful and I apologise that there are no firm answers, however, there are many people here to support you and who can advance you into acquiring further help should this be necessary. I wish you and your Daughter every good that you both deserve and that she finds an appropriate and inner calm in the near future.

All The Best Lou,

Stu x

[Eddy]

Hi.

Awww....you sound like a really good mum . Well done for spotting that you daughter is anxious and for caring enough to look at what you can do to help .

We can't really diagnose here as we are not trained to and have not met your daughter or anything , so its just my personal opinion , for what its worth and I may be wrong of course , but it does sound like ocd types of behaviour and extremely similiar to what I used to do as a child around your daughters age. In fact I started at the age of 5 ish .

Is there anything particular going on at the moment in terms of extra stress that is making her worse than she usually is ? Anything at school or home etc . Of course you don't have to say , but its just something to look out for .

If I am honest I would go to the doctors and try and get some help for her . Thats just my opinion and I am certain you know whats best for your daughter . Thats just what I would do and my opinion . Trust your heart . You know her more than anyone .

The good news is she is such a young age she will be easier to help and much more receptive than someone who has struggled for many years with it like myself .

I dont think you have anything to lose by getting her a bit of help . Again , just my opinion .

Try not to be over anxious yourself ( easier said than done ...i know ) , but I know I used to pick up on my parents anxieties , so if you can remain as upbeat and positive as possible I am sure that can only help .

All I have written is just my opinion . I am sure you know whats best :-)

Good luck

[Guest Loui83]

Thanx everyone for your replies they've really helped. There is a history of ocd in the family, her Aunty on her dads side had it quite bad and had to go through therapy for it. I don't think she's stressed over anything at the minute. The only big thing that's changed is that I've just had a baby, so she has a 10 month old sister who she absolutely adores but she has told me I'm the past that she worries that something will happen to the baby. Me and my husband were talking about it last and we too had the idea of encouraging her to stop the things she has to do one at a time, see how she cops with that. It's sad to hear that most have you have suffered with this for most of your lives which is why I really want to get help for my daughter now, I'd hate her to grow up feeling like this and be worried and anxious as an adult. Thanx again everyone

[Caramoole]

I tend to agree with Polar Bear.....in the short term I'd probably try and do a bit of work with her and explore what's going on and how much it impacts on her. It will become clear how much anxiety and distress/disruption this is causing her and if so, then an appointment can be made with her GP.

Have you had a look at our publication for children, Jolly & Grump? You can find it here http://www.ocduk.org/sites/default/files/childrens-booklet.pdf. Have a read through and if you feel it's suitable, perhaps have a read through with her when you have some time to sit down together.

I'm pleased she's confided in you and that between you, you can help her work through this.