Please Share Here Your Best Techniques For Resisting Compulsions

[taurean]

I have found that the best way to deal with checking the house before I leave it is this:

Rationalise the checking. I only concern myself with windows doors electric gas lights curtains.

Treat upstairs and downstairs checks as "completely separate".

For each of those, check each room in a standard way; once checked, mentally note that room as done - when I leave it I KNOW it is done.

Do the kitchen last before the front door.

When building up to this I was of course checking several times, going back upstairs or whatever. But I stuck to the goal of doing it in one structured system - and it works.

Sometimes I wobble a bit on the kitchen if I am under stress - but in general this is nicely controlled now.

Edited December 17, 2015 by taurean

[gingerbreadgirl]

I struggle with checking and go up and down with this. I find the only way to stop myself from checking over and over and over is to physically force myself away, telling myself off if necessary! It can make leaving for work/going to bed a nightmare sometimes - but I tend to find that once I have forced myself away, the anxiety does fade in time.

[ecomum]

If i lock a door or wash my hands etc i say it out loud as i do it and focus on it totally so when i question if i did it i know i have so i only do it once.

If i have a spike i read my ocd notes which remind me its ocd.

Sometimes i am able to just let it go but if not then i do these things.

[Caramoole]

The bottom line is that virtually all of those checks are unnecessary and "Normal" people don't make them at all. I for example leave my home for 2/3 days a week and don't make any checks, I just lock the door and go.

So it's really down to working on the feelings of anxiety and doubt when we don't check and resist the compulsions.

[Guest yinyang]

The bottom line is that virtually all of those checks are unnecessary and "Normal" people don't make them at all. I for example leave my home for 2/3 days a week and don't make any checks, I just lock the door and go.

That's right!

I used to be a terrible checker.

I got to the point where I had enough one day and I said to myself 'well sod it, if the place sets on fire then so be it' and left.

I forced myself to walk out, turn the key in the lock and walk away.

It was difficult but surprisingly liberating!

It didn't take that long for the anxiety to fade and get into the 'normal' routine either.

You need to take a leap of faith

[Caramoole]

Well Done

.....and you're right, sometimes going Cold Turkey and saying "Sod It" is the most effective way of moving forward

[gingerbreadgirl]

This is good advice. I have thought about doing this too... I've got close(ish) but can't bring myself to not do checks at all.

Well I say 'can't'... obviously that's not true I can, I've just been too anxious.

I think one of my issues with checking is that, in other arenas of life, I'm pretty absent minded and often forget little things or make errors that other people don't tend to make.

My fear is that if I'm not really careful with checking, I will become absent minded and error-prone with this too.

When I was a kid, I accidentally left a bulb on in my bedroom and it was touching my bedsheet (it was one of those bendy desk lamp type things) - when my mum found it there was smoke coming off it and she turned it off, forever leaving a burnt patch on that sheet. That could have ended REALLY badly and I got a fair old telling off for it. I also got told off a lot as a child for being dreamy, forgetful, and other (less kindly phrased) things.

So I think this is where my checking issue has come from. But like any other OCD issue, it can be overcome.

[Gemma7]

Oh yes the checking issue, wow this is a hard one to overcome. It is just so easy to glance at something. I definitely think the route to go down is to not check at all. It is the clearest way to tell the mind that nothing happens when you don't check.

GBG, I was told to be careful all of the time by my dad when I was little and I think you are spot on with thinking it is part of the problem. Watch out for negative bias towards the times you weren't careful because there are probably countless times when you were absent minded and nothing happened.

I think for most people you need to ask yourself, did I used to do all these checks? Are they making me more or less sure? Does the general population do these checks?

[Caramoole]

Hi GBG.....there are "normal" checks that can be/are done that don't fall into "checking" as such. Such as glancing round the bedroom as you leave it to see if the lights are switched off but you wouldn't go round checking the rooms before you leave.

Sockets don't need to be switched off or things unplugged.

Windows don't need to be checked unless you know they've been open (which at this time of year is unlikely) I go out and never close my windows in summer.

Door locks, you actually "know" if you've just locked the door....the rest is OCD.

Roy's post suggests a huge checking/compulsion issue and even the reduced/organised checks are an issue.

As YinYang suggests, you really do have to say Sod It and be prepared to burn down, get burgled, flooded or whatever.....because in truth, you know it's OCD.

Decades before I'd ever heard of OCD I used to check. I could be going out and go back six times to check the door or go back in to check I'd turned the oven off. Like YY I just decided enough was enough and just decided to stop it, once I did it was far easier than I thought and far easier than doing it.

Give it a try

[Guest yinyang]

Thanks caramoole!

I should add that I would have considered myself quite chronic also and I suffered for many years. Light switches, plug switches, plugs removed, moving 'flammable' objects away from an already unplugged heat sources! door locks, water taps, the list goes on and on... I even resorted to taking photos for my own reassurance, It was ridiculous and I knew it was.

I appreciate that you have came up with a coping strategy taurean and that's great if that's an improvement, but I could really see what you are listing becoming new compulsions and glossing over the fact that;

Unless you have bonfire raging in the living room, what really needs checking?

Average Joe wouldn't need to check anything, he might have a quick glance but that would be fleeting and immediately satisfactory.

I would say that's what you need to aim for

[gingerbreadgirl]

This thread has been a real eye opener, thank you everyone.

I have quite elaborate rituals both for leaving the house and going to bed.

But honestly.... WHY??? what am I even looking for??

My brain says things like:

- if the kettle is plugged in then it could explode and burn the house down

- maybe I lit candles this morning and forgot?

- maybe someone could climb up to the third floor window and break in

etc etc.

It's stupid!!! I'm not an idiot, I know these thoughts are irrational, but I give in to them, not once but several times.

no more!!!

I'm setting myself a challenge. Tonight when I go to bed I will:

- lock the front door and not check it

- set the alarm

- go to bed

This is drastically different to what I normally do, which encompasses an enormous range of different checks (garage bolts, check freezer door is shut, check all three locks on the back door, lock the utility room door, check the toilet window, test front door doesn't open, check no candles are lit, check all windows with eyes and hands (ummm... yeh), run my hand over ever plug and light switch, check kitchen door is shut so cat can't get out and set alarm off, rinse and repeat, and repeat, etc etc).

I'll let you all know how i get on!

[Gemma7]

Good for you GBG I'm cheering you on :cheer:

[Caramoole]

Good Luck and great attitude.....just do normal. Perhaps as a help for the first night....don't have candles tonight then there's not that doubt to begin with. As a "Normal" (debatable? ) person.....candles are the one thing worthy of checking, within reason

[gingerbreadgirl]

Thanks Gemma and Caramoole.

Caramoole - not having had candles lit that evening is, as far as my brain is concerned, no good reason not to check them. I *might* have lit them and forgotten about it, you see.

*facepalm*

[taurean]

My fear is that if I'm not really careful with checking, I will become absent minded and error-prone with this too.

When I was a kid, I accidentally left a bulb on in my bedroom and it was touching my bedsheet (it was one of those bendy desk lamp type things) - when my mum found it there was smoke coming off it and she turned it off, forever leaving a burnt patch on that sheet. That could have ended REALLY badly and I got a fair old telling off for it. I also got told off a lot as a child for being dreamy, forgetful, and other (less kindly phrased) things.

So I think this is where my checking issue has come from. But like any other OCD issue, it can be overcome.

Seeding events so yes likely cause. I uawed to worry , when we qwent out as a family, that the kettel had not been switched off. Stupid - I was only a kid - it wasn't my responsibility to check the house.

i used to count in my head to feel "comfortable" beofre doing some things. Funnily enough, I worked out for myself that that was completely irrational - stopped and of course nothing happened!

I used to have self-harm imagination issues. I sparayed my hair to go out for the evening, and all evening I had a n error thought that I has sprayed my hair with paint.

when I was repairing my car with fibreglass once, I suddenly got the thought that my clothes were actually made of fibreglass.

Again I rationalised this one out, and saw it was falsehoods aand false messages - but I didn't know at the time that it was OCD!

I like what our friend above said about checking. This is where we came to when we discussed this in the support group meeting I attended. The conclusion to the discussion was take reasoable precautions - accept that - when you shut the door - you may have overlooked something - then go and don't look back - it is the only way to break free. Otherwise that whisper in your ear is always going to say - "but are you sure you checked the taps in the bathroom" or whatever. And yiou stay stuck.

[Guest yinyang]

Go GBG! You can do it!

I think with checking I found it easier because you got quick results. For example if I left the TV on standby for the night and woke up the next day, I could 'see' that no harm came of it and my rational mind found that easier to comprehend, If that makes sense?

I still use the 'sod it' approach to this day and it's an ongoing thing. I still get the odd nagging doubt but it's a drop in the ocean compared to what it used to be and probably not dissimilar to what average people experience.

I often give myself little challenges also, I guess it's like my own ERP really, like purposely leaving the lava lamp on while I go to the shops! Sounds daft I know.

Obviously common sense stuff, leaving candles burning or something might be a valid risk!

I find it keeps me in check and stops me from sliding back into my old ways

[taurean]

Let's wish Ginger and others well with a new slant on the checking.

Moving away a little, what has always been good for me is:

Keeping really busy and enjoying what I am focusing on

Shutting out the opast (though I am struggling with that a little currently however)

Putting my mind in stasis and - when I am not busy - just acting in the present in the moment (mindfulness).

I discussed this with my therapist B....We both felt sad that there were times when we could do the mindfulness really well, and others when we just couldn't get there.

So I am interested in how people get on finding the way into "just being"\?

Last year, for 2 days a week for 4 months up to my retirement I had to travel to Chelmsford to spend a day in our office there. I really enjoyed what i was doing in the last four months, but the four hours round trips to Chelmsford were a challenge on the days I went,

I had to find ways to stay calm and relaxed on the journey, and not to fall asleep and miss the Chelmsford stop.

I managed to engage the "portal" into mindfulness by:

Staring out the window on my initial train to Liverpool Street.Just being an observer, not a focuser

Stopping in a station cafe for a roll and coffee.

Playing music on the phone's musicplayer on the Chelmsford run.Just being with the misic, nothing else.

Reading e-mails ready to deal with them on arrival.

Setting the alarm in the phone!

Result - I never really noticed the journey, I found the portal into "just being" in the moment in the place I was. I a\rrived refreshed, I got home refreshed.

To get into "just being" we have to find a portal - whatever suits us. Once we have found one, we can re-use it. worth looking for other portals too.

To help people locate one, this is how we operate outside of mindfulness.

The brain is operating in its active "doing" mode normally. This is normal conscious thinking, and we go about our daily grind working to rules, looking for answers, seeking resolutions. When we get a worry or an OCD intrusion we try and resolve it, and this is where the damage occurs. We get locked into compulsions as a result of an OCD fear, threat, guilt, responsibility. The brain won't let go - we have to find a solution.

If we can exit that mode, and switch to the other part of our brain that is only intrerested in just smelling the flowers as we pass, we exit the anxiety cycle and the compulsing - we relax, laugh, enjoy, and we feel lighter when we walk as no tension is weighing on us.

So how do you think you can find the way to throw the switch into the being mode? What do people find works for them, what do they think they might try to seek that being relaxing mode?

Getting into a tv programme can do it - choose something really really interesting that you don't want to swtich away from - I like "grand designs" or quiz shows - my focus goes straight into the show and away from elsewhere. funnily enough, when I was insuring tv programmes I could do this - ebven when at the studio with the programme going out "live" - I was simply focusing on the risks and addressing them - not the programme being broadcast live - that was tre responsibility of the producer/director. .

When I get the telescope out and search for a planet or a star, that does it - I just focus on that task.

Same with fishing - so much to do, so much to thing about, the day flashes past in a blur.

You can spend a day mindful at work - often I would do that when creating a training course to present.

Be careful to make sure you only enter the mindful state when it is safe to do so - not driving, operating machinery, caring for the kids using machinery or whatever. And if you are walking, make sure you still maintain focus on yours and other people's safety as you walk along smelling the flowers!

Edited December 17, 2015 by taurean

[Guest yinyang]

"not having had candles lit that evening is, as far as my brain is concerned, no good reason not to check them. I *might* have lit them and forgotten about it, you see"

I know exactly what you mean GBG and you know it's ridiculous but it doesn't stop you checking!

It really is a bizarre illness

Edited December 17, 2015 by yinyang

[taurean]

Remember though, seeing things as ridiculous and the cause as OCD is a kick-start towards taking the leap of faith.

i like Ginger's "zero tolerance" when she was tackling false memory. It's something to aim towards, not be able to do straight away.

What is our main goal in tackling our OCD? For me, it is rendering triggers benign. A secondatry goal is leaving unhelpful negative neural pathways to fall into disuse, and following newly-created positive neural pathways.

For those of us who see that we have a real negaitve bias to our thinking, this is where we need to do some work. Reducing compulsions weakens our OCD trigger strengths and helps to those goals.

Challenging non-OCD negative automatic thoughts with a rational more positive response should, over time, start turning the negative bais towards the positive. .

[Caramoole]

i like Ginger's "zero tolerance" when she was tackling false memory. It's something to aim towards, not be able to do straight away.

Sometimes it's best to do it straight away......especially with ones like checking doors, plugs, kettles etc

For me, it is rendering triggers benign

The problem with that is that it can take forever and often never. To render them benign is a way of saying there's no risk, no danger and that's waiting for certainty. We all have to decide what's acceptable to us but looking from the outside looking in, I would say that this method could be a big hinderance to beating these obsessions

[gingerbreadgirl]

i like Ginger's "zero tolerance" when she was tackling false memory. It's something to aim towards, not be able to do straight away.

Just as an aside, the zero tolerance approach only worked for me once I committed to it completely - I had to jump into it 100%. Anything less was just treading water and making excuses (which I had been doing for a long time).

[taurean]

When we look at it as an ideal rather than a rigid "must do" it is a more realistic prospect. My intent is to manage the OCD, and shorten relapses. Still a work in progress as you know, but something to aim for.

I don't lnow why for long periods I seem to be able to jump over the obstacles and then suddenly I can't *- still frustrates me - but I do recognise that the mindful way is good as it takes me away from the obsessive/compulsive thinking patterns

*I still have this feeling, backed up by someone else's post yesterday - and Tez's experience - (and that of PolarBear) that there is a med out there that can help with this, but maybe I'll not get to that - or maybe I will try next year an anti-psychotic - we'll see.

[taurean]

Just as an aside, the zero tolerance approach only worked for me once I committed to it completely - I had to jump into it 100%. Anything less was just treading water and making excuses (which I had been doing for a long time).

Have you had a go at looking to slip into mindfulness Ginger? As I have said, you don't have to do a course in it, you just have to embrace the moment. When I worked near St Catherine's dock in London - near Wapping and the print works for "The Times" newspaper - I would often lose myself totally into the moment at lunchtime there - deliberately alone as in my work I was always with other people . Sometimes i just sat and had a sandwich took in the yachts at moorings and the expensive flats. Others I watched the tourist or had a drink in the pub there. Or gazed at Tover Bridge.

It was resting and recuperating, plus good exercise.

Edited December 17, 2015 by taurean

[Guest yinyang]

When we look at it as an ideal rather than a rigid "must do" it is a more realistic prospect

Realistic or easier?

OCD will worm its way back in when taking half measures, it always does.

I can only go from my own experience but tackling it head on, no holds barred is the only sure way in my opinion.

I appreciate its hard, really really hard but it can be done

[taurean]

The full on way doesn't work for me, its a subtle beast and it knows what i am thinking. And there are lots of layers of peel on my OCD "onion".