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'Innocent people don't confess...'


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I would say...

Your mind had latched onto something compeltly irrelevant to you and that there is no connection to your thought and this 'phrase' you heard. I would say you are triggered easily because of being in such a fragile way for such a long time and you have forgotten how to think rationally about this 'false memory'.

I am sooo tempted to put a 'but' here :( x

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I am sooo tempted to put a 'but' here :( x

But you mustn't !!! As ginger says, it is a regular feature in your posts - BUT a compulsion you just HAVE TO resist :original: Edited by taurean
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Thanks gbg

Your going to hate me...

I just seem the person concerned in my 'false memory' and they gave me a funny look and kind of pulled a face at me. My mind is in overdrive now thinking the worst that it's because I am this horrible disgusting person in my image :( x

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This is your way forward Saz.

So that you remind yourself of what the team have been telling you, and how you can impliment it - spotting the compulsions you carry out along the way.

The only way to "fly solo" and get better is to carry this out.

You can do this - and gradually it could then become second nature instead of the OCD.

There is such a great deal to gain from applying yourself to this "homework".

Edited by taurean
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Hi Saz, I'm dealing with the whole false memory thing at the moment and made the mistake of asking for reassurance, naturally it didn't help and actually made it worse as my brain has convinved me that when I asked the person they actually said something totally different from what I initially thought they said. The more you mull it over and ruminate the worse it gets, for me the more I think about it the more real it feels and the more stuff I supposedly remember, my brain distorts and twists everything. The best thing you can do is accept that even though it doesn't feel like it, the chances of it being OCD is high. You need to let the thought go and live your life, it's hard but also the only thing that will help you. If you ever need to talk then feel free to message me.

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alas a forum that feeds into a ocd sufferers ocd , saz.

Not sure I understand you Legend. Are you suggesting we are a forum that feeds sufferers OCD? If so I think it's a very unfair and incorrect statement.

There will always be fellow sufferers who misguidedly offer support that is reassuring but this is universal, it's across the board and understandable somewhat. At OCD-UK the Moderating Team and a pretty high proportion of its more senior, well versed users diligently correct and challenge incorrect suppor/information. It's something that I can't say about many of the other OCD Charity forums I've observed, hence OCD-UK is the only one I've personally ever felt comfortable to be involved with or support.

Maybe I've missed a post or misunderstood completely what you mean but I'm a bit disappointed with that comment :( If I have misunderstood, my apologies...it's late

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Sorry please don't fall out on my account..its my stupid fault for posting..I'm truly sorry :( x

Nobody's falling out Saz, I've known Legend a very long time :)

As it is, it turns out to be slightly misworded and therefore was misunderstood, it happens easily when you're typing out replies....had it not been so, I needed to respond and clarify. Legend knows me well and would expect nothing less, he understands how strongly I feel about the forum and the charity.

Thanks for the explanation Legend and clarifying things :)

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Nobody's falling out Saz, I've known Legend a very long time :)

As it is, it turns out to be slightly misworded and therefore was misunderstood, it happens easily when you're typing out replies....had it not been so, I needed to respond and clarify. Legend knows me well and would expect nothing less, he understands how strongly I feel about the forum and the charity.

Thanks for the explanation Legend and clarifying things :)

Yep x I'm not the best comprehensive wise at times, and yes I known caramoole since 05 , she's about right nearly 100% of the time. ;) ha ha x

And yes often it can be misconstrued , in sense of way its intended.

Take care , one and all

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Hey ginger

Oh I'm not too sure, I'm kind of trying to just ignore it all. I find this happens though, I'll be ok for a short while and then back to dreaded square one! It was a horrible feeling the other day when I posted about seeing the person concerned in my 'false memory' but I know you do not want to reassure me or anything and I totally respect that...its just hard.

Anyway maybe I will just continue to ignore it?

I'm also glad everyones ok and friends x

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Oh I'm not too sure

OK honestly Saz... to be frank you should have a stack full of knowledge about OCD by now!

I'll be ok for a short while and then back to dreaded square one!

This happens because you carry out a compulsion. I 100% guarantee it.

The key thing isn't necessarily ignoring it (white bear syndrome and all that) but just allowing it to be there without carrying out any compulsions.

This means allowing it to be there AND ALL THE HORRIBLE ANXIETY AND DOUBT (you always fall at this hurdle) without trying to do anything to make it better or make it go away or work it out or solve it.

This is the continual pattern with you... you ignore it for a bit, then you get a surge of anxiety and you start trying to work it out, you think 'why has it come back, it must be real...' and then you're back to square one.

I think you need to sit down with a pen and paper and come up with a proper plan based on the advice you have been given here and by your therapist.

Not just 'oh I don't know.. maybe I'll ignore it?'

Might have to get Caramoole's kipper out at this rate!

xx

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The key thing isn't necessarily ignoring it but just allowing it to be there without carrying out any compulsions.

This means allowing it to be there AND ALL THE HORRIBLE ANXIETY AND DOUBT (you always fall at this hurdle) without trying to do anything to make it better or make it go away or work it out or solve it.

This is the continual pattern with you... you ignore it for a bit, then you get a surge of anxiety and you start trying to work it out, you think 'why has it come back, it must be real...' and then you're back to square one.

I think you need to sit down with a pen and paper and come up with a proper plan based on the advice you have been given here and by your therapist.

Not just 'oh I don't know.. maybe I'll ignore it?'

Excellent advice from GBG.

Ignoring the thought and living with the anxiety is helpful. This gets you used to feeling anxiety and teaches you not to do compulsions to ease it.

But what you've been doing, Saz, is performing compulsions until the anxiety calms down and then ignoring the problem.

As soon as your anxiety triggers again you do more compulsions to get the anxiety back down. Then you ignore the problem until the next time.

Ignore the thought. Don't ignore the problem of doing compulsions every time you get anxious.

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Thank you both...

I know myself that I do end up back to square one due to my compulsions (here's the part where you tell me off..) but I feel like I need to and by my mind and my whole body telling me that I need to to compulsions, ie go over it in my mind, then I take this as a sign that something is/was wrong at the time. I'm not looking for you to reassure me, just explaining to you.

I have to admit that there was a bit in this thread earlier on that freaked me out and I can't understand it but I'm trying my best not to over think it as I know people are trying to help me.

X

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I know myself that I do end up back to square one due to my compulsions (here's the part where you tell me off..) but I feel like I need to and by my mind and my whole body telling me that I need to to compulsions, ie go over it in my mind, then I take this as a sign that something is/was wrong at the time.

X

"But I feel that I need to".

But no you don't!!!!! That feeling is the disorder telling you to and, as you state above, you know that is what keeps the connection to the thought intact and keeps you stuck.

So, you can see that NOT COMPULSING is the way forward - and you can see that the urge to do so in your brain is a false solution - it only makes matters worse.

You are in fact blessed with fantastic superior knowledge Saz from this forum - you have been told by others how they overcame this urge to compulse and beat the false memory OCD.

Did you make a note of how they said they did it?

It isn't easy - it is not a question of just trying - trying is a weak word that allows for failure; it is all about making a firm COMMITMENT to stop the compulsing, spot any attempts to connect, and nip them in the bud.

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but I feel like I need to and by my mind and my whole body telling me that I need to to compulsions, ie go over it in my mind

This is why it's called a compulsion, Saz. It's so hard to not give in to it because "just one more time and I'll know for sure" -but you have to fight this. Try not to engage with it- the worry is in your conciousness but you don't need to engage with it. Just try to let it be there and crack on with your day.

The disorder sucks, Saz, but it does get easier. I promise.

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but I feel like I need to

We all feel we need to - it's a compulsion!!!

as Binxy and snowbear have said, this is why it is called obsessive compulsive disorder.

I know you say you get that but honestly I don't think you do - I think if you're really honest you're totally convinced you are somehow different to us. But you're not.

It's a compulsion.

It's not an 'i kind of want to'. It's a deep, all consuming, overpowering need - a compulsion - to do what our mind is telling us to.

But you have to decide not to do it anyway.

Come on - you're stronger than this.

Who's in charge here?! You or some disorder bossing you around?!

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I go over it in my mind, then I take this as a sign that something is/was wrong at the time.

This is your key to fighting the compulsions, Saz.

You take the urge as a sign something is wrong.

Does that mean something IS wrong? No.

It means you've interpreted the feeling to mean what ever you want it to mean.

What anything means is flexible. You choose the meaning you put on 'signs'. We all do.

What you need to teach yourself is that this feeling is a sign. But it's a sign you're getting an OCD compulsion, nothing more.

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