OCD and Music

[Guest mentallyill]

Hi guys, 

I thought I'd post about an issue I'm currently having.. I'm a musician and have a pretty good ear.. I can figure songs out in my head, and usually don't have to work through the harder tunes for very long. This is one of my few talents as a person, and music means so much to me. Recently I've been obsessed with whether or not I am singing in tune, or things are in tune (guitar, piano, my voice.) This is has been an extremely upsetting event since I can no longer sit down with my guitar and sing without fiercely concentrating on whether or not I am in tune. I fear that I am losing my musical ability. And just so you know this isn't an easy post to breakdown (OCD sufferer is obsessed with pitch) let me tell you this..

I record a lot.. and because of this I have hearing damage in my left ear and some in my right. I have read online that distorted pitch perception can accompany hearing damage, which would explain why I am having difficulty singing in tune. I am definitely singing off by the way! Not in my head. 

I guess the question is.. Could my OCD be making me sing slightly out, or am I having a real problem with perceiving pitch because of mild/moderate hearing damage? The weird thing is I know when I'm singing out.. Which is the silver lining to this whole ordeal. I've also had episodes like this in the past, where I've been frustrated because I didn't think I was singing in tune, but it's never been this bad, or persisted this long. 

I hope some of you have some advice for me (other than to protect me ears) which I'm now doing of course

Edited June 19, 2016 by mentallyill

[PolarBear]

There is no chance that OCD is making you sing out of pitch. What is happening is you have become fixated on being perfect. You need toilet go and just sing, trusting that you're doing okay. You also need to tell yourself that it's okay not to be perfect.

[Guest mentallyill]

2 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

There is no chance that OCD is making you sing out of pitch. What is happening is you have become fixated on being perfect. You need toilet go and just sing, trusting that you're doing okay. You also need to tell yourself that it's okay not to be perfect.

Do you think it's related to hearing loss?

[PolarBear]

Maybe. You can get thatchecked out. But hearing loss wouldn't explain you being fixated on being perfect. OCD does.

[BristolChris]

Hi. Stress can affect concentration so it could indirectly be not helping possibly. It may not be as bad as you think.

[Shlumpf]

Hey there,

 

I'm a musician too, and I too sometimes get very 'obsessed' with how perfectly I do things. But here I use the term 'obsession' in a much more everyday usage kind of way- I think about it a huge deal and it means a lot to me, but it doesn't form part of my main obsession and as such thinking about it doesn't really cause me any problems. 

In fact, I sometimes see my ocd as having some positive effects- the problem has been caused by a brain that won't accept uncertainty, and gets stuck on certain thoughts which I think and think until I don't know which way is up and I cause myself levels of anxiety that are unbelievable. I think it's the same part of my brain that makes me practice hours on end every day and fixate on how perfectly I do things, sing in tune, play difficult things smoothly etc. It feels like a bit of an upside to a condition which otherwise is nothing but a pain.

 

Personally I would suggest listening to a bit of Neil Young or Nirvana or something. There are loads of great singers who didn't/don't sing in tune, and musicians who don't play very well, but are, in spite of that, great musicians. And there are many more musicians who play and sing perfectly who are completely boring. It's about believing in what you're doing and enjoying what you're doing, there's no such thing as perfection. 

 

Also, when you've just done something, you hear all the mistakes. Listen to the same thing a month later and you don't notice the mistakes at all. You just give it a bit of time and the bad things stop sticking out- there's probably a lesson in that that applies to all ocd thoughts, just let them alone a bit and they stop being such problems.

[Guest mentallyill]

9 hours ago, BristolChris said:

Hi. Stress can affect concentration so it could indirectly be not helping possibly. It may not be as bad as you think.

Hey Chris, 

Ya I'm sure it's not that bad or even noticeable to others, but because I notice it, it affects my feelings of self-worth since it's pretty much the only thing I'm good at. It's also my only healthy coping mechanism for anxiety and depression aside from exercising.. I just don't know what to think. At times I've been certain it's in my head, and then the uncertainty creeps back. And now, after visiting an audiologist i have real evidence that supports this is not in my head. I've thought that it's OCD because music is so important to me, and OCD is fear-based, so it would follow that something I deeply care about such as my musical ability would be a prime candidate for the disorder. But god the hearings tests! I just don't know.

Life is hard.

 

[Guest mentallyill]

8 hours ago, Shlumpf said:

Hey there,

 

I'm a musician too, and I too sometimes get very 'obsessed' with how perfectly I do things. But here I use the term 'obsession' in a much more everyday usage kind of way- I think about it a huge deal and it means a lot to me, but it doesn't form part of my main obsession and as such thinking about it doesn't really cause me any problems. 

In fact, I sometimes see my ocd as having some positive effects- the problem has been caused by a brain that won't accept uncertainty, and gets stuck on certain thoughts which I think and think until I don't know which way is up and I cause myself levels of anxiety that are unbelievable. I think it's the same part of my brain that makes me practice hours on end every day and fixate on how perfectly I do things, sing in tune, play difficult things smoothly etc. It feels like a bit of an upside to a condition which otherwise is nothing but a pain.

 

Personally I would suggest listening to a bit of Neil Young or Nirvana or something. There are loads of great singers who didn't/don't sing in tune, and musicians who don't play very well, but are, in spite of that, great musicians. And there are many more musicians who play and sing perfectly who are completely boring. It's about believing in what you're doing and enjoying what you're doing, there's no such thing as perfection. 

 

Also, when you've just done something, you hear all the mistakes. Listen to the same thing a month later and you don't notice the mistakes at all. You just give it a bit of time and the bad things stop sticking out- there's probably a lesson in that that applies to all ocd thoughts, just let them alone a bit and they stop being such problems.

Thanks for your response, and I should listen to Neil and Kurt more they're great..